How do I get my Mom to let me see my Dad this year at the holidays

Mom won't let me see my Dad and Dad won't take her to court over it. How do I stop feeling so sad that I don't have a Dad anymore?

This is a really sticky situation that's hard for me to even suggest what's right or what's wrong. All I can give is my viewpoint, which may or may not be wrong.

There are a few sides to this that I see could be possible scenarios.

1. Your mother is very bitter about something your father said or did, or didn't say or didn't do, and instead of just putting on her big-girl panties and moving on, she's being one of those women who will use their own children as weapons against their father. Her self-esteem and insecurities are affecting a lot of people's lives, and if she truly cared about you all, she would not have you missing out on having a father. There are so many kids in this world already who don't have that.

2. Maybe your mother knows more about your father than you do. Kids don't always know everything. Maybe he really did something terribly wrong, or she knows he's a very productive father that you should be around according to your safety.

3. A father would fight for his kids no matter what. The fact that he isn't doing that kind of concerns me. He wouldn't just tell you to waste four years of life without seeing him until you're 18. No, a father is going to want to try to be in every day of his kids' lives. So, the fact that he was just pushing you off like also speaks volume, as if he just accepts that he can't see you and is putting all the power in your mother's hands. I wonder if he likes to be spared of taking care and raising you and your siblings. Lots of men fear this responsibility as well.

4. Or, another way to look at #3 is that since courts and procedures typically favor the mother, he may feel powerless. The least he can do is hire a lawyer, get some advice, or document all the incidences where your mother is preventing you from seeing him.

I would not pressure your father any longer as I'm sure this is already hard on him as it is. He may not have the money and resources to take your mother to court. Just because a classmate told you about this other dad who won his kids over, does not mean the same outcome could occur for your dad. both are separate occurrences with many differences.

How can I get my Mom to let me see my Dad who she divorced?

My Dad wont take her to court for visits saying he calls and she won't let him. He could take her to court someone on here told me but he wont saying he doesn't want to fight her. Right now he sees me one day a year.

My mother says he doesn't love me but he says he does. They divorced when I was 8 and I am 13 now and want to have a Dad and I feel like I dont. My mother says he chooses not to love us but then he says in his emails he loves us. He wont take her to court though (if thats even true that he can). I want a Dad like my cousins have. My mother says he doesn;t love me but he says he does and acts like it when he sees us on Fathers Day (the only day he sees us).

It ruins Christmas because I always hope he'll see us and then my Mom won't let him come when he calls. He lives about an hour away, maybe more with traffic. My mom is remarried but step-Dad doesnt count even though my mom says Roger, my step-Dad, is my Dad now. It is not the same as a real Dad even though Roger is nice.

So how can I get her to let me see my Dad? He isn't bad, he just was lazy to her when married so she divorced him. But she says he doesnt love us or he'd have been better when married. He doesnt do drugs or hit or anything bad like that.

How do I get my Mom to let me see my Dad this year at the holidays?

what my dad's side of the family did (because there were so many divorces) - is the SUNDAY before Christmas everyone would get together and celebrate Christmas together

what you can do is enlist one of your dad's family members that your mom doesn't hate (grandma, grandpa, cousin, aunt) to call and ask if its ok that she pick you up on Sunday from 1 to 4 pm so you can celebrate Christmas with your dad's side of the family - how could she possibly refuse since it would not conflict with Christmas or Christmas eve?

What you can do is look your mom in the eye next time she tries parental alienation and say this:
Mom, I am getting older now and I understand what parental alienation is and I understand what you are doing and I wish you would stop putting me in the middle of your battles - I would never let dad talk about you like that and I'd appreciate you keeping your personal opinions about my father to yourself = and then as nicely as possible say - don't you love both of your parents mom? why can't I?

My mom won't let me see my dad?

I don't know how old you are. But there should be a custody agreement between them saying when your Dad is allowed to see you. If they never went to court to get one drawn up then I guess they are just playing it loosely between each other. No matter what, you should be talking to your Dad about this since you say you two are close. You must tell him what is going on and what she is saying to you. Tell him how you feel the way you told us. This should be for them to work out and you should not be made a football in the middle of their game. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. :( As you can see, there are even grown-ups that still act like kids. And depending on your age, (you might be moving out on your own soon?) you might want to reconsider moving with your Dad if you and your Mom seem to be at each others throats all the time. But also remember that there will be times when you and your Dad will argue too. Things always seem to look greener on the other side when they are not always. We always seem to argue with the ones that we live with. That's just the way it is.

My parents won't let me do anything like go outside, hang with my friends, or anything?

OK well it looks like your dad has had some traumatic event in his life, or is very overly protected. Your mom is very dependent on your dad because she calls him, even though they're not living together.
Not only could that be the reason but what your culture is could be as well, many different cultures have different views so it depends on that as well.
My family does somewhat of what mine does, but not to your extent. I couldn't go out with boyfriends or friends without my brother. Noticing i could not go out and have friends, i started to talk to my mom alone.
I told her about my friends, and how nice, loving, fun they are. I did not bring up the issue about going out with them yet. Later after she practically knew who my friends were, I started to tell her that i wanted to go out with my friends, and since she already kind of knew she was more opening, and not as dependent on my dad. Because of this she would actuallly help me convince my dad! So what im trying to tell you is, talk to your mom and tell her about your friends, what you do, interesting stories (everything positive of course), and after some time when she knows who you're hanging out with, she'll be more open to you going out with them because she almost knows them.
Now this is just my opinion, but i think it should work.
Later you can start asking for curfews, and so on.


