Would you support your (marriage) partner if (s)he wants to go to medical school at age 37?
I would. Life isn't all about money. It would be a terrible financial decision. But the point of money is to be able to pursue dreams, not the other way around.After all, I'm in debt like every other doctor, but I'm hardly "scraping by" on my $180k salary, despite my loan repayment. I've got a house, a car, and a dream job (actually, I've got two dream jobs, concierge physician and hospitalist, but that's a different story). And a dream wife. If she wanted to pursue medicine, I would do everything I could to make her dreams reality.I love taking my wife on dates. We go eat sushi or whatever, and I'm not sitting there worrying about whether I should have taken her to McDonald's instead and then invested difference in my 401k. The joy of practicing medicine is a dream to me, beyond all price.If she felt the same, then the only question would be "how" we could make it happen.One of my fellow residency colleagues, at age 50+, was completing a dual internal medicine/pediatrics residency with me. It was his third career, and he was (and presumably still is) one of the most dedicated doctors I have ever met. He was following his dreams, and if my wife wanted to do the same, I would do everything I could to make that happen.My resounding theme, in regard to both medicine and marriage, is that it’s not about logic, it’s about love.
My wife is banging me because she says I have no ambitions in life. What should I do? I’m 41 , has small debt, big apartment, traveled the world. I’ve accomplished all my dreams already. I just want to wake up and dress for school our son everyday.
Your wife already has seen (7) apartments. She’s well off.You have a HUGE disconnect between you, that is for sure.Having enough money is not always a blessing, especially if one of the two of you, you, don’t really see the need or urgency to go out and earn much more.You do run a really serious risk of beoming a “dummy”, a man without desires or drive to do ANYTHING.The problem is, indeed, with you, not with her. She is who she is and you have slid apart.Nobody can change another person, but every person can change him/herself.Your task is to find something to do that satisfies both of you,My wife, the business woman, is on many board of directors and is very active outside the house.I like to stay at home. I do the dishes and some of the cooking.What’s so good - we are not together all day long, we only meet at times of celebration: Waking up together - having breakfast together (I always prepare it) - coming home - dinner - going to shows and parties.Why has she never called me lazy? Because I do a lot of things, many of them only in my mind - I just published my memoirs - I do some light sewing to keep our clothes in good shape (learned that in the army) - and many little things.And - we practice the two most powerful words ever made to keep a couple together.Try them:YES DEARIt takes me only a few moments to do what she wants of me and then I’m “free” again.