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Could You Check My German Grammar In This Sentence

Can you check my grammar?

"I followed the instructions on how to accept the offer and paid my acceptance fee and tuition deposit with my credit card but I haven’t received any receipt or notification to my email. I was wondering if you could tell me if I had accepted the admission offer successfully."

I'm an international student. I paid my tuition deposit and everything but I didn't receive any emails. So I want to ask to the admission if I accepted the offer successfully. I'm not sure if my paragraph explains the situation well. If not could you please edit my paragraph?

German grammar check..please?

Right now, I am doing a German language course. I saw in my book written

Darf Ich Sie etwas fragen? meaning which i could understand is - May i ask you something?
So here its Sie(Akkusativ) and not Ihnen (dative) is it correct?
If i'm right then the other sentence is
Darf ich Ihnen meinen Mann vorstellen? why here they used "Ihnen" which is dative instead of Sie (Accusative) as before and is it because they used Ihnen that they are not using "meinem Mann"

Can anyone here explain?

how can i easily make myself understand the usage of dative and accusative when it comes to normal speech..?

Please help..thanks a lot

Can anyone check out my German sentences?

"Ich schlagen an einem Trommel.
Ich bin gehen zu schlagen dich."

I think they're correct in context but I really hate it when someone says my grammar and sentences are incorrect. They are not. Schlagen has 50 meanings or more in the dictionary and the dictionary also says schlagen means to kill. In the English to German dictionary, kill translates to schlagen as the 10th word and in the German to English dictionary, schlagen translates to smite which means to kill as the 6th word and schlagen is the only word for smite and schlagen also translates to kill as the 12th word and it's by no means a coincidence.

Yes, I'm aware Kindergarten is German but I also don't need the so what. German is my 2nd language I've become fluent in, English is my first, Japanese is my 3rd. Don't insult my intelligence. It is wrong.

Where can I find a german sentence corrector?

I thought such a program wasn't invented, and considered conversation with a native speaker, or asking a native speaker for help to be the best way. unfortunately that is not an option. Are there any good books to learn german grammar, perhaps sentences with gaps?

Can you check my grammar?? should have think or should think??

Do you mean thinking "of"others? If so, then maybe this would work better: "I should have thought of others first, but it seems I chose not to do so. For this I am very sorry."

How about that? =)

What does this german phrase mean? is it correct grammar?

Joerg is right, you can't use "werden" in these sentences.

Also, there are a couple of typos in your last example sentence. It should be "dass sie ihre Waffen hätten fallen lassen müssen".

I also wanted to point out that "schneiden lassen" doesn't fulfill your requirements. It's not an expression that can be replaced by a single verb in English. For example "sich die Haare schneiden lassen" means "to have your hair cut" in Englisch. The verb "have" fulfills the same function as the German verb "lassen", i.e. to indicate that someone else is doing the cutting. In other such expressions, the two languages are even more similar, e.g.
gehen lassen = to let go (and let=lassen, so it's a really literal translation)
The fact that the verb "drop" exists in English to express the idea of "to let sth. fall" is pure coincidence. That's why it's so hard to find other examples for this.

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Edit re your details:

In all your example sentences "they" (i.e. the people) were the subject. That means that the verbs have to be active. If you want something were you can use passive verbs, you need to rephrase them so that the object (e.g. the weapons) become the subject:

Die Waffen hätten fallen gelassen werden müssen. = The weapons should have been dropped.
Die Haare hätten geschnitten werden müssen. = The hair should have been cut.

If you want to add who's doing something, you have to add it as an object after the subject:

Die Waffen hätten [von ihnen] fallen gelassen werden müssen = The weapons should have been dropped [by them).
Seine Haare hätten [von seinem Friseur] geschnitten werden müssen = His hair should have been cut [by his hairdresser].

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