How to control my sexual compulsion for dead horses

How do I control my compulsive sexual desires which are making my life uneasy?

Anything you want to come out of it, just start practicing opposite of it.

To come out of sex follow/read/watch more devotional books, TV, video, audio, so on.

Another option is practice more body workout or yoga. Your interest will be diverted to other areas, automatically you stop thinking about sex.

Remember, any nonsense or madness come if person not occupied, if you are occupied on work, art, dance, anything, those crazy thoughts go out of your reach.

That is the reason during weekends many murder, rape, fighting, stealing, so on happen. Compared to working days. If people occupied they don't have time to think on cragyness.

Many people don't how to handle aloneness, that is the greatest cause to all, in this case meditation will be helpful.

Thanks

Vishnu

Why is hyper-sexuality a behavior of persons who have been sexually abused?

First of all, as someone else said: hypersexuality is just as likely as hyposexuality. You just don’t notice hyposexuality so much because, well, they’re busy not having sex.

The latest in what I’ve read - I’m not trained in psychology or sociology, I’ve just taken some classes and read a lot - the prevailing theory is that the mind is trying to repair that trauma. Our minds - and society - are super effective at caveman-type stuff - see tiger? Kill it with fire or run like hell! Dealing with trauma? …not so much.

The best thing our brains can think of natively is basically a redo - get in the same situation but have that situation go differently. Having just experienced trauma isn’t the best time to get involved with anyone new (and communication and sex are, from what I’ve discovered through the years, fucking rare), so this redo is almost invariably traumatizing as well - the problem didn’t get solved, now it’s being compounded. So the brain goes back to its original hypothesis: if I could just do this over and get it right, I’ll be healed. So… another sexual encounter, another trauma, lather, rinse, repeat.

The more interesting thing - and what the psychological community knows next to nothing about - is how people who tend to traumatize others find the traumatized and why that is. There are actual pedophiles desperately seeking treatment because they don’t want to hurt anyone, and the majority of the time (if they’re not straight up told, “we can’t help you”) the solution is “don’t molest anyone,” which is an ill-conceived solution if I’ve ever heard one.

Is desire a choice or a compulsion?

It's all about how you perceive life and the circumstances.

The Wiki Article says:

Desire is a sense of longing or hoping for a person, object, or outcome. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as "craving". When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal. The motivational aspect of desire has long been noted by philosophers; Thomas Hobbes (1588–1679) asserted that human desire is the fundamental motivation of all human action.

In a simple way, Desires are spontaneous; it's one of the fundamental human instincts. They may be deliberate or otherwise(sudden desires of food cravings etc.).
Choices are what we make knowingly, more or less. I say this because most of the times we are very much aware of the choices we make, and accept them, irrespective of the consequences they have on our lives but sometimes, we are aware of our choices, but unwilling to accept. Choices involve decision-making and explores what it means to act rationally.
For instance, The Choice theory involves selecting one or more items from a menu.
It is explored in four contexts: that of certainty, where all items are definite; that of uncertainty, where items involve chance, either with or without given probabilities; that of strategy, where two persons' individual choices are interdependent; and that of group choice, where a number of people must choose collectively.

Let's come to Compulsions:

Desires and Compulsions, both are same qualitatively but quantitatively different.
Compulsion is a strong desire which cannot be mitigated easily. Your instincts (unconscious mind) are 9/10th of you and your conscious mind is 1/10th.
Desires especially sex, food, and social if repressed for long ends up in compulsions of various sorts.

( You can read Sigmund Freud to understand how mental disorders originates through subjugation)

Summing up, desires are definitely not choices but yes, they have the risk of culminating into compulsions, if not taken care of.

This is what I have understood so far. I hope you find this helpful :)

Does OCD makes people asexual?

It can take away your sex drive, your libido. But it as soon as your OCD symptoms become less, your sex drive comes back.

Take a look at my new website about: OCD and Intrusive Thoughts.

My main goal is to provide information based on what I’ve learned as a lifelong sufferer myself, aswell as personal stories and hopefully help other people that are going through the same as I did and give them simple, but helpful understanding about OCD and Intrusive thoughts. To create a place where people, who suffer from OCD and Intrusive Thoughts on a daily basis, can find a way to live with them, find answers and more importantly understanding.

Please that the website is stil new and i’m trying to update the website site each day, also I am not a licensed psychologist or specialist.
 
 Do subcribe to my website and let me in time, show you how you can beat OCD by befriending it.
 
 View my profile page and you’ll find the link there.

Grief and Loss: What can I do about my sexual longing for my deceased wife?

I was widowed when I was 32. Wild horses couldn't have taken me away from my husband before he died. He was my world.

I completely understand longing for your wife sexually. After my husband died I missed him in every way. It's so painful to have the biggest part of your life yanked away from you, isn't it? And you probably never thought, in your initial grief, that this would effect you sexually.

