21 year old with strict (Haitian) parents?
I am sorry to hear about your difficulty. It sounds like you are in some emotional distress. Prayer is good for the soul, but if you need to, TAKE POSITIVE ACTIONS! It is hard to accept, but sometimes the only person that can help you is yourself. Best of Luck.
21 years old with VERY VERY strict Haitian parents, HELP!?
This is a very odd situation . I just turned 21 a couple days ago and I am still having restrictions at home. Through out my whole teenage life. I was never given the opportunity to go out with friends to the movies, have sleep over, go any school events, have friends over or even go over a friends house. I never went to home coming or did anything teenage related. I have a very strict Haitian mother who I don't see eye to eye with. She doesn't allow me to do ANYTHING. She gets mad when I'm on the phone and even when I'm texting. My mother is very attached to me and she doesn't want me to have anyone else in my life. When I try to go out, she gets very upset and starts yelling at me along with my step father and starts saying negative things like something bad might happen blah blah blah. She feels as if I have to tell her everything I do and it's ******* frustration because I am an adult. I told her I'm 21 now and am and allowed to make my own decisions I want to leave idk what to do
21 year old with Strict parents?
I'd basically like to know your thoughts, experiences, advice from a parent's as well as child's/adult's point of view. My mom heavily restricts the time I can be out of the house with my boyfriend. She believes it best I be home before dark, she called me the other day and told me to come home with her reasoning that it was already 7:30 pm. She basically doesn't like the fact that I have a bf. We've been together for 5 years, he's a very responsible and loving person, he goes to school, has a job, and respects me AND my parents. Of course he doesn't like the fact that my parents are this way but he know's he cannot argue with them and respects their ways. I'm not trying to change my parents. I know I'm probably going to just deal with them until I can support myself. I'm home for the summer, but I live in an apt with friends during the school year. However, I don't have a job and my parents pay for school. I'm focusing on studying and an internship like they want me to.
How can I deal with extremely strict parents as a 24 year old?
From your answer below, I have some suggestions for how you can loosen the rules a little bit but stil maintain the positive relationship that you want with your family.Next time you have plans to go out and your mother says that you're too tired, respond with, “Actually, I feel great. I'll see you when I get back.”Walk quickly to the door and leave before you can get sucked into an argument with her. Act normal and happy, like nothing is wrong. If you're unable to leave quickly and she says something like, “I'm your mother and if I say you're too tired than you're too tired!” Maintain your positive vibe and say, “What a funny thing to say!” Then walk away.If she tells you to do a specific chore, just say, “I'm not going to do that right now.” Read Herman Melville’s Bartlby the Scrivner for tips.If she says “I thought I taught you to respect your elders!” Say “I do respect my elders.”If she says, “you're not respecting me right now.” Say, ”Why do you say that?”If she says, “respecting someone means doing what they tell you to do,” say, “so if you told me to jump off a bridge, I should do it?” Make ample use of the laughing and walking away technique. It always you to seem like you're joking and it makes your response not seem rude.Your mother has trained you into a specific kind of relationship with her. She has learned she can guilt and bully you into doing what she wants. You can retrain her, but you will need to resist the feeling of “guilt” that she has trained you to feel. She will be confused that her old tactics aren't working, and will try even harder to control you, but you need to resist. That won't be easy, but you need to gain some independence, for your own sanity. Respond to her with compassion, good humor, and patience, but do not explain yourself, get upset, or give in. Good luck.
My parents are too controlling?
If you don't like the living conditions, move out. They won't change, so you'll have to.