Funerals-What is a funeral wake & what do people do at a funeral wake?
The wake is typically before the funeral (the night before) for close friends and family to view and say goodbye to the dead. The funeral has an actual service and burial... Personal, I would like to remember who the person was... I wouldn't want the last memory of them to be in a casket.
What to wear for a funeral and wake? My b/f's dad passed away and It ll be the first time meeting his family?
I'm assuming (hopefully correctly) that you're female? COLOUR Black is always a safe colour for funerals, but you could also go with maroon, aubergine, bottle green or charcoal/grey. As long as it's subdued and modest you'll be fine. STYLE Nothing tight fitting, after all, you're not there to show off your curves! Also avoid anything low cut, cleavage should never be on display at a funeral. Boat neck and pussy bow dresses/tops always look classy and don't show off too much. Similarly, wear something with a modest hemline. Nothing above the knee. If you're concerned your dress might be too short, put on some black leggings or heavy stockings. Here is a nice dress that you could wear. I would team it with heavy black stockings and ballet flats. http://www.osoyou.com/media/images/items... FOOTWEAR * If you're going with heels, don't wear anything higher than 3 inches. * Black is a safe bet. * A pair of clean, plain black ballet flats is alway classy. * No opened toes. * Keep shoes very modest and plain. * Make sure shoes are in good condition. If you're able to polish them, then do so. ACCESSORIES If you are going to wear a short sleeve or strappy dress, a bolero is a nice way to cover up (especially if the service is going to be in a church, as some churches prefer women to keep their shoulders covered). Or a plain black cardigan will do well also. Avoid gaudy costume jewelery. Plain gold or silver is fine. A subtle flower or brooch pinned to your dress/top is always nice. MAKEUP Keep makeup plain. A funeral is no place for red lips or a smoky eye! Hope this has been helpful.
What is the difference between a wake and funeral? (Catholic)?
As MAD said, the funeral (mass) is the celebration of the death of the person. It is not offensive to attend one and not the other. Sometimes timing works better for one and not the other. Funerals have special prayers for the dead person and special blessings, as well as blessings for the "ones left behind." THey follow traditional mass rules. Wakes can be whatever the family wants. Some have rosaries (special prays with bead markers said for a deceased person) or can be rememberances, sharing, praying, etc etc. In the parishes of Louisiana, they have week-long wakes where people dance, sing, have parades, sit around and keep "vigil" (watch) over the body. It was traditional I believe to wait 7 days before burial to let the soul separate from the body. My husband wants a week-long wake and he isn't from LA. Catholics tend not to do eulogies at funeral masses as it detracts from the solemnity of the mass itself. And funeral masses have communion, which is a very important part of any Catholic mass. Culturally, do what you are comfortable with. The wake is a lot less formal if you aren't Catholic. But it doesn't matter which you attend; the family will appreciate your taking the time to think of them in this loss/grief period in their lives.
Should I go to the funeral, wake, neither or both?
A teacher at my school died on October 11th, 2008. He is going to have a wake on Thursday from 4-8pm and a funeral on Friday during the school day (10am). What should I do. Every teacher that worked with him for a while is going. A LOT of sudents are going too. So the school will be practicly empty. I knew Mr. Hershnik pretty well. What should I do? (And if I go to either one I will have to get a rde from my friends mom if she ca go too).
Would you take your 4 and 5 year old to a wake and funeral?
I had many people close to me pass away when I was a child. I used to joke around that I saw the funeral director more then I saw some of my relatives! Then I had friends who had never been to a funeral when they were seniors in high school. When we lost a kid in our school I was able to adapt easier then people who had never experienced death. Explain to your children the situation: "Blank has gone to heaven to be with Jesus. You will not get to see her or talk to her anymore but she will continue to love you and watch over you." Then explain to your children what will happen at the funeral or wake: "Blank will be there but she will look as if she is sleeping and you will not be able to talk to her. Many people will be there and they might be crying because they miss her. It's okay to cry. " Then ask them if they want to go or not. Let them make the decision. They may need to go for closure or they may be okay with not going.
Should small children be taken to viewings/funerals, or should they be left with a sitter?
I took my older son to a viewing when he was about two.As my mom spoke to the widow (a close friend of hers), I stood behind her waiting my turn, with my son in my arms.He could see the body in the casket, and was naturally curious.And, in that wonderful, piercing little kid voice that can carry through the worst hurricane, he asked: Why is that man sleeping in there? Can I sleep in there, too?”I ran out the door with him, leaving all the tearful mourners, including the widow, laughing uproariously. (She thanked me the next time I saw her, for bringing my little ray of sunshine to brighten up a horrible day.)I took Little Mr Sunshine out to the cemetery area so he could stretch his legs. That was the day I learned people deliberately leave things on gravestones. My son came running up to me with all kinds of things he assumed people had lost.That was 20 years ago. He attended a few funerals as a teenager, and I'm pleased to say he was much better behaved.
