Am i a loser because i cant handle rejection from girls? it totally destroys me,i go away into deep depression
No, you're not a loser, nobody likes rejection. Some people are just more sensitive than others. Yes, signs of desperation scares off most people. I often did better when I didn't care about the response, or at least made it seem that way. Also, if you can start off requesting something very quick and easy, like going out for lunch, or even just coffee, that might bring better success. After that, if the impression you from talking to her was good or even neutral, wait until you see some kind of reciprocal interest before you continue to pursue her. And of course, respect a "no", and don't take it personally - certainly there are women out there you wouldn't want to cultivate a relationship with, and think of how much of a drag it'd be if they kept bugging you. Hang in there, you're still young, and as the women around you become older, they'll start thinking more about settling into a LTR, and your success ratio will probably improve. Also, check out the various books and websites that advise people in your situation.
How do you get over rejection?
I know what you mean.. it is so hard to find the roots of the feeling.. I try really hard to dig in to myself, to discover where the sadness stems from over being turned away. I know it is a cliche' but rejection triggers insecurity.. like real childhood insecurity and that is a very good thing to get in touch with.. I mean it isn't very often that a person gets to dig into that old bag of feelings and root around.. You could use this as an opportunity to discover how come you are no longer needing to feel those bad ways about yourself. You could use this girls blind rejection of you to not reject yourself but instead, really find out what she is missing by turning you away. If you discover what you really have going for you, not egowise or externally, but inside of you, you may also realize that she wasn't actually enough for you. I hope you do better with this than I. Just watch out and don't fall prey to her if she suddenly wants you after you get over it all, that is often just an energy game of sorts based on egoic stuff..
Do some men reject beautiful women to boost their egos?
This isn't usually a boost to their ego; it is usually a sign of insecurity. Certain men who are extremely insecure due to some bad experience in their past, or has some type of personality disorder. seem to fear being rejection more than the average person. These individuals are so afraid of rejection that, at the first sign of trouble in the relationship, they will break up with their girlfriend first, before she can break up with him. In this way, they can rationalize to themselves that they had control over the relationship and the breaking up was all her fault. That she was the one with issues and that was why HE ended the relationship. Even if she broke up with him, he might tell his friends HE was the one who broke up with her. He might even be able to convince himself that this was a fact. This is his way of coping with the pain of rejection. If he is feeling boastful, it won't last long because he will eventually realize that he is right back where he started.... without a girlfriend. The insecure feelings will return and he will feel alone and lonely. This type of personality will usually end up alone or in a relationship with someone less desirable because she will be less likely to reject him. If he is desperate enough, he might even settle for less and get marred later in life but, his marriage won't be a happy one. It has been my experience that women, even attractive women, can be insecure and have the same personality disorders. However, they tend to behave differently. They are usually more demanding, jealous, clingy and needy. They would likely be dramatic and argumentative. From what you described about your friends cyberspace contact, who insult woman online, those are known as internet Trolls. They also fit the above description of the extremely insecure male. In this case women do Troll. They are likely someone who is seething with an inner rage because they have no life and/or is a recluse. They are looking for an argument so they can engage someone in an insulting conversation for days.
At what point in constantly getting rejected by woman after woman should you just stop pursuing women altogether?
I’ll post this answer that I previously gave elsewhere.I’m terrible at flirting. I have no game. I get fidgety and nervous around attractive females and have a propensity for mumbling at their breasts. When I try lighthearted banter I say stupid things that embarrass everyone in the room. Low self esteem? Ha!When I hit 25 years old, I had suffered a crippling series of brutal rejections, and I had pretty much resigned myself to a life of loneliness.And then…For no reason, a cousin introduced me to her friend. Her name was Jo. I spoke to her on the phone and cracked a few jokes. She thought I was hilarious. I asked the cousin if Jo was attractive. She told me she was GORGEOUS. I had my doubts, but thought I’d better meet her and see for myself.We met a few weeks later. She WAS gorgeous. She was also funny and kind, and sweet. I didn’t feel awkward around her. I felt relaxed and competent and respected. I asked her out before I knew my mouth was open. It just happened. I usually had to psych myself up for days before I could ask a girl out. We talked without stopping for about six months. She didn’t think I was too skinny, she thought I was sexy. She said she’d never cared for big beefy guys. I had no money. She didn’t care. I had an uncool car. She loved it.That was 20 years ago. She is without reservation the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. She’s still gorgeous and I’m still skinny. She still thinks I’m sexy. We still don’t have any money. She still doesn’t care. I still drive an uncool car. She loves it. We have 4 amazing kids that are the joy of our lives. I had no idea how fulfilling having teenagers could be. I’m serious.I would say you may be trying too hard. The air of desperation on a man is a total buzzkill for most women. Take the pressure off. Try to relax and focus on being the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF that you can be. When you meet the right girl, you’ll know. At least….That’s what happened to me.
Can too much rejection (from girls) make a guy cynical?
Definitely.But, I feel that I should add that the kind of rejection matters as well. A guy that is rejected with respect for his feelings and efforts, or one that manages to maintain a positive attitude for as long as possible, might be able to fight off cynicism for a while… but not forever.Even the most ridiculously optimistic guys, however, will succumb to cynical bitterness after years and years of trying and failing (especially if those failures were the kind that make them feel like a worthless, grotesque freak).Keep in mind, the above only deals with those guys who actually make an effort, take the risk, and accept the outcome, regardless of how cruel or not the rejection may have been. Some guys just don’t do failure, and they make asses of themselves (or worse).As I’ve stated in other answers, my track record with even “nice rejections” is abysmal, despite not being a complete and total mouth-breathing jerkass. I’ve become so cynical and bitter that I’ve completely given up relationships. Done. Kaput. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have someone (to whom I am not related to) actually love me. No amount of weight loss, relocation, change in dress and attitude, etc. has ever yielded anything I could determine to be “positive.” Eventually, a player’s gotta realize that it’s game over, man. Game over.So, yeah, I’m pretty much the poster boy for what happens when a guy faces years upon years of rejection: they become a bitter, cynical nihilist.Which is why I try to use my years of experience in making mistakes and being forced to rebuild after being repeatedly shattered to help others in some small way before they really fuck up and become me.