Friends with benefits gone wrong,help?
I hope you do not take offense hon,but there is nothing you can do.You offered yourself to him as a free whore,expect to be treated like one.Your "feelings" mean sh-t to him.I am not trying to be insulting to you, but what do people in general call girls who are doing what you are doing?If you do not care what they say, then you would not be upset by what I said. I am not trying to be mean or insulting I am giving you a rude awakening,because if you end up pregnant you are on your own.The ONLY one who gets "benefitted" in a relationship like this is the one who is in it for sex and NOTHING more! He sees YOU and this other girl as free whores,sex toys, things to use for sex at HIS convenience and NOTHING MORE! NOTHING MORE! NOTHING MORE! It does not matter how you feel,he does not CARE about your feelings and he made that clear when he offered to use you for sex and YOU AGREED TO IT! Now you can continue on the road you are on, or get some dignity and self respect by saying"I was a fool to do this and I am NOT doing this ANY MORE!"Thenno more sex until you are married hon.Otherwise your looking at getting pregnant and dumped by this guy,maybe talked into an abortion and getting a fatal STD in the end. THAT is ALL you wil get out of this relationship hon is screwed and nothing more. NOTHING MORE! Lastly, this guy owes you NOTHING,you volunteered for this pain and it is yours to bare.However JESUS loves you and has a plan and purpose for your life,and does not want to treat you like a human sex toy,but love you as HIS own daughter!Please stop doing these things before you get really messed up hon.Get into church and seek the LORD, and in time,HE will bless you with a good man who will love and adore you.The United Pentecostal churches are good try one of them.
Does my friend want to be friends with benefits or get back together?
We broke up about a month ago because she needed space and time to concentrate on getting a scholarship for volleyball. We agreed to get back together after vball season and it seems like its gonna work out that way. But the thing is she went through about a one week period of just completely ignoring me and saying she was over me. But now shes started to be her old self again and loves being around me. Yesterday a very strange situation came up and it seemed to bother her a lot. My last ex, not this one, called me saying she was pregnant and wanted me back. I asked my ex what she thought and she didnt say either way what i should do but im pretty sure she wanted me to say no. So i did. Today during school we ended up bringing up the subject of sex which we havent talked about much. She told me shes been with 6 guys, shes 17. And i told her ive been with 5 girls, im 18. She keeps talking about it but says shes just realy into it. Im not sure if shes hinting at something here or just trying to get a better gauge on me. She doesnt care where i touch her or anything but so far we havent gone farther than making out and touching above the clothes. Does she want me to try something with her or is she just talking about it for no reason? And i didnt get the girl pregnant, i havent been with any girl since i found the one im with now, i love her and noone else. Does she want me because she loves me all over again or because she wants to be friends with benefits?
Should i be friends with benefits with my ex boyfriend?
me and him went out in february for about two weeks, but we both feel in love with each other. we decided to break it off as his ex girlfriend started to get involved in our relationship, begging him to go back out with him. He said he didn't like her and we continued to be friends, like best friends, then about a month later he said he didn't like me which broke my heart. He then went back out with his ex girlfriend which was horrible for me so i stopped talking to him and refused to be friends with him since he got back with her and just left me. About two months after that he began to beg me to be friends with him, i said i didn't want to since he was with her and he kept asking. WE started to hang out on the weekends and he saw less and less of her. I went wrong his house and we kissed then and he said how he still had feelings for me and never got over them he dumped her the next day. We started to talk more, sexual and stuff then he said he didn't want to lead me on to believe we could have a relationship because he doesn't want another one, as his ex treated him like **** and he couldn't trust anyone, he said he trusted me to some extent but he does not wanna mess anything up or hurt me. So i agreed we stay friends. About a week later he invited me to a party which is coming up soon. He said there will be sex games and drinks so i said okay maybe il go, he then suggested we do stuff at the party. Like be friends with benefits. I haven't given him an answer yet because im afraid of the aftermath. I wanna do it with him because we are both virgins and already done all the touching with each other when we was together. WE are extremely comfortable with one another. I don't know whether i should get with him just in case i fall for him again, but i want it and don't at the same time.. Help? :/ xx
You need to get a grip. Your jealousy is ruining your relationship and making you miserable.You should not be asking yourself how YOU deal with it. All the stuff you mentioned happened in the past and happened to your girlfriend, not to you. If she is not having any issues with any of it, you should not either. These are her feelings to process, not yours.Your girlfriend had to know that whenever you sleep with someone right away, it does not guarantee that person will develop emotional feelings. She knew the risk she was taking, and if she did not know then, she learned. She might have been naive, but I suspect she knew what she was doing.Every sexual encounter she had was consensual (unless she told you otherwise). She went looking for these guys. You make it sound like these guys used your girlfriend for pleasure but she got absolutely no pleasure herself. I’m betting she enjoyed it as well, and you know what? THAT IS OKAY. Women are sexual beings too. She might have been disappointed or hurt when those guys did not want a relationship, but she got over it.The whole friends with benefits thing puzzles me as well, but it’s not for me to judge, nor for you. Your girlfriend is not with these guys. She’s with you. She has shared her past with you not so you can go defend her honor or whatever but because she wants you to know all about her.By the way, there is no such thing as a slut. We live in a free society. People—this includes women, in case you forgot—have sexual needs and desires. Sometimes they go looking to fulfill those desires. Some have many needs, some have none, some have a moderate amount. None of us has any right to judge the amount of sexual satisfaction anyone needs OR how they go about getting it, as long as no crimes are committed and all people involved in sexual acts are consenting adult humans.You should be dancing for joy that your girlfriend likes sex so much. You speak of how much sex you have and how great it is. If she didn’t like sex, your life would be much different.Forget about these guys. Who cares? They have moved on, your girlfriend has moved on, now YOU need to move on. Enjoy the relationship you have with her, because if you ruin it with this jealousy of men who aren’t even in the picture now, it will be gone forever.You may want to consider counseling if you keep obsessing about this.