How do you help an autistic child prepare for a wake or a funeral for his or her grandmother?
You describe to them with precision the way other people will act, and explain to them appropriate responses, explain what they mean, explain what other people might be feeling. Be explicit. Be honest. Let them know that it’s ok for them to feel whatever it is they will be feeling too.Everything else is just allowing yourself to be compassionate with them, as you would with anyone.The event might be too long, too new, and too public for them however. If they have meltdowns in general, be aware that this could be very stressful to them, regardless of closeness they had to the deceased. So prepare yourself for that possibility. Make sure there’s a place for them to go to that’s safe, quiet, alone if needed.
What do you want your funeral to be like?
I'm skint, so it'll be a Pauper's funeral for me. I'll probably be found in my flat, fused to my bed, a semi skeleton, only discovered because the stench of my rotting cadaver has pissed off one of my neighbours in the grungey tower block that I live in.The neighbour'd probably be Malcolm, the gay Frank Sidebottom look-a-like who lives above me, and who I regularly get to hear being buggered.From there it'd be inquest time, and the County Coroner saying something like, “Yes, the deeply sad Welfare scrounger Mr Jones died as a result of eating too many Jaffa Cakes and drinking too much full fat milk. His arteries were clogged to fuck, and that's about the long, the tall and the short of it.”After a couple of weeks they'd probably put an advertisement in the Manchester Evening News. “Lonely sad bastard died in his grotty flat. He has no family and financially is as fucked as Boris Becker. He'll be getting cremated on the twelth of Never at Agecroft Cemetery. If anyone wants to pay their respects, it would be much appreciated.”Come the day it'd be pissing down, and the sky'd be grey. There'd probably be about three or four people there; an old man and his dog, and a couple of dossers who mistakenly thought the advert in the local paper for the funeral service would include a wake, with some free cider and food.Frank Sidebottom. The man was a legend, and bears an uncanny likeness to my upstairs neighbour.
What should I wear to my friends funeral?
Of course, to a funeral, you don't want to wear like striking colors, but also you don't have to look bland. You don't have to wear black, but do't wear something that is screaming bright colors. Grey, navy blue, even red. Keep it subtle though. Or, if there was an outfit your late friend particularly liked, try wearing that. or, if you feel like its too much, tone it down a bit. Or, just wear one piece of that outfit. Say, if the outfit was dark blue jeans and a red shirt, it would be fine to wear to the funeral. But, if it was light-wash jeans with distress in them and a hot pink top, then just wear some of her favroite jewelry. Dresses look classy and nice. I wore a grey dress to my friend's mom's funeral, and a different grey dress to my grandparents funeral. Hops this helped... Sorry about your friend- I do know how hard that can be.
What would you want people to say at your funeral?
I want three things in my eulogy: positivism, humour, and acknowledgement.Hope was a caring person. She loved without boundaries, even when others might have given up. In fact she cared so much, that she cared so much that she diagnosed everyone she met, in attempt to fix problems they didn't know they had. [Laughter.] This meant she was the first one to realise her grandmother was going dement, which gave us all some kind of understanding.Whether you knew her when she was a curious and creative child, when she was a sad and troubled teenager, or when she grew up and regained her happiness and life forces, you know she knew what she wanted, although not always how to get it. She was inquisitive to no end, curious about the world and its people, and searched long and hard for answers. She was determined, some might even say stubborn, but she used it to take responsibility for herself and her life. She was sad for a long time, but put in so much hard labour to get better. She wanted to be happy, and everyone who stood in her way best prepare to be trampled down. She was passionate, and held on to that, even when it was hard. Whether it was cakes, writing, painting, designing, or travelling, she got right back up on the horse again, every single time things didn't go her way. We'll remember her smile, acknowledge her struggles, and miss her words. We hope she'll find the peace she has been searching for so long.Something like that. I don't know who should give this speech, but I hope whomever speaks mean what they say.Update:I read some of the other answers and realised it didn't have to be an eulogy. So here are some passing comments I'd like at my funeral:I still have the birthday card she painted me seven years agoDidn’t anyone tell her family she wanted Fake Your Death to be played?I know she didn't want to me to come here, but she was the best lay I ever had, and I needed to say goodbyeShit, I just realised this will mean she won't write another book/quora answerWouldn’t it have been more fitting to give her a viking’s funeral insteadI’ll miss you, mumI should've bought her those earrings she wanted, why didn't I?Whomever picked her outfit clearly hated her, everyone knows she wanted to be buried in her pink silk dressNow who will bake for me?Christmas will be so empty this yearAt least she died knowing she was loved