Why do families fall apart after the grandparents die

Why do a lot of people tend to fall apart with their parents with time?

Dan's answer is very relevant and right on in that often our parents generation held very different (& Wrong!  :>} ) values. One of theirs was that "father knows best" and it was so often a ludicrous farce.

From a psych. perspective, the falling apart you describe is called differentiation. It is the normal and essential role of the offspring to grow to adulthood in all aspects. So it's just the way of life. Sadly, since many parents don't understand this, they don't handle it well. Also, sadly, when we are young adults we also do not understand it; thus the falling apart often necessitates that a painful and explosive confrontation must happen. That is how it was with my father, and he died without the rift having been healed. Healing it, and reclaiming my dad, had to be done solo. This is not easy, but is well worth it! But, if one's parent is alive, healing can happen in most cases; not all.

Why did the American-Soviet alliance fall apart so quickly following World War II?

There was never a formal alliance and the two countries never fought side by side. They simply had a common enemy in Germany. You must also that the Soviets plotted the invasion of Poland with Germany in September 1939. Both countries invaded Poland in that month and that was the start of WW2. The Soviets remained on Germany's side until June 1941 when Germany made an unprovoked attack on them.

There was a mutual dislike and distrust between the two countries and when the US dropped the atom bombs on Japan, it scared Stalin and this started the greatest arms race in the history of the world. This, in turn, caused the Cold War and the breakdown of relations that you mentioned.

Why does death tear families apart?

Hi Maggie, There are a lot of issues here.

First, people are afraid of death. It's unknown, and the survivors' reactions to it might be as if the loved one was abducted or something. Your Mom is all right. She no longer feels pain, fear, anger, cold or anything else physical or negative. I personally believe there is something more, and that it's not frightening, because of an experience I had after my Dad died.

Second, some family members might change their nature because of resentments. Maybe they didn't get to see Mom and say goodbye, and that haunts them. Maybe something she left behind went to one relative and not the other, and there is some jealously. If there are these kinds of feelings, when they arise think, "Would Mom want me to feel this way?" No. She would want you to continue with your life and be happy.

All you can do to help your other family members is to be as pleasant and helpful as possible. Love them unconditionally and accept their mistakes. If someone is extremely difficult, give them space. Hopefully they will come around in time.

I am sorry for your loss. Try to be happy.

Is it common for a family to fall apart after a death?

yes some people do have a special aurora around them they just seem to attract family members to them and they all have fun and suddenly when that person is gone there is no more get tog-ether's it is strange too but it might not just be her passing you said there was a divorce it could be a string of circumstances or everyone just getting older their jobs their marriages keeping them busy and they don't want to bother having get togethers anymore it is very sad this has happened to me to but that is life and you have to make your own friends relatives let you down in life too sadly we live in a very different world these days people don't seem to be as close and loving as you see how many people get on this site all having problems with families and friends they have lost and feeling lonely but it is a fact of life and I guess we have to toughen up and make our own happiness with our own families or friends but you have to get out there and make friends join a club or sport do something different outside of your circle and bring on a new adventure and bright new faces to your life seek and ye shall find sorry for your loss she must have been a wonderful person Hugs from granny M x

If you dream repeatedly of your parents/siblings/friends/relatives death, what does that mean? What can you do to make these dreams go away?

Dreams are inexplicable sometimes.
The conscious and subconscious mind constructs some visualizations based on the past and present life of yours and the way you want to see it in future, in your thoughts. Whatever you see in the dreams may or may not have any relation to reality, however various studies give various theories for the kind of dreams you possess and various reasons for it!
The things that happen all throughout the day and few overlapped memories influence your dreams, sometimes its purely random and sometimes based on the things you were doing and thinking just before going to the bed.

However i read the following possibilities of such dreams in an article i read somewhere.
If you find yourself talking to a dead in your dreams, this indicates that you are surrounded by people who are not compatible with you and this compatibility issue is causing a negative effect on your personality. This also symbolizes some kind of material loss and you need to get recovered from that loss as early as possible.
Dreams are an indication of what we are thinking. If you are constantly seeing a person who is recently died, this means that you miss that person and he had left some impact on your mind. It also indicates that you are adapting the problems similar to that of the person you are seeing in your dreams.
Usually you use dreams as a channel to talk to those people who are gone such as parents. The fear of losing a person also leads you to this path. These dreams may also mean that you are trying to understand their death.
Seeing dead siblings indicates that you miss the fun and time spent with them. You select dreams for reliving those experiences.
Parents who have lost their child in any incident dream of that child might mean that they want to keep their child through their thoughts and want to see him grow up in their dreams.
If you see a person dying who is already dead, then this is an indication that you miss that person on some special occasion which is related to that person such as birthday, anniversary, etc.

Why did Alexander the Great's Empire fall after his death?

because he died young and suddenly...either overcelebrating or poisoned (more likely). their was no heir, apparent or otherwise
as a result his subordinates fought between themselves and quickly divided the empire into insignificant states
a pity as Macedonia as head of a Greek empire may have started us on a better path
There is no doubt Alexander was a unique personage, he had the physical and mental capacities to be not only a military commander but expert cavalryman...capacities inherited from his father. And he benefitted too from that father's wisdom, obtaining the finest tutor available for Alexander, so that he carried with him in his conquests all the brilliant mental tools and knowledge of the best ancient Greek tradition.
Macedonia was a barbaric country of wild horseman before Philip pulled it together, there was no tradition there of civilisation and organization as in Rome.

