Is it inappropriate to attend the funeral of a family member you haven't spoken to for years?
As long as you act appropriately, it's not inappropriate. In fact, it may be a good thing for you and for them.I recently attended my uncle's funeral. There was no tension, but due to circumstances, I spent very little time with my aunt & uncle and my three cousins, so I didn't think it would matter to anyone if I went to the funeral. I waffled about whether to go or not. My wonderful co-workers encouraged me to go, so I did. I figured I would make an appearance at the viewing and stay in the back of the church for the funeral service. I figured that just being there would be good for my dad and his sister. I totally underestimated how much it meant to them. They both were so appreciative that I was there. My father was happy that I was there to represent his family. My aunt was happy that her brother's family came. I was stunned when I wound up in one of the funeral limos and in the front row at the church. I am so grateful that my coworkers urged me to go. Not for me, but for my Dad and his sister. Well, and for me, now. I didn't realize it then.For perspective, the biggest topic of discussion was if my uncle's obit was too effusive. I voted that it rocked, and I told my cousin (who wrote it) and everyone else that I thought so. I also was able to talk to my cousins after more than ten years! They and their families are amazing people!On the other hand, at my great-grandmother's funeral, my great uncle was paranoid when anyone spoke to me (I guess he was worried about his inheritance). He nearly lost his shit when the priest and I had a private discussion (about the funeral arrangements). I went and honored her and ignored him. Her daughter (my grandmother) and I barely tolerate each other. For perspective, the biggest topic of discussion was if motorcycle leathers were appropriate attire. I would say no, but I would also say it was more important that everyone came, no matter what they wore. Every family is different, so who can say in your case but you? I would say, go ahead and be there. It may matter very much to someone else there. It may matter very much to you. Go ahead. But make sure you have your own car and hotel room. If you find yourself wanting to make an elegant exit, you will have the option to thank everyone and slide out gracefully.
Attending a funeral, what makes you decide to go or not?
Is there any way you ought to variety of compromise? in basic terms as my opinion, I do think of he must be there for his brother. If it become a commencement or the different adventure, it could be distinctive, yet this may be a super deal to him, and that i'm having a guess your grandfather could prefer him to be there for his brother. on the compromise section, maximum airways are often prepared to artwork with human beings on bereavement exchange of plans, and in line with possibility he ought to discover a thank you to attend the marriage and then go away in the present day thereafter for Wi. Or, something interior the opposite, the place you will pass to the funeral and then go away precise after for homestead.
Can my employer deny me to attend a funeral?
Some companies have a clause that says employees are allowed immediate time off in the case of death in the immediate family. For some companies this may only cover spouses, children, and parents, for others it cover all of those plus grandparents and 1st aunts/uncles. You would have to look into it. If it means that much to you, I would go regardless, let them know that you are going, if they ask for proof, you may have to give them something...this is normal with a lot of companies, and if they give you any trouble and you truly have been a stand up employee with no former issues, they would be foolish to pull anything as a retaliation. Good luck. Sorry for your loss.
What does it mean when someone does not attend someone's funeral?
Usually yes but there are exceptions. There are issues with distance and timing. Also if one attendance could hurt someone else or cause a fight that has to be factored in too. This is why people can send flowers and cards and make donations in the memory of the deceased. There are perfectly legitimate reasons to miss a funeral. To not go, not send a card or flowers or make some kind of donation or even sign the guest book online - then that would be uncaring and selfish. On the other hand - keep open minds. An introverted socially isolate person may just not have the skills to do this - but may very well be a nervous wreck internally. Be a light not a judge.
Why are some people upset when they weren't invited to someone's funeral?
In the US, you do not need to be invited to go to a funeral. They are usually held at a place of worship or funeral home, and anyone who wishes to can come pay respect to the deceased, and give condolences to the family. Often there is a gathering after the funeral, at someone's home, a church hall or restaurant. This is often by invitation since the family provides some type of refreshments or even a full meal. If someone is upset they were not invited to the luncheon they may feel slighted that the family does not value them and their place in the life of the deceased. But just because someone is upset doesn't mean that they are right. Most families keep the gathering afterwards private to close friends and family. Perhaps the upset person has an unrealistic view of their place in the family of the deceased. I am speculating since you provided no details. In other cases the upset person is justified in their feelings. Sometimes grieving families can get spiteful and exclude a partner or friend of the deceased who really should be part of the services. It is unfortunate when that happens, but rather than making a scene and disrespecting the deceased, they are better off to grieve privately, rather than forcing themselves in where they are not wanted.
Can an employer deny your request to go to a funeral?
