Why do people want kids but when they do have them they are tired of them

Why do people want kids when they require so much time and money?

I personally did not care at all to pass down my genes, there's nothing special about them, unless you value curly hair and a big nose a lot.

For me, the main reason to have children (adopted ones would have been just fine, but mine are my biological children) is to have another reason to feel happy and alive, to extend your circle of loved ones, and to watch yourself be the protagonist of the greatest life experiment you can ever run: that of raising children into happy, healthy human beings, who as they grow will teach you so much about yourself and about many things that you would never have learned had they not been in your life.  Learning that it's not about you anymore, is a great life lesson.  One of the greatest lessons in life is that nothing in life is more important than the relationship you develop with other humans. 

Raising children is a big challenge, possibly the biggest challenge of all. And the most amazing thing is, the challenge loves you back!

Having said that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with people not wanting to become parents or people not enjoying the company of children.  Becoming a parent is something one should do because one wants to, not because society expects it of us, or because it is somehow important to leave a genetic legacy.

Why do people have kids when they don't want to raise them?

There are lots of reasons:

Some people's circumstances might have changed since they decided to have a baby. There was a story in the news about a single mother who had shaken her baby to death, and it seemed like a clear case of someone just not ready for motherhood, who thought she could do it all, but as more of the story came out, it turned out she had a plan to raise the baby with her mother to help her, and the three of them would live together, then her mother suddenly died when the baby was two months old. So, she had to plan and pay for a funeral, all the while taking care of the baby on her own, and when the dust settled, was still alone, raising the baby, and wondering how she would go back to work, because her mother was supposed to be her daycare.

The father was nowhere to be found, and she couldn't afford a lawyer.

One day, she was playing a game on the computer while the baby slept. She was very sleep-deprived herself, and worried, and finally thought she had about an hour to herself, when the baby work up suddenly, and began screaming. So she shook him. He hit his head (not her intention) and killed him. She'll probably be in prison for the rest of  her life.

Women who are married can be suddenly widowed, and were, when we were ar war. Women were widowed by 911 too. Some had children, and some were pregnant.

So, your status can change. Your plan to raise the child in a loving partnership suddenly becomes you, single parent.

Then there are people who become accidentally pregnant, and don't want an abortion. I know a woman whose state was so restrictive, it didn't allow abortion after 12 weeks. Few women who are unintentionally pregnant know by 12 weeks. So her plan was adoption. She informed the father, but he refused. He also refused to raise the baby himself. He wants her to raise it, and occasionally visit in on birthdays and Christmas. She felt a responsibility to the baby, and so has kept it, but is trying to get his rights terminated. It's getting too late to relinquish the child, but if she marries she might want to ask the stepfather to adopt.

Why do people get to the point in their life when they want to have their own families? Is that what humans are hardwired to do? Or is it the right thing to do or the convenient thing to do?

I'm married recently and I've been living with my husband for 3 years. I love to have my own family, my own home my own privacy. In my parents house there was always anxiety about making the bills, always in struggle with every day life. Me and my mother never could have a discussion without fights. I dreamt of making my own home full of love and respect.

After I found the love of my life I wanted a better more loving atmosphere for myself. It's also convenient and financially efficient. Two salaries for one household instead of having to pay everything myself. Then we can do so many nice things together like going on holidays, spending evenings at IKEA redecorating our home making future plans. If you are alone all these would be boring. I have single friends who spend their holiday in their apartment because it's not fun to anywhere alone. Last but not least, you have the intimacy you need available all the time.

So having a partner/family covers most of your basic needs such as food, bills, sex, intimacy, human contact but also helps you develop as a person.

Why do people waste time on things that do not benefit them?

Simply because more often than not, things that do not benefit them are easy and/or pleasurable to do.

Have you ever tried wasting your time by lifting heavy rocks? Have you ever tried wasting time by running a 10km marathon? Writing novels? Those things aren’t particularly easy or pleasurable to do.

How about watching cat videos on YouTube? Playing games on a PlayStation console? Beating your meat? These are easy to do and require little to no mental effort to do.

It is natural for humans to want to do simple, pleasurable tasks. It is also essential because these tasks are good for de-stressing and are sometimes important for your mental health. It only becomes a problem when these tasks take up valuable time (and energy) which could be spent doing other productive tasks.

How does this happen?

People don’t waste time because they want to, they do so because they’re used to doing it. Wasting time is a result of a habit which builds up over time.

If you work for 8 hours and play computer games for 1 hour as a way to relax everyday, you may be tempted to extend that 1 hour play-time by 10 minutes. If you allow yourself to go add that 10 minutes, you’ll soon find yourself adding 15 minutes, 30 minutes and eventually an hour or two. Before you know it, you’ll be spending 9 hours a day playing computer games.

What happened is you have gradually weakened your discipline. You’ve built a habit of wasting time. What you need to do is resist the urge to add that first 15 minutes of game-time. Guess what happens when you do that? You’re actually enforcing another positive habit, that is, you are training yourself to stay disciplined. You are gradually making it easier for yourself to resist the urge to waste time.

Are people still subject to emptiness even though they have children?

Yes! Absolutely. Raising children might keep you busy and at bay from the thoughts of emptiness but it isn't a permanent fix. You have to try to be your best self to assume the responsibility of a child. As many people will tell you it's no cake walk. Some days it's smooth sailing and on others(I wouldn't be over selling if I say MOST) it will definitely be a struggle. You have to be ready for both. If you think children would fill a void you will most certainly attach unrealistic expectations to your child and he/she will have to constantly try to live up to it to spare you the disappointment which is not healthy for you or your child.

Try and pin point why you have this emptiness in the first place and try to fix that. It isn't a problem without a solution though you might feel like that at the time. Children are not a magic fix. They should be allowed to depend on us instead of us depending on them to make us happy. I urge you to not place the burden of making you feel better on your child.