Why do women begin to fall apart at age 40?

iam 29 and dated a 43 year old. Older men are more possessive and have experienced more life. They normally have children around your age. If you two are secure enough even with the age difference than cool. But at that age you can deal with health issues like diabetes or even high cholestrol. Do you mind tending to a man that might die in the next 20 years. If so, have a blast. But botttom line is you have to deal with so.. but the flip side is stabilty(hopefully). He should be well established, home, career, etc... and if he is not, than run like hell cause he'll leach off your credit and success.

Why Is My Life Falling Apart?

Everyone has problems. your life isnt falling apart. There are others who have it worse, they dont even complain.

My Dad Left Me When I was Born...I am 16 and He Called Me Today
So, he contacted you, go through with it or dont. make a decision

My Uncle Died On Monday.
People die, its sad, mourn, move on.

My Great Grandparents Died Yesterday.
See above.

My Mom is Going Threw a Divorce.
Okay, how does that affect you? you arent divorcing anyone. Move on.

My Best Friend Has Cancer
Enjoy him/her while you have em. When they die, see above advice.

My Self Esteem Has Gone Down Tremendously
Millions of people have the same. seek help or put up with it. Nothing will get fixed if you sit around complaining. Yahoo answers will not fix your self esteem or anything.

And I Like a Guy That Obviously Doesnt Feel The Same At all.
Not everyone likes you, chances are most hate you. Deal with it.

I Cant Handle All The Pressure.
Yes you can, stop bitching.

My Life Is Slowly Falling Apart and i Dont Know How to Stop it.
Take the advice or stop whining.

i Just Dont know...
I gave you advice, now you know.

and for all our sake, stop capitalizing every word. Take a grammar class.

Fix things yourself or stop complaining

Why are elderly people no longer looked after by their family, but are put in old age homes or somewhere else?

I think most “elderly” people stay in their own homes, and pursue their own interests as long as they physically and mentally can. They do not want to be a burden on their families because they lived through having to care for their parents, and have experienced how exhausting and financially challenging it is.

During the decades of their 60s and 70s, they are still usually physically and mentally active. They travel, care for their own home, pursue their hobbies, spend time with family and grandkids, participate in their community, etc., etc.

My mother did this all through her 70s, 80s, and then oops… came the 90s. She was doing so well that we all expected her to go on living in her own home until she passed away quietly in her sleep. How naive can you be? She started having issues with her balance, started to fall, and finally fell and broke 3 ribs. She spent 6 weeks in rehab, and was released home to me. Since I actually live 2,000 miles away (a life choice I made 45 years ago), I was unable to care for her indefinitely. We tried 24/7 home care, but that was too expensive to maintain indefinitely. Besides, Mom’s mental abilities were declining and she was overwhelmed with all the bills she had to pay. So, I found the best nursing home in the area, and convinced her, with the help of social workers and nurses, to enter the facility.

Her health and mental abilities and alertness improved a bit, but physically she is/was bedridden. She’s receiving much better care than she could possibly receive at home. The facility has the equipment and staff needed to keep her safe and comfortable. I handle the finances, and my brother, who lives closer, checks on the house and visits her once a month. I fly down when I can to see her and take care of some things. It’s the best we can do.

And, think about it, when an old person is in their 90s, their children are in their 60s and 70s, still active with their own commitments, but not necessarily able to take on the level of extensive care needed.

So, please don’t judge. We all do the best we can.

Does death change family dynamics for good?

Your situation, is not unique in any way. Many families drift apart after a beloved family member passes away. Family is very important in our lives & when there are riffs, it is hurtful & makes us feel so alone. My advice to you, is to be the peacemaker in the family. Make it a point to be in touch with your sister & father on a regular basis. Start out slowly & call your father & sister once a week. Make it a pleasant call, telling each one, that you were thinking of them that day & wanted to say hello. Neither may be very receptive at first, but don't give up. Talk about things of interests & that means, not mentioning their behavior since your mom passed away. I'm very sorry for your loss. If your sister has anger issues, be patient with her & hopefully, she'll open up to you about her feelings. The same goes for your father as well. He's still trying to cope with the loss of his wife/your mom. If they had a great marriage, he is no doubt feeling so empty & alone. Perhaps that's why he doesn't call you. Try your best to bridge the gap in your family & see what happens. Give it your best, especially if you don't feel as though you're making any progress. These things take time. Two years have gone by since your mom passed, creating the gap/emptiness. Your sister & you may never know that closeness again, but it's worth trying to at least be on speaking terms. Tell your sister you love her each time you two hang up. If she doesn't say those three words back to you, don't let it get you down. She may tell you in time. As for your father, stay in touch with him & visit him often, if you live nearby. If not, stay in touch with him. If the opportunity arises, treat your dad to lunch on a regular basis. If you're able to visit him from time to time, do so, & perhaps you can fix a meal to take to him. You have a lot to deal with, but it'll all be worth it in the end, if the three of you can get closer. If you have no success in being the peacemaker, it's okay. At least you tryed & you can feel good about that. All the best to you!