But here you are, still yearning for her.

Firstly, do NOT feel guilty for visiting memories of past lovemaking with her. You love her. You are not dishonoring her in any way by remembering those precious times. Guilt like this is so harmful to your psychological well being but it happens to us widows/widowers.

You're a fairly new widower and the first year is the worst. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Everything EVERYTHING reminds you of your love. It's brutal, I know.

To answer your question, though- and I'm going to answer this right out in the public for everyone to read- A month or so after my husband died I began having intercourse with a friend. It was more for the human touch than anything else. Initially I felt absolutely horrible about it. I felt so guilty, like I'd cheated on Eric. I'd gone to get birth control from my doctor and I started crying when I told her what I was there for.  I was a mess.

I decided to use masturbation instead of the friend. It didn't work. Touching myself just felt wrong. I needed someone else to focus on while attempting to reach orgasm.

We all need to be touched. We all need to feel loved. We all need sex.

I started dating someone about six months after he died. I absolutely knew that my husband would not have wanted me to remain alone. He was a jealous man but he was kind hearted. He would have never wanted me to suffer in any way.

It took awhile, though. I won't lie to you. It takes time to feel like anything is even kind of okay and normal again.

My suggestion: masturbation. That's a given. Or, and I'm trying to say this as gently and understandingly as possible- find someone to start having sex with again. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend or anything. It'll take a long time for everything to be just right again.

It'll all work out in the end. I promise. Be patient.

How do serial killers get a sexual release from killing?

Because they have a case of extreme sexual sadism going on.

Pain and pleasure are closely linked in the brain, and in serial killers the wires have crossed and they have related sexual pleasure with the infliction of pain, perhaps this is due to them being abused at the time when their sexual development was happening, or they have been exposed to sexual violence at an early age and have linked pain with pleasure.

Also serial killers have a tremendous lack of empathy, and are also likely to be personality disordered, and at times may possess neurological conditions that alter their perception and empathy including autism, psychopathy, and possibly even brain injury.

Any way how sexual sadism works is all down to the responses people give when in pain, the reactions they have.

The screaming, the facial expressions, the squirming etc, are very much like how people react when engaging in sexual intercourse, and as the wires are crossed in sadists these reactions provide them sexual pleasure.

I am a sexual sadist my self, and when I imagine the pain and terror a person would be experiencing in a situation like being tortured, I begin to experience arousal, due to imagining the pain I am inflicting on them cognitively, but I am not emotionally invested.

So this is likely the reason why serial killers are addicted to killing, and get sexual release, because it is the equivalent to sexual intercourse for them.

Some sexual sadists can only experience sexual arousal from harming others, there’s always a degree of severity, its like a spectrum, some are fine with a compliant partner and that is enough for them to simply whip a person, others are only satisfied when its a non compliant person and these are the types that commit crimes, as they do not want someone to enjoy the pain they inflict, they want the fear and pain to be unwanted, also some sadists can not experience sexual arousal from pleasure, but this is only in the extreme cases, luckily for me I can experience arousal both from giving pleasure and inflicting pain.

So sexual sadistic serial killers are likely to be at the severe end of the sadism spectrum, who can only truly get off from harming non compliant people.

How much masturbation is too much?

Excessive masturbation is when it hurts. Your genitals are sore, you used up your energy that could and should have been put to more constructive uses, you’d rather masturbate than work, study, spend time with family and friends, engage in a hobby, or eat. It becomes compulsive. One little tingle, and off you go. I know; as a teenager, that was me. I could have done a whole lot more and had a lot more to show for myself, if I masturbated less and actually learned useful things that could have helped me in life. This is with the idea that masturbation isn’t a “sin” or “evil” or harmful; it’s with the idea that it is excessive when you do it instead of something better out of pure compulsion and habit and not because of any sexual tension or desire. In other words, it isn’t even fun or sexual at that point. When I did it 15 times in one day, part of me had some weird sense of accomplishment, and another part of me was saying, really? That wasn’t even fun. It’s supposed to be fun, not painful or harmful or a waste of time and energy. A person should find the right frequency suitable for them, not too much, not too little. They shouldn’t be uncomfortable with high sexual tension that needs to be released, or uncomfortable with sore genitals and missed opportunities to do useful or constructive things.

What behaviours does a tense person have?

Everyone can be tense from time to time do to external factors like stress from employment so on....such as life. But are some behaviors you my find in them:
Depression
Unable to focus
Cannot make decision always swaying back and forth
Unable to stop moving their limbs (tapping foot tapping fingers so on)
Muscles tense
Frowning
Brow crinkles (big indicator somethings on their mind)
They are very serious
nail-biting
compulsive eating
 smoking
drinking
talking loudly
blaming or swearing

All of these are indicators of someone being overly stressed and depressed!
Hope this helps...Cheers! =)