My girlfriend is pregnant and I can't be in this relationship any more. I don’t know who I am anymore and I really need to tell her it’s time for me to leave. If she decides to keep the child, I’ll 100% support it. What do I do?
So let me get this straight: You are not married, and yet you were having sex with this woman, and from the tone of your letter, you imply that you’re living shacked up with her as well. Talk about putting the cart before the proverbial horse…wow.So now, seven weeks ago, your life-style choices resulted in a pregnancy, and you’re asking how you can back out of the relationship. Did I say “wow” yet? You’re asking for advice, so I’m going to talk straight to you—you got your girlfriend pregnant, and now IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE—what makes you happy or depresses you, finding yourself, all that—-it’s about building a committed home in which you can take care of a WIFE (i.e., not a girlfriend) and a child who needs a daddy, not a sperm donor and a check. This isn’t playing house,this isn’t adopt-a-pet, this is real life where people are counting on you to step up to the plate, man up, and do the right thing.The first thing you need to do is propose marriage to your girlfriend—in a hurry. She needs to know you’ll never leave her, that you’ll always be there for her, and that you’re going to take care of her and your child and make a home out of it. That conversation needs to take place immediately. You possibly need some mentors in your life, some good role models for stable relationships—-find some. Your entire goal in life right now needs to be preparing for a stable home and preparing to be a good husband and father.Secondly, you and your girlfriend need to be making some definite plans for your financial future. There is student aide available, there are vocational-technical schools if that is an issue—but building a home and a life takes money.If you and your girlfriend are unwilling to take these measures, then I would urge you both to place the baby for adoption so he or she can be raised by a stable couple who are ready to be parents. This may be hard, but if you’re going to walk away or she is unwilling to commit, then please, for the sake of your baby, summon the fortitude to do it. Don’t let your mistakes create hardship and instability for a child who never asked to be conceived out of wedlock.
My pregnant girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. How do I deal with this?
Just be supportive, you’re not going to get ANYWHERE by trying to make her feel bad or guilty about it or even complaining about it.She could either be going through something emotionally, affected by the hormones, just try and communicate with her to see if there’s anything like that, that she needs to talk about…just find out how she’s doing, don’t tell her that anything is necessarily wrong.And then just take care of it yourself. You have to know when to pick and choose your battles as a man and this a clear lose-lose for you all across the board, you are checked mate and any move you want to make is NOT going to turn out good for you.So just sit there, wait it out and try to do what may not come natural to you.You can attempt to talk to her but it’s super risky if you say anything in the wrong way or you just say sex. Maybe she doesn’t feel very sexy or in the mood as her body is changing. It’s better you just keep your mouth shut if you haven’t opened it already, if you have just try and be nicer to her.Anything you do on the contrary is going to tarnish you. You’re going to be the guy that was a douche while she was carrying your together baby, and you can’t win that.I’d say try and be more active and distract yourself but at the same time you’re going to have to be there for her, you just have to suck it up or you’ll pay the consequences.
I'm Pregnant With My Best Friend's Husband's Child?
Yes, yes Im a WHORE. I know i am =( Not too long ago, I had a Christmas party at my house. When my best friend and my other girlfriends were socializing with people in the living room, my BEST FRIEND'S husband (who is BEYOND SEXY) came over and started talking to me. He was drunk obviously because he kept slurring and kept saying things that didn't make sense. Then, he started coming on to me. He told me I was beautiful, and sexy and started asking why WE were not married and raising a beautiful family together. I had a little too much to drink too, but I was fine, not acting as stupid as he was. But anyway, he told me that I was the hottest woman in New York City and how he wished he'd married me instead of my best friend. Then, it got bad. He started kissing my neck and moving closer and closer to me. I tried to make him back off, but he wouldn't. Then finally, he left me alone and I went on with the party. Then later on in the night, I felt like I was going to vomit and the bathroom downstairs was taken. So, I went upstairs and threwup (obviously from all the booze) in my bathroom. I guess her husband (no, not saying his name) heard me from downstairs or down the hall and came to see what was wrong. He comforted me, and made me feel a lot better. And then...what do you know it. We ended up having unprotected sex in the damn bathroom. :( When my period was five days late, I was so scared. I kept throwing up, was tired, and felt sick all the time. I finally decided to go to my doctor and it horrified me when she told me that I was pregnant. I have no idea what to do. I did tell my best friend's husband and he got extremely pissed, and tried blaming me for everything that happened. He wants me to have an abortion and to NEVER bring it up to my friend. I think I will get an abortion. I'm such a dirty slut! I could never carry a child for 9 months that I made with another woman's man. Then having to look at that child's face and know that my best friend's husband is this baby's father. I just can't.
Why is my friend milking her pregnancy?? She is driving me NUTS!!?