I work at a state university in a small office where only 3 of us work. We all know the same crowd of people. A friend of ours passed away a couple of days ago. The supervisor refuses to close the office for an hour to go to the funeral, but says that she will stay at the office this time, but from now on when someone dies that we all know, we will have to take turns going to the funeral. Both me and my coworker think she's full of it. As we both said, no one is going to tell me whose funeral I will or will not attend. If someone I care for dearly dies and it's not my turn, too bad. I don't think so. Wouldn't you think that would be illegal? I know I would quit my job if I really loved someone and my boss told me that I could not go to their funeral. I would think lawsuit. To tell you whose funeral you can or can't go to seems very cruel and unethical. By the way, we're not being paid while we are at the funeral. Anyone ever dealt with this problem before?
Is bereavement time considered vaction time or sick leave time?
There may well be a difference and the best way to find this information is to read your company's employee handbook or policies (which should spell this out). Today, most companies have a general pool of PTO days (personal time off), which employees can take for whatever they need (vacation, sick, etc.) However, some companies give bereavement time off separetely, for instance your company many have a policy that provides paid bereavement time off for immediate family only (i.e. parents, siblings, grandparents). When it comes to extended family, then a company may give you a choice (i.e. unpaid or give you the option of taking vacation time if you want to be paid). If the death is so close and has caused you such emotional distress that it requires a health care provider, then this time may come under sick leave. Some companies keep the bereavement policy open just to allow flexibility for their employees. However, if you frequently need to take bereavement leave (besides being really unlucky), this may lead to an employer being much more stringent on paid time off and they might request you either take unpaid time or vacation pay. Hope this helps - Good luck.
Can an employer ask you for proof of death to take bereavement pay? My mother-in-law just passed. Is this something I can take to Human Resources to resolve? They are not doing a memorial. It was her wish. I refuse to get her death certificate.
Ask HR what documentation is specifically required. An employer can ask for documentation. I think it is a little unusual to ask for it in this situation. If they ask for documentation from everyone, then, yes, you should produce it.You may also want to ensure you understand the specifics of the policy. We allowed UP TO 3 days off. The intent was to allow the person time to go to the funeral. It was not “bereavement” leave (because that could take a lot more time than most leaves allowed).We did additional communication to help people understand our policy specifics because it wasn’t an automatic 3 days off. You took the time that you needed to get to and from the funeral as well as attend the funeral plus the wake, Family meal, etc., after the funeral.Your employer’s policy of asking for proof will make it easier to verify if someone (not you) is misusing the policy. However, it will also inconvenience a lot of honest people (and probably make them angry just as it did you) at a very sensitive time in their lives. Your plant may have a history or culture that requires this, but it’s not a kind policy at a time when sympathy would be more appropriate. If I were the one who had to ask you for proof of a death, i’d want to ensure that you were not surprised by this request and that the “proof” would be something easy to obtain.Bottom line, your employer absolutely has the right to ask for proof in order to excuse the absence. They need to be specific about what is needed as proof. You need to ensure you understand the specifics of the policy so you can comply. You could ask for a copy of the policy and the proof required. I’m sure that the funeral home would be glad to help you get what you need in the least obtrusive way possible.
Is it illegal for an employer to deny me time off to go to my grandmothers funeral?
Hello, Sorry to hear about your loss! You would actually be allowed bereavement days (3-5) depending on company policies, Most companies only allow 3 Days. Check out your Employ handbook Under BEREAVEMENT: most companies tell you it must be Immediate Family which is; Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Grandmother and Grandfather. Despite that it's not required by Federal law, many employers still provide bereavement leave benefits, just as they provide other voluntary benefits to attract and retain employees. The typical bereavement leave benefit is from one to three days off from work. Employers typically pay salaried employees while they're on bereavement leave, but might not pay hourly employees for same. Because providing employee bereavement leave is voluntary for employers, they may set conditions and restrictions. For example, employers may determine for whose funerals employees may take bereavement leave (e.g., for immediate family members only) and whether or not to pay employees for their time off from work. Employers typically document such "rules" in policy manuals that they make available to employees. Many states consider employment-related policy manuals to be binding, implied contracts between employers and their employees. Subsequently, if your employer does provide a bereavement leave benefit per documented policy to the class of employees of which you are a part, then you are likely to be "legally" entitled to take it if you follow the rules. But, by the same token, if you violate your employer's documented bereavement leave policy, then your employer will just as likely have the right to take disciplinary action against you, such as depriving you of bereavement leave pay and even firing you. However, if you challenge your firing in court, the court will consider the whole picture to determine whether or not your employer really had good cause to fire you solely for company policy violation. See a lawyer for more information. Read About Employee Benefits for information regarding avenues of relief, should your employer deprive you of the bereavement leave benefit or any other employee benefit to which you're rightfully entitled by law or documented policy. Hope this is helpful!