Can you help me edit my poem?
I wrote this poem about the boy I like (its kind of more like love) but anyway can you help me edit it. It's difficult for me to change anything about it for some reason. If you can't think of any changes just comment on it! I like harsh bit constructive criticism but compliments are always accepted too... Thanks I saw you in my dreams last night But it was awkward like real life. We often don't know what to say So we just look into each others eyes But quickly look away For there's always a distractions And There's no purpose in looking if theirs nothing to see. But it's not the lines or colors Its more the feeling of it all Or something else But your eyes burn so bright I regret looking away They get stuck inside my head like a song Turns my letters to scribble My words to nonsense It makes me a fool to think You ever liked me Or That you could make this noise inside my head stop
Would you help me with my poem?
Here it is in answer form:--------------------------I am losing it, in sightStarting narrow, opening brightIt is not heavy, nor lightCan't measure it, it's delightIt reflects, like a mirror, in partYet, open ended, resembling artIt surrounds, like a circle, no end or startCan't understand it, it's in the heartThe only thing in the world without a blurSelf demonstrating the literacy of pureIt pauses my pain, as a natural cureCan't doubt it, it's sureI won't help it, or give assistanceRather sacrifice all, worth more than existenceIt puts me to extremes, from mild to wildCan't hold it back, as I'm standing by the bed, of my sleeping child--------------------------What I see is rhymed unfooted verse; "unfooted" means that there isn't a regular pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables; as you mature as a poet you may find that easier and easier to accomplish.Your rhymes are well-chosen; Great! "in the literacy of pure" is a little awkwardly reached, but it's mysterious enough to count as a good line.Winding up, the final line makes all the mysteries vanish; this also is very good.And finally, the feeling, the emotion is clear, believable, and well rendered.
Can you please help me edit this acrostic poem?
I wrote an acrostic poem about Canada's Urbanisation & Industrialization period. And I wrote this poem about communication, and how it was during AND after Urbanisation and Industrialization. Here it is: C communicated face to face O over time, the invention of Radio allowed ppl to know what was going on in other parts of the country (Canada) M any found this new technology both entertaining and helpful. M more technology was being invented. U nited states was linked to provinces in Canada through telegraph lines over time. N ow we have new inventions of technology like, I pads, Ipod, laptops, phones C ars, and a lot of new things that have both had a negative impact on humans, A nd positive T TECHNOLOGY moves rapidly in today's society I n today's Society, though, people are too caught up in new technology that it has ruined O ur way to really interact with others just face to face. N ow days, people rely on technology too much, and that has a very bad impact on us all. HOw can I make this so much better? And interesting? And clear? Thank you!
Can you help me write a poem about a blue eyed blonde girl with a great personality ( or edit my current poem)?
Shining bright eyes, as hot as blue fires, one look and you have me, your beauty inspires. And all I can say, for that gorgeous blonde hair, is all other girls must be crying, for they feel it's not fair. Beauty you have, this is already known, but your personality glows, and this to me is what has shown.
Can someone help me analyze this poem?
I can suggest questions for you to consider:Who is Breytan Breytanbach?Who are the other characters?Who is the speaker of the poem? Is it the author (Chris Abani) or someone else?Who are the other characters mentioned?How many allusions to death are they? What function do they serve?How about allusions to weapons?To imprisonment?Can you relate this poem to Shelley's Ozymandias?
Editing needed for a simile poem?
I am horrible at writing poetry and would like some suggestions to help me on my poem. This poem is a simile and i came up with some ideas but can't manage to put them into proper sentences that can create a poem. Title: Have no idea what to put as title. as barren as a homeless as hungry as a sailor as arrogant as a professor as reliable as the weather as fragile as a heart as eloquent as a wife as rough as sandpaper as tentative as hope as restless as a caged bird as confining as a dream as pale as a cloud carried by the wind as pliant as a toothpick as empty as a shoes as orange as crush I need help with forming these into full sentences. I would really appreciate any help with coming up with sentences form these lines, also any difference i can make to make it much much better Appreciate all the help