I don't want people in my life anymore.?
I'm the same way about social stuff. I'd rather stay at home than go to a party too. It takes a lot out of me mentally when I'm forced to socialize in that way. I don't feel like I'm as special as others; I lack whatever it is that makes you quick witted and know what exactly to say/do. So many failures with people, I mean, is it no wonder that discouragement occurred? And after you put so much energy and effort worrying about someone, thinking, caring... it ends up sucking. Things happen and it goes awry. Other people seem happier, and I think I'd want to be like the people that I notice around me. It seems like they live differently. Life is a different experience for them, and I wish sometimes I might be able to test that out. It's just that I'm so sure it'll end up a failure. I'll get bombarded with all the horrible thoughts about how loserly I am when they end up leaving again. Getting bullied by those thoughts is what really depresses me. I really wish I could just float in space or something. I don't want people worrying about me and lots of times I'd rather ignore than deal with my problems. I hate when people make comments because it makes me feel only worse. I already know the stuff they're saying and I really wish they wouldn't say it. It only makes me worry that I must look really bad from the outside; which makes me self-conscious. You know you're in a bad place when you believe there's no light at the end of the tunnel. That's when it's really gone haywire. Believing there's no possible future where things go alright is why many people end up killing themselves. My advice (and this is something I've done myself) is to find something you love. Something that no one in your life can understand and that is private and special to only you. It'll give you something to look forward to everyday and something that reestablishes your motive to get through the day. It doesn't have to be something like volunteering in a hospital... or knitting sweaters for homeless cats. It could be something like finding a book series that you find AMAZING, or finding a comedian you find hilarious, or going to reddit.com and laughing a bit, or maybe make yourself the best dang cup of hot chocolate man has ever seen... reward yourself each day for getting through the day.
I dont wanna live anymore?
Okay honeybee-- I'll start with the first problem and work my way down. The guy--he's trying to get you back, that one's a no-brainer. He's a jerk, you said it yourself so just ignore him, you don't need that kind of stress and grief in your life. I know what it's like to feel like as if there's nothing to be happy about, I kind of feel that way right now, but I know that life doesn't put anything in front of me that I can't handle. Feel your feelings, be happy (nothing bad will happen). As for your relationship with your mom, try to make it work, talk to her--she's your mother and she'll love you no matter what. It's been my experience that your friends reflect who you are and who you become in the long run. Make good choices--don't drink, don't party like a rock star just yet (save that for your twenties) get through school and leave your mark in the world, but make it a good mark. The "good" friends, the ones who get mad when you hang out with your "party" friends have reason reason to be angry. They can obviously see what you're doing to yourself--by reading everything you've written I can tell what you're doing to yourself. You are making the choice to feel sad or alone, you can make the choice to change your life and view on the world. Just know that you don't have to face it alone. With much love, Lana
I don't wanna live anymore?
I've had depression, it started because I was sick of losing and I brought myself down and that started self harm. I went to therapy, it might have helped for a bit then I stopped going because I was "cleared" No more than a few months later it came back worse, I really don't self harm as much but my depression is much, much worse and I can hide it better than anything. I really just want a way out of life, I find joy in nothing, nothing even though I act like I do to please others. I cannot go back to therapy it is much too costly and my parents more stress on me when I tell them I'm still depressed. I've been to doctors and all they told me it was a part of puberty, it killing myself and having so many symptoms of depression puberty? I know people will miss be, but life is so bad and it may just be temporary but I can say it will be temporary for a LONG time. I want to get better but everything makes it worse, I'm annoyed with all the headaches, I hate how stress builds me up, I fail everything there is nothing I'm really good at, I hate how I can't complete anything I plan to, I can't do anything productive… I want help, but nothing is helping?
I don't wanna live anymore. Help?
I'm 18 & I still live at home. I go to college. My parents pay for everything. My life doesn't seem bad, cause there are other people that have actually had a tough life. Idk. I just feel kinda useless. I always do everything wrong. My family is falling apart. I hate my job. I hate school. Idk what I wanna do with my life. I don't have many friends some moved away & some we just don't talk anymore. Idk if I can take this anymore. My siblings are constantly putting me down, they say really mean stuff, they know what bothers me so it hurts really bad. Part of me wants to end my life but I can't cause I take care of my grandpa. I'm the only one who takes him out. He'd be alone if I was gone. Can someone please help? What should I do? I can't tell my parents that I feel this way & idk if I could afford a therapist. Besides I'd feel weird going to one because I don't trust people. What if they tell someone everything or what if they tell my parents. I just don't know what to do. I always walk away when things get hard. I'm almost at that point :/ I've felt this way for a few years. Idk if I can take it anymore )':
Do you ever feel that you don't want to live in this world anymore?
