How do you make yourself grieve?
I am not a cold person. I'm very warm and caring. I think with my heart first and my head second. I'm passionate and loving. But I can't let myself grieve for my losses. I just took a college course on Death and Dying. I've read books by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I know grief is natural, and I recognize the stages of it. I can lecture someone else on the importance of grieving, but I can not seem to do it. I have suffered so much loss in my life. More than an average 36 year old should have experienced. BUT I CAN'T GRIEVE. I'm so afraid of it ruining me, my outlook on life. Counseling hasn't helped. I can't seem to even talk about it. With a total stranger, it's impossible. With closest friends, I can talk a little, but not too much. I just feel very lost, and very lonely right now.
How much time do you give yourself to grieve before you "get it together" (again)?
As long as you need.It’s different for everyone. But, if you aren’t doing anything to help yourself, it could be a slower process.So, start by understanding that relationships teach us about life and about ourselves. Even the ones that don’t work out can teach us about how we interact with another person.It’s okay to be sad, in fact, if you weren’t sad after a break up, I’d be wondering if you were deluding yourself. So, acknowledge that break ups suck, but also that there must be a reason for it. (The tough part is that you often don’t know why until something good happens and you look back and go, oh yeah - if I was still with so and so, I wouldn’t have had this new experience.Make little goals for yourself (like, trying not to think about your ex for an hour) then reward yourself when you succeed. Then, extend that time period out.Use that nervous energy to do something that will help settle you.And then, dust yourself off, put a smile back on your face and get ready for the next phase of your life.
What's the difference between grieving and self-pity?
Self-pity is far more difficult to overcome than grief. It stems from an overwhelming feeling of inability to change your circumstances and grows into a certainty that you are powerless to do anything.I have a problem with your therapist encouraging you to think of others who have it worse, even though I know that's a technique that's often used successfully in psychotherapy. My feeling is that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others, for better or for worse, and focus on internalizing our sense of self-worth.i.e., not "he's worse off than I am," but "I'm worse off than I want to be."not "he's better than I am," but "I'm better than I was at this X amount of time ago."I feel that self-pity can actually become worse when you measure yourself against others (and keep in mind that you don't see the whole picture of their lives, so you're limiting your assessment of their value to only a segment of who they are and what they experience!) If you're depressed, this can even make you feel worse, because thinking of why you shouldn't be so ungrateful for what you have simply adds to your burden of unworthiness.Self-pity can often be alleviated better by turning inward and focusing on your own personal progress, and looking more at short-term goals than long-term ones. This creates the feeling that you actually do have successes in your life. Another thing that might help is trying to accept your limitations as simply that - limitations, not flaws that you are somehow a failure because you cannot correct them. (That sentence sounds awkward, sorry. . .)IOW, don't try to fix everything. Not everything can be fixed. Do what you can, accept what you can't do, and don't try to change things you can't change. Just *be*.
Is it normal to grieve over a dead pet?
Yes it is completely normal to grieve the loss of anyone that you loved whether they were a person or animal. I lost my dog (15 ½) last December and even though it’s been nearly a year and I will soon be getting a new dog I still get teary eyed about it sometimes. It’s perfectly natural this was a close friend and family memeber for 10 years. To be honest sometimes people take the passing of a dear pet much worse then a losing a human friend. This is often because with animals they take you as you are, you don’t have to worry about impressing them they love fully and unconditional. I think its sweet you made a collage of him that is something you can keep for the rest of your life. If it is too hard for you to look at it right now [which is understandable when your dog just passed away] I would just put it away somewhere and get it out when you are feeling better. As time goes on it will get easier though you may always have a pang of heartache and always miss your departed dog. Try to think of the good times that you had with your dog and that your dog had a wonderful home while he was in this life because many dogs do not. Before my late dog passed away I wrote her a letter and read it to her at the end I told her that I would love her forever and I would miss her until we are reunited in the after life which I know in my heart will happen. You just have to take it one day at a time. Some days will be good and some days will be bad. Also know that there is no time to get “over” the loss of a pet or any loss that one has suffered when a loved one crosses over. I don’t think one every truly gets over losing someone that they truly loved again whether that was an animal or person. There are many books on Pet grief and even support groups out there if you need them. Do not be ashamed there may be some people that will tell you to get over it this people arenot pet people and do not understand how devastating it can be for someone to lose a beloved pet. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
When you grieve The Holy Spirit.........?
No, God doesn't seal someone with his Spirit and then take it away because they cause Him grief. Ephesians 1:13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. If every Christian who got angry at another Christian and said something bad to or about them lost the Holy Spirit then I daresay there would be very few Christians going to Heaven. It's like when a Father is grieved because His children are fighting. He doesn't disown them. It just makes Him sad. He tells His children to make up with each other and get along with each other.
What's the difference between 'grieve' and 'grief'? And how to use them?
You grieve or you have grief They are the verb and noun form of the same word.
Husband won't let me properly grieve.?
Then get off to yourself, and grieve as you need to...everyone handles tragedy differently and instead of arguing with him over who is right or wrong in their grieving process, just do what you need to do... As for "he won't let me..." the fact is that he cannot stop you...if you want to go out with friends, then go...the "LETTING" you do anything ended when you moved out of Mommy & Daddy's house and became an adult with a mind of her own...you are choosing to LET him control you, and that's your fault if you don't like it... Sorry for your loss...I've had dogs who were family to me in the past, and their death was quite painful and sad...when something or someone you love is in your life for many years, it's nearly impossible not to care when they are gone... See the subject link for something that may bring a tear, but also some comfort...