LOL. Unfortunately pregnant women have the knack for driving others nuts. We think everyone is as interested in what we are going through as we are...nobody else is as interested. I've learned this lesson. Let me just say this - morning sickness is nothign to be trifled with. Yes, it's a common symptom of pregnancy, but when you are throwing up 6 times a day it's not fun anymore. You want to die. You would give anythign to make it stop. I actually lost close to 10 pounds just from throwing up alone. Not fun. Preggos can be self-centered (it's a sorry fact). We're going through so many changes, both physically and emotionally. Next time your friend brings it up, just change the subject. Or plan a "no pregnancy" lunch where neither of you are allowed to talk about it. Believe it or not, as wrapped up as we are in our own pregnant lives we get sick of it too! Good luck!
If we're just friends, why not tell me his wife pregnant?
For the past year, my ex from college and I have been talking on the phone 2 to 3 times a week. We are JUST friends. He is married with 2 kids. I am single but have been seeing someone steady for almost a year. My ex has not crossed the line with me but he has not told his wife we talk on the phone. My guy knows and does not have a problem. My ex let it slip the other day his wife is 5 months pregnant. I was ticked off not because she is pregnant but because we talk about a lot of things going on in our lives and he conveniently forgot to mention this. He tried to play it off saying didn't we talk about this? I said no. This confuses me because we are ONLY friends but yet he keeps this a secret. We are not having an affair but he keeps our calls a secret from his wife because it would bother her I guess. Why would he hide something from me and not tell his wife when we are only friends?
I did not go with my friend to the abortion clinic to support her and now she has stopped talking to me. I am a Christian woman and I did not feel comfortable being in that environment. Am I wrong?
No, you were not wrong. You have every right to feel the way you feel. Sometimes we can't be there for a friend when their choices conflict with our deeply held values.You didn't say how long it's been. Have you tried reaching out to her? If so, give it a little more time. She knows why you couldn't go with her. She may be experiencing a wide range of emotions, both about the abortion and about how she feels around you.Many years ago I was heavily involved in pro-life activism, as well as volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center. One day I got a letter from my sister (this was before email and cellphones!). She was angry and bitter. She'd had an affair with a neighbor and got pregnant. He was not the same race as she and her husband, so the baby would definitely have obviously not been his. She very defensively then told me she had an abortion, and she “knew I would judge her for that, so take me or leave me". This news devastated me. I threw myself down on the floor and cried my heart out. Both for the loss of my niece or nephew, but also for my sister's broken heart, and what she thought my reaction would be. All I could do was pray. I got an answer- “send her flowers and a card with your love”. We were broke (as usual back in those days) and that was an extravagance I would never have thought of. I said “ok Lord, but you'll have to provide the money”. The next day I got an unexpected insurance refund for $30! So, I sent her flowers and simply said “I love you”. She called me when she got them and bawled her eyes out. She was so afraid I'd hate her forever and be angry. A lot was healed between us that day, and she sent me a bouquet in return.We are very close now and have been for years. It could have gone so much differently…I know there are many times when God has probably knocked me upside the head and I've missed the message by a mile. I'm grateful that this one got through. It made all the difference in our relationship.I believe there may soon be an opportunity to minister to your friend. Be patient. It doesn't have to be the same thing I did. Just be ready when it comes to you. Your friend needs you more than she knows. God bless.
I’m pregnant, and I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t care to see me or talk to me. I tried talking to him about it multiple times, but he doesn’t seem to get it. What am I doing wrong?
You're not doing anything wrong dear. The problem is your boyfriend unfortunately. During this time being that you're pregnant, it is crucial as a boyfriend, who truly cares about you and his child, to take care of you. You said he doesn't even care to see or speak to you.. that is a major red flag. I hate to break it to you but young men these days, are not responsible or mature enough to understand how important raising and having your own baby is. From his perspective, he is scared, he may feel irresponsible and selfish, he probably feels like an idiot. He is trying to distance himself from the picture.If this wasn't planned, maybe he doesn't feel ready to be a father. He probably cares about it, but he is scared, scared of losing his youth or maybe he feels the relationship is not serious, or he's just flat out not ready. Gather up your courage as a young woman and ask him. “Tell me how you feel about this, are you going to help me raise this baby or not? Be honest with me.” Be absolutely blunt, don't sugar coat it honey. Don’t take “idk” for an answer. It's a Yes or a No. If he can't say yes, now you know he's not willing to stick around as a father. That's when he's out of the picture and it's you and your baby. It's a hard decision. Okay, I get it. It’s not okay, it’s disappointing, and a tough situation. It's really hard, but he is just not being responsible and treating you like he should. That's when you cut him off. Right now, he is not being a responsible or mature. Don't take that from him. You be a strong woman that I know you are.Listen, you can try to work it out with him, maybe he'll agree to be a father if he truly cares. Just remember that actions speak louder than words. You have to try to be as healthy and in the best mood possible for your baby. On the flipside, your baby is, and should be your absolute first priority. Your inconsiderate boyfriend should be 3rd behind your family, friends and yourself since he can’t even bother to see how you're doing.