Help Explaining Things To A Friend

A friend in need is a friend indeed- explain?

I personally don't believe in this age old adage.Friends are there in our life for a much greater purpose than to just help us in times of need.Helping us out when need be can be one reason to call a person our friend but that's not the only reason.Sometimes all we need is a person who can just listen to us , sometimes we just want to be heard without any advices , opinions or judgments.I think a friend is a person who is there to listen to us , to let us vent out rather than just providing a solution to our problem.Even we at times fail to improve the situation we are in , then how can we expect someone else to do that for us when we ourself can't , how can we judge their friendship on the basis of whether they are able to help us or not.It’s really selfish of us if we consider someone our friend until they are able to help us. As long as we enjoy their company ,as long as they are there by our side , as long as we can be our Own self in front of them , I don't think anything else should bother us.

Should I stop helping my friend with university exams?

This is a tricky question.Allow me to share my experiences, hopefully, they will answer your question.In my initial years of Bachelor of Technology, I used to spend more time explaining my friends than preparing for exams.Well, that worked fine because I am a fast reader and explaining to others refined my concepts again and again.On the other hand, my friends understood those concepts in a better way and used to clear all the examinations.But it got tricky when I started to realize,It is doing more harm than good to them.After a few semesters, they started depending solely on me. Just listening to my explanations and with a little effort, they were passing the examinations. Because of this, they are losing their ability to read books and understand the concepts themselves.After some brainstorming, I asked a question myself,What will they do if I am not around?Somehow I realized I am hindering their growth and development. From then I slowly reduced explaining instead gave some topics to prepare on their own.Even though these changes affected their grades heavily,I knew it was only temporary and I was doing this for their own good.But most of them simply started to ask other students. I could not do anything but mind my own business.So in my opinion, Helping your friends is not a bad thing. But make sure you are not doing permanent damage to their development.Hope this helps. Let me know if you need anything else.Irfan

How can I be better at explaining things?

To explain something as best as you can the other person needs to be at the forefront of your actions. Their understanding is what is important.See it from their point of view - We often assume that the other person knows exactly what we know when they are often missing many pieces that we possess. Look at the problem from their point of view or try to understand why they see it from that point of view.Find out where they are missing a piece of the puzzle - This is everything you are trying to find out! All you need to know is what they are missing and then you can easily explain it to them. Just remember that they probably have no idea what they are missing, so you have to do some detective work yourself.Make them feel valuable - A lot of help is not taken seriously because the person who is giving the help is acting above the other person. Just because the person across from you doesn’t understand the subject, it doesn’t make you a smarter person. If you want to avoid their resistance and keep them open minded to the information then make them feel as valuable and happy as you can by positively reinforcing them with sincere compliments.Stay on topic - Get your explanations out using as little words as possible. Less is often more in this case and the person is not understanding it as is, so there is little point in flushing it out and adding a lot of other information.Explain in analogies the other person is familiar with - It will do the other person no good if you try to explain the problem to them in terms of chess if they have never played chess. Find something that they are familiar with and explain it to them using an analogy that uses it to get them to easier connect it in their head.Go one step at a time - Do not go to fast and explain everything you are doing. In math you often had to “show your work”, well… this is no different. Show the other person your thought processes and get into the habit of thinking out loud.Ask for understanding often - Of course you can pride your ego with the fact that you can explain it in two sentences, but if they don’t know what you are talking about it isn’t going to do them any good. Remember that THEIR understanding should be at the forefront of your actions.Stop being less than you can be and reach your goals. Send me a message saying "Coaching" and get a chance to work 1 to 1 with me. Lukas Schwekendiek

Learning English: How can I help my friend understand what's going on in American TV shows such as Thundermans and Supergirl?

It seems you are trying your best to help your new friend since I have seen quite many similar questions on Quora regarding this problem. :) In my opinion, it's tough (or almost impossible) to find Finnish dubs for these American series as normal Finns can handle English quite easily. I noticed that, unlike some other countries in Europe (e.g. Spain, France), most American series/shows are aired here in original English with Finnish/Swedish subtitles. The subtitles are probably provided for old people or small kids. It's not worth producing dubs when it requires a lot of time, money and effort but only serves very few audience.I am not sure why your friend (I suppose she is a very young Finn) needs Finnish dubs, but my suggestion for her is to practise more and more English. She is living in the US which is an ideal environment for learning English. I doubt that she could improve her English by listening to the Finnish dub everyday. About American culture, perhaps she is still young to fully understand what is behind these shows. Truth is, very few non-native English speakers do when watching an American show for the first time, but as time passes by, they will get used to it. Not to mention if you use dubs, you have missed some values of the show already. Hence, if possible, you can help her by explaining what she doesn't understand about American culture. Which could be a better way to understand a new culture by sharing it with a local? :)Good luck!

How can I explain to my friends that I have a mild cerebral palsy, which is usually not visible?

I have mild CP. Mine is visible but only if I'm up and moving.In general, I don't explain in great detail. I usually say something like…just to let you know, I have mild CP. If they've never heard of it, I add…that means the messages don't get from my brain to my body very well. Then, I end with, I'll let you know if my limits are an issue for some reason.In my case my CP usually becomes an issue because I can't do stairs without railings, need to bring my service dog or don't have the stamina to do a planned activity. Or, the planned venue isn't accessible.I can understand the sentiment that made someone else say if they're you're friends, you don't have to explain. But, in reality, your CP is a part of you. And sooner or later, your limits will be an issue. The key isn't to find people you don't have to explain it to. In fact, if you ask me, you want people who want to know, who want to understand. But, they want the knowledge so they can be inclusive and help you work within what you say your limits are at any point.Good friends aren't the ones you don't have to explain to. They're the ones you explain to who are polite, respectful and don't make a big deal out of it. They just help you be part of the group in a way that works for you.As I get to know people, I educate them on what to do if I fall (nothing, most of the time, I can handle it myself), and what to do with a service dog (ignore her).The key is to explain as much or as little as you're comfortable with. Use simple, everyday English and let people know beforehand if you're okay with them asking questions. It's totally okay not to go into detail, or not be up for Q&A. Be matter of fact, and stick to the boundaries that you're comfortable with.If someone is inappropriate and or a jerk about it, do not engage if you can help it. The unfortunate reality is that it does happen to us palsy folk, but when it does, that's where you can use the, well then they aren't my friends in the first place line.Good luck!Feel free to comment or DM me with any questions you have.