If that doesn't work, talk to her about how this is ruining your life, and how much of a traumatic event this could have on your life.


It's all about your parents LEARNING to trust you, iknow you think they should already know to trust you, but many parents are very over protective you should put yourself in their position, and see what you would like to hear as a parent, and do it yourself.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

How do I get my Mom to let me see my Dad and his family at Christmas next year?

What's in the divorce agreement? Didn't they determine visitation when the divorce was settled? Tell her exactly what you're telling us. It's horrific parenting for one parent to try to alienate the other from the child(ren). It will only make you resent her for damaging the relationship you might have with the other parent, that most definitely loves you. It depends on your age and how far your dad lives. Maybe you can compromise and spend Christmas Eve with one and Christmas Day with the other or at least New Year's with the one you don't get to see on Christmas. Your mother may not realizing she is doing this and may legitimately believe she's protecting you. But it's up to you to decide whether you want (or don't want) a relationship with your father and she doesn't get to unilaterally make that decision for you.

How might I convince my Mom to let me see my Dad this winter at Christmas?

I am 15 and old enough to see him and my grandparents said they will take me so I will feel comfortable and not be alone with him. He has alcoholism and my mother says he chose that and if he wanted to have a relationship with me then he wouldn't drink. I have studied alcoholism and it is a disease and not something you can just stop (though I know rehab is a good choice to make). She insists he doesn't love me and that his family doesn't want a relationship with us but his parents reach out and his nephew just friended me on Facebook. My mother insults them daily to me. I am always so sad about it.

So how do I convince her this Christmas (I know it is only July) or even before to let me see him? My cousin who friended me said he sees my father each Christmas at our grandparents so if he is allowed to I think I should be. My Mom lets me see her brother who is an alcoholic so I don't get why I can't see my own Dad other then my Mom using me to get him back. I sometimes hate my Mom for doing this to me. My sisters don't care but I do (I am a 15 year old boy).

How do I get my Dad to let me see his family this Christmas?

He usually doesn't let me cause he is so afraid of my Mom being mad. She refuses to see them cause her Mom, my maternal grandmother, gets mad when we see family other then hers. Also my Mom feels like an outsider in my Dad's family cause his family thought he was too young to get married when they got married. He was 22 and is 41 now. I am 16.

I feel really bad like someone else described on her being the only grandkid not their along with my siblings. But my Dad's family lives one our away and my Dad is afraid of making my Mom mad by making her Mom (my maternal grandmother) mad who my Mom fears all the time.I only have 3 cousins on my Mom's side and they are all much older.

How can I convince my parents to let me see my dad again?

This is really not fair for you kids. Write your parents a letter (this way you will have their attention). Tell them in the letter that you love and respect them both but they are hurting you kids by not allowing you to see your father. Tell them that you feel that you kids are being punished for something you didn't do and that the lost time with your father can never be regained. Tell them that you feel what they are doing is unfair and that because they are forcing this upon you , you are all hurting and missing your father very much. Tell them that they went back on their word when they said if he apologized that they would allow you kids to see him again. Tell them that he did apologize and because it was by email, they refuse to accept his apology. Tell them that you don't want to hurt or offend either of them in anyway, but that you feel this is too painful for you and your siblings to not speak out what you feel and that you love them, but you want to see your father. Tell them that they are breaking your heart and the hearts of the other kids. Seal the letter in an envelope and put their names on it and leave it on their pillow before you go to bed or hand it to them right before you leave for school. This way it will give them time to think about all the things you have said. Also, end your letter with asking them to take the time to think this over and to please give you and your siblings back the visatation with your father. One more thing, does your father give your mother childsupport payments? If so, they cannot legally keep you and your siblings (brothers and sisters) from seeing your father and he can show the police the court papers that allow him visitation rights and they will escort him to your house to pick you kids up. I know this because my friend had it happen to her.

My daughter will not let me see my grandson?

Im sorry for your situation, i understand that this must cause great pain..

You frequently refer to your daughters son as 'my' grandson - however please try to remember that first and foremost this is her CHILD. Your daughter holds the cards here, as you do not have any rights to see this child - her letting you see him every week was wonderful of her to do, however it was a privilege for you, not a right.

parents don't just cut off innocent people ... i feel that maybe you are lying to yourself a little bit by portraying yourself as the victim, or at a minimum level ignoring your own actions and wrongdoings within this situation. You will probably disagree, however by acknowledging your errors, your daughter will be much more inclined to let you back into her, and her child's life.

Perhaps write her a letter, telling her you understand your wrongdoings, and explain to her that you simply want to be involved in your grandchilds, and more importantly HER life! If you write it down, you can be neutral and not say things you dont mean in the heat of the moment, plus she is more likely to read a letter than answer the phone

... maybe you could use the upcoming new year as a springboard - tell her its a new year, and you hope it will be a new start.

i know my advice is not what you want to hear - however you have to be the adult and take the first steps if you want access to this child again... getting upset and angry will not work in your favour im afraid...

Best of luck, and i hope you get this resolved before the holidays!