You know the worst part about feeling helpless to change the world for the better, it makes you give up and become part of the very thing you hate.Through drug addiction, I didn't really interact with the world for nearly 15 years. I was a mere passive observer and didn't care one way or another if WW3 happened. No, in fact I welcomed Armageddon as I thought humanity had had it's time and I still believe we are destined to destroy ourselves.I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I have money to survive and sometimes even live it up. I have a fiance whom I adore and is the only person I feel truly ‘gets me'. My parents are still alive, even though both of them are apart and don't really like each other.In the end, most people only worry about themselves and their nearest and dearest and that's what I do. I still worry about the state of the world and what my purpose is in it (if there is one). I'll never cure cancer, I'll never develop FTL travel so we can infect the rest of the universe, I will never be remembered for anything of note and I'm okay with that.We are all just living out our lives and waiting to die. Just have a little fun along the way and see life as some absurd experiment of a greater power we could never comprehend.
I don't wanna die, but i don't wanna live anymore?
i need help. i feel like i don't belong anywhere, not home not at school not anywhere else. i just feel so lost and sad all the ******* time. and i don't know what to do. I just feel like there's no meaning for me to be here anymore, everything's so ******* horrible. people, including me and everyone I know, have completely ****** up this world. there's no point for me to live anymore. I don't wanna die, but I don't wanna live anymore. I just don't know what to do, please help.
I'm not depressed, I just don't want to live anymore?
I know it's hard to convince people that I'm not depressed when I say I don't want to live anymore but it is true. The only thing that keeps me around is I feel like I'm going to miss something, I'm scared of the process of dying, and I don't want to hurt my family. If it weren't for these 3 factors I would have offed myself by now. I don't mean it to be morbid like there is something inherently wrong with my life. I'm just tired of life. It's the same thing every single day. Eat, work, sleep, with an occasional day off to do something that isn't even exciting. I'm not one for routine and I feel like life just drones on. I'm so passed all of these distractions that are supposed to pass off as "living life". Sometimes I wish I was like everyone around me that are just so easily distracted. I feel like I've pondered on this for so long now that I've seen through all of it. Everything is just a distraction to reality. Most people go to school to get a career so they can raise a family. This is what it seems like life has taught me. I don't want this life. But without that life I don't see any other point. To aimlessly do a little here and there and then what? I always get advice to "Just have fun!" but they aren't seeing what I'm seeing. Nothing is fun anymore to me anymore. The only thing I really like is listening to music, but, what, am I just supposed to just sit around on this planet and listen to music for the next 50 years?The thought just scares me and death scares me.
I don't want to live anymore. I feel alone and useless. I don't want my family to suffer for me either. What can I do?
Dear Ariel,You do not need to explain.I know this feeling well. I spent 3 years in very deep depression and wanted to die every day. I tried committing suicide once but failed. I felt useless and worthless and totally alone. I still remember what it was like. I know the bottomless pit. I also know how to get out of it and to dissolve the depression once and for all.I strongly recommend you go to my blog at lifesanswers.org and read everything there about depression and how to get rid of it. Do all the practices and suggestions listed there. Do that starting today.Having said that. A couple things that are very important….First, if you die in depression, in the darkness, it will follow you. There is no relief in death. It will actually feel worse and even more real. Plus you will add guilt to the mix. So suicide is really not a good option.Second, you can get rid of the depression and the feelings of uselessness if you commit yourself to it. It will take work on your part by you can do it. You are not alone. There are people who care about you and you should make them a part of your support system.Third, you need to find a good therapist who has experience with depression. Make that person a part of your support system as well.I tell you these things from my experience and the experience of hundreds of other people I have worked with and helped.You can get out of this dark pit, this pain that never seems to end. You can do it. The darkness is lying to you.Remember, you are not alone and you are not worthless no matter what that inner dialog tells you.Take careJon