How do you get your penis unstuck from a CD hole?
Hey so my friend got his penis stuck in an Eagle-Eye Cherry CD after losing a bet and he wants to know if he should go to the hospital or if we can get it out using baby oil or something??
My penis is stuck in a washer machine. How do I get it out?
This reminds me of a bad joke.A farmer comes home early from the fields and finds a man in bed with his wife. Taking his shotgun, he makes the man walk, stark naked, to the barn where he puts the guy’s dick in a vice and locks it shut. Then he takes out a long filet knife and starts sharpening it on the grindstone, sparks are flying everywhere. Horrified, the trapped man exclaims, “Hey man, you’re not going to cut my dick off, are you?” To which the farmer replies, “No. You are. I’m just going to set the barn on fire.”
How do I get my penis unstuck from the vacuum cleaner?
Turn off the vacuum, idiot.
How do I get my penis unstuck from a toaster?
Okay guys, so I recently heard online that if you melt vaseline and pour it into a toaster, it can be really good for masturbating. So I took out my new KitchenAid 2-slice toaster to test it out. When I inserted my penis into the slot, it didn't feel good at all. But when I tried to pull it out, instead of removing it, I accidentally lodged my left testicle in as well. Now they're both stuck in there and I can't get it out. I tried butter, lube, and a whole jar of vaseline, but it just won't come out. Just so you know, I am completely serious, and I really need your help. Do you have any tips for this? Please don't be sarcastic, because it really hurts and I honestly need help.
Guys, how would you get your penis unstuck from something?
If the tube has no paper left on it, and it's one of the cardboard ones that are like wrapped together (with the diagonal lines, I hope you know what I'm on about!) try tearing it and unraveling it to get it off.
What do I do if my dogs are stuck together?
DO NOT STARTLE THE DOGS!! This is very important! I was once given the awful advice to scold them & dump cold water on them! It was awful & resulted in both dogs being injured! I have successfully bred my dogs many times & more importantly I have stopped them from breeding even after they have become interlocked. Try to remain calm especially if it’s the first time, in your most soothing voice approach the dogs with your head lowered and your hands visible repeating to them both “it’s ok, I’m here now & everything’s going to be ok” keep reassuring the dogs as you approach. If they try to pull apart while the male is flaccid & swollen the female may be dragged& the male could sprain his genitals or injure himself to the point of sterilization. So you don’t want them to run. Your goal is to calm them both down & you don’t want the female to attack the male either! Once you get close enough to both dogs Let them smell the back of your hand & touch the top of they’re heads gently patting until you reach the nape of the necks. My best success was with a some chicken meat or roast beef anything they wouldn’t normally get that will divert they’re attention. Initially pet the back of they’re necksthen gentle tugs (think how a momma dog carries her pups) the gentle tug on the nape of the neck & repeating “moms here, it’s all ok, your gonna be fine, just follow me, come to mommy) encourage them to come to you & as the male softens? ,deflates?, limpens? (yuck idk which word to use but i hope you get the idea) especially if you have treats the male will follow you. Contact your veterinarian immediately if you do NOT want puppies he will help you make an informed decision. I hope this helps. Just remember the pups are just as nervous as you are so remaining calm is the main component.
What is the Navy's policy to get your penis unstuck your your pants zipper?
I think you are referring to an article by three physicians at the Balboa Naval Hospital in San Diego entitled "Acute management of the zipper-entrapped penis" that appeared in the Journal of Emergency Medicine. The abstract of the article states "A zipper-entrapped penis is a painful predicament that can be made worse by overzealous intervention. Described is a simple, basic approach to release, that is the least traumatic to both patient and provider." It also states, though, that "the views expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Navy, Department of Defense, nor the U.S. Government" so maybe that's not it. A search of the .mil domain reveals only a very limited number of documents that mention both zipper and penis and none of them is a policy of this nature.
What should I do if semen feels like it's still "stuck" inside my penis after I ejaculate?
Drink a lot of clear fluids, like water. A little bit of cranberry juice isn't a bad option, just don't overdo it; it is acidic. You want to do what you can to naturally flush yourself out through urination. Once your arousal goes down and you've had a good piss, that feeling should go away.If after a few hours it's causing you any serious pain or blockage to urinate, then you might want to see your doctor. But a little tightness is pretty common after sex.Outside of that, always get in the habit of trying to empty your bladder after sex. It's a natural cleaning mechanism, clearing semen and your partner's fluids (and all of the bacteria that comes with that) out of your plumbing. When I learned this lesson in my late teens, I had a lot less troubles with that stuck, tight feeling, and urinary tract infections in general.