Im gay and i feel disgusted in myself for being gay..?
All my friends who know seem to think i like them and just make me feel so shitty about myself.I dont feel like other gya/bi/trans people are gay what so ever i just feel disgusted and ashamed in myself and i dont know why.I wish i could be straight.What should i do ? Can i become straight ? And if not whats some ways in feeling better in being gay ? By the way im teenage lesbians whos never even kissed another boy but has kissed two girls and had oral sex with a girl.I never used to feel disgusting about it but now i do ?
Why do I feel dirty and useless after sex?
Ok, some thing i can relate to, I was 16 when I started, I was engaged to same guy at 17, loved sex. we split when i was 18. I started useing sex as a way to make me feel better bout myself, by 20( im not bragging at the age of 22, I have a daughter and regret mydecisions) It wasnt the parenting, iwas raised marriage first then jobs then sex then kids. I was very rebelious.....anyway by 20 i had slept with over 30 men. and even with a condom, i caught herpes. Imagine explaining to my parents who had no idea i was sexualy active why i need to see my gyno. well my fiancee now of 3 years (and yes he knows) loves oral. I feel like a whore andslut I am disgusted with my self after doing it.. I to dont understand why. It didnt phase me in the past. You have respect for your self, thats part of it.
I feel disgusting and "sick" after watching porn?
Ah, I know what your going through. After I watch porn, I feel ashamed of myself as well. You see with me, I need the love that comes along with sex, not just sex itself. The best part about after your done is you can cuddle and put love into a woman and get loved in return. When I masterbait, it feels like emptiness and I still feel the same way before my horny day. I hate horny days, I can't think strait, every women I see is a potential sex partner which always says no or finds an excuse out of it, and I am not looking for love on that day, just sex, and I hate myself afterwards for feeling that way. Just like you I feel the world is a loveless dark place full of fear and rejection and I wish I had a girlfriend so I can progress love into her, and get it back because I feel like I am suffocating without the love. I see everyone around me happily in love and feel left out and desperate which in turn makes me selfishly horny on my horny days which in turn discusts me. You know
I have problem with being disgusted by sex and intimacy and even hearing about them?
I am looking for some insight and not just 'seek therapy' advice. I hope people don't take this as an opportunity to put me down either, but I know some derive pleasure out of doing that....Anyways, I am an older virgin woman who has never dated nor had sex. I am 33 years old. I was not raised in a religious home. Far as I know no one has molested me in my life. I am NOT a lesbian and feel physically attracted to men only. I live alone and do not enjoy socializing. No one has ever asked me on a date my entire life, I asked a young man to the prom many years ago and he said yes otherwise I wouldn't have even had that event. I am learning disabled, but not by much because I been to college. I am on Wellbutrin for depression and anxiety disorder and in counseling for the past 3 or 4 years. The woman is very nice but she probably thinks I'm a loser since she's young as well but beautiful and married to a hot man. But I feel disgusted and sometimes angry about intimacy and sex. I am ashamed to feel this way and tell her because obviously she is going to think it is freakish and I KNOW she cannot relate to anything like this. Online I passed an article about "different sex positions to cause a faster orgasm" and I got disgusted and angry and no idea why people talk about these things and why they are so obsessed with sexual pleasure like they're animals. I hate it when people try and tell me "sex is natural and healthy," again I just get sickened for them saying this. I also hate talk about "intimacy" and "bonding/sharing bodies and being vulnerable with another person." All of it makes me disgusted and feel out of place because I do not see what the 'joy' is in this nor come up with those type of thoughts randomly as other people seem to. Again, I am not trying to insult anyone. I do not have a problem with masturbation and do that regularly. I use online porn to aid me but am disgusted by the thought of actual, real life sex involving myself or real, non porn people. Once and awhile the porn disgusts me too after the masturbating. What can I do? What are my options? Sometimes I think suicide is the only answer for a freak like me who doesn't belong anywhere. If I wasn't a freak a man should've asked me on a date by now like other women my age. TY.
Is it bad to hate yourself?
Self hate, or disgust with yourself, saps your energy, and reduces enjoyment and productivity in your life. When you feel that you hate yourself and 'deserve' bad things then you are, of course, your own worst enemy. Self hate may have arisen because of past conditioning: maybe you were fed negative ideas about yourself from others, maybe people treated you like an object to be used and thrown aside. Perhaps the self hate really originates from another's voice and isn't your own sense of self at all. The dust and grime of years of conditioning may have obscured how you really see yourself. Get a more realistic view of yourself Too much self hate is still too much self regard and self-focus. When you feel more relaxed and better about yourself then you don't have to think about yourself so much and can focus more on other things in life. What a relief! When you give yourself more leeway and begin to show some decency to yourself then you live life more fully and effectively.