What do I say to a friend whose father has cancer?
Let’s start with what not to say :OMG. I am feeling so sorry for you!Well, It could have been worse. Its stage two. There are people out there living with mets. (or sth on those lines)Is he like..dying?I know you are sad but you cant just keep crying like this. You have got to be brave!!Learn the difference between sympathy and empathy. Here is a wonderful short video for your help:Never invalidate your friend’s feelings by telling him/her to snap out of them or to be brave.Be present. Be helpful. Be observant.Remember, we are just walking each other home :)
What do I say to a friend that has her dad in a hospital in critical condition?
My wife is a master at providing comfort to people in need. I suck at it because I am afraid of evoking ‘bad thoughts’ that might make the person uncomfortable. I am a dreadful introvert who lets fear get in the way of supporting people. I guess that’s why I married her.She starts by acknowledging the problem specifically, “I heard that your Dad was in the hospital and he was really sick.” Then she says something like “It must be very hard for you and your family to go through this.” Lastly she says something like “I want you to know I am here for you. If you need anything, anything at all, or if you just need someone to talk to just let me know.” It’s very simply and earnestly stated. Then she stands there and is just present for awhile. Her body language communicates the same message as her words.It is interesting to watch people’s reaction. They wait to see if she will go or was just being polite. When she doesn’t go away they lean. Some talk and some hug and some cry but I have yet to see any that were put off or bothered by her sincere offer. “Just be present.” she advises. That is as good an answer as I have ever heard.
If you have to say something critical to a friend, do you think it’s best to just come right out and say it?
I think from my own observation that is seems to me better resuls if some how the person brings up the subject or circumstances that pertaining to what needs to be said. That way I find it stops the perverbial wall from being put up. This has always worked well in my cases.
How should I deal with an extremely critical friend?
If you are irritated or upset by constant criticism, then something needs to change.It may be that your friend is unaware of the impact of their comments. You could try discussing it. A useful technique is to describe the behaviour and give an example, explaining how it makes you feel. Try to avoid saying “you’re very critical” (pots and kettles); rather focus on the behaviour “when you said X, it made me feel like Y”. Perhaps they didn’t realise the effect of their comments and are able to change.However, if they can’t or won’t change, or if they are deliberately putting you down as a way of making themselves feel better, then the relationship may be toxic.It can be very painful to recognise that someone you care about is no longer genuinely a friend. You could try setting boundaries, spending less time together and stepping back for a while in the hope that they will grow and become more self aware. However, sadly, there does come a time when friendships need to end. You don’t have to accept behaviours that make you unhappy.
What do I say when a friend's parent has a serious illness?
One of my best friends told me a couple years ago that he had just found out his mother had stage 4 colon cancer. I was speechless, not knowing exactly what to say other than, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I honestly dont remember the exact words I said (we had a long conversation), I remember just feeling helpless that he was going through this thing that was painful, and I felt guilty that my parents were healthy.Three months later I got a phone call from home. My dad had collapsed and my mom had taken him to the ER, where they found that his entire body was riddled with tumors: stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Now all of a sudden my dad was dying. I talked to my friend and told him the news. He told me that his mom had started treatment and was responding well. My dad was sent home with hospice.A few weeks later my dad died. It's now been a year and a half and my friend’s mom is still alive, but her cancer has come back. My friend lives very far away from me and I get worried when I haven't heard from him in a while, knowing that if his mom were to die that would explain a long absence.What did I want people to say to me when my dad was dying? I wanted to talk about my dad when was he was sick. I felt really lonely, like no one wanted to hear about it (except for 3 close friends who had lost family to cancer). I also really wanted to laugh and talk about normal stuff, but without having to consciously avoid the topic of my dad.So what do I say to my friend now that hes still going through this? I ask him how hes doing, ask how his mom is doing. I ask him what's new in his life and share the regular, funny, boring, interesting stuff we've always talked about. Basically we just talk about what's on our minds, the same way we always have. Our topics of conversation have just grown with our life experiences.
My friend's dad just had a heart attack and is in critical condition. Are there any prayers I can say for him?
Dima, The God who made us all,listens to all our prayers, I assure you. Pray in whatever language you like, simply to God, and ask for mercy, guidance and support for your friend,his father, and yourself as well during this challenge. Tell God why you believe this man has unfinished work here. The God you pray to is as much your own as anyone elses. I have also prayed for the father of your friend, Dima. You are a good friend, and they are both lucky to have you there for them. Very best wishes.
What are some kind words to say to a friend with a sick parent?
Personally, I would perform the surgery than put a band aid to the cancer. Meaning that I would offer advice to my friend, rather than being nice. Since being nice does not solve the problem nor does it prepare your friend for an unexpected crisis.If I was nice I would say:"Don't worry, we are all here for you. You won't go through it alone. I'm here for you, your friend is here for you, and even this person is here for you. You see, we all care about you, we want to see you get through this.”If I was offering advice, I would say:I do not know what to say, nor do I know what to do, but I know neither of us wants pain. I know you are in pain, but I have not been in your situation, so how can I fully empathize? It is not that I do feel pain, quite the contrary, I feel it just like everyone does. We all have wailed, wept, sulked. The pain you feel is from a different source, I can only subside your pain, not eliminate it. You are to be alone in this journey.
A prayer for someone in critical condition??!!?
Prayer is us connecting to and communicating with God. You talk to Him just like you share with us here. I do pray that God intervenes in your friend's life according to His will. I also pray that God grants you peace and the understanding that He knows what's best for what's happening with your friend. Seizures can be caused by many things, and I pray the medical personnel not only keeps your friend safe but knows how to treat him.