My Childhood friend and I became friends with benefits and now I need help?
That's why I looked for this question just to make sure someone out there was actually having the same dilemma. Currently, I am in, I guess, a friends with benefits thing. I cant really assure because I now have feelings for this guy which is so random. But besides this, I''ve had my friends with benefits before and I dont regret any of it. The story about that was, he was my best friend. A guy who relied on. My feelings. My day-to-day activities, he knows. He was always sweet and would ALWAYS make time for me. Call me a slut or whatever but we didnt know we would like each other in a way couples do because unfortunately he was already in a relationship. Him and his girlfriend were about on their 5 years? But she left the country so I was there for him. He confided in me and so we built this sort of relationship. It was sweet because he would ALWAYS want to see me. And yes eventually we hooked up. I was only 18 then and he was 22. Worse case scenario I admitted that I have fallen in love with him. And he said he has too. But he couldnt leave his gf for me. Obviously. But even then I agreed. I got hurt knowing that I couldnt have him. I got over him. This FWB guy I have right now is another story. Apparently, he was my childhood friend. Our age gap is 8 years. Lol. But Im 24 now and hes 32. His sister was actually my classmate in grade school while he was still in his junior year. He still remembered how me and her sister would run around and play and I would shout her name. He would laugh at me. Just this year, for no reason, he decided to be friends with me. But since the beginning of the conversation, flirtation already existed. Like we would be vulgar with words or descriptions of what we want to do with each other. And just after a 11 months did i give into well "dealing with him". The main thing here is we never cleared if we are just friends with benefits or just a typical one night stand because weve already done it twice, or saw each other twice. Im not guna lie. he is good in bed. But WTF are we? Yes. I have feelings for him now which shouldnt be there. But like I said,, im 24 now. He is 32, stable and almost ready for a family. And i believe i can be his best candidate. But....i guess im just being cray...right?
Friends with benefits?
hey, me and my ex of 4 months (not too long) broke up 6 weeks ago. not really spoken in that time but met up this week and chatted and ended up kissing for hours, same thing happened today! we sort of agreed on a friends with benefits status. my problem is although i dont really love this girl, i would still get hurt if she hooked up with another guy :( she says she wont, that she is not interested but cant be in a relationship with me or anyone else because she is going traveling in a month and wants to be single. she said its not so that she can go out and get with boys, but so she doesnt have anyone to worry about and no responsibility to make sure she calls/emails everyday! i understand that but i want some sort of commitment to exclusivity. what should i do/say?
Going anonymous for obvious reason.I was once in this situation with an ex of mine. Now dont get me wrong, we both agreed to it.He was actually my healthiest relationship to date. We broke up due to the same reason you had.Two months after we broke up, he texted me and the first thing he said was “I feel like I'm losing my best friend.”So we started hanging out. We talked about our feelings and decided what's passed should remain in the past. But we both realised we have sexual desires that need to be satisfied.At that time, I had started seeing another guy and this guy is a womanizer. My self esteem was really low and I couldnt find the courage to break away from him. Jumping in bed with my ex actually does me a lot of good because he builds up my self esteem again. He taught me a lot when it comes to relationships and made me realise just because I'm feeling low, doesnt mean I have to settle for less.Granted, it wasnt the best for both of us. We slept with each other for close to two months before I decided I have to face the music and find my own way. I discussed with him about our situation and he agreed that we couldn't reignite our passion but that doesnt mean we are not gonna be good friends. So I ended the physical relationship between us and started on a new chapter as close friends with him.Then I dumped the other guy. I come clean to him that if he didnt want to clean up his acts, so am I leaving. So I left when he refused. Not a win win situation but that's the best I could do.When me and ex decided to cut off our physical relationship, we both grew from the experience. I realised there are men who would want the best for me and there are men who will be my downfall. My ex is the kind of man who would want the best for me. He sees me through my hardest years and stick to my side even when we're not a couple anymore (we have stop sleeping with each other at this point). For that, I'm grateful.It comes down to how you deal with the situation. For me, the best thing that ever happened was to sleep with my ex and realised there are men who cares for me.
“What does it mean to be friends with benefits?”Mutual gratification.Friends with benefits is where friends transcend another level in their friendship to give each other sexual gratification without the usual expectations of a romantic relationship.I had a friend with benefits when I met my wife. My friend was a single mom and artist, who came to me as a shiatsu volunteer. We became friends and she complained how men and relationships sucked away the energy she needed for her art and her daughter.However, people still have needs. Since I wasn’t seeing anyone at that time, we made a deal that we’d go out on the town on the weekends when her daughter was with her ex (the daughter’s biological father). We also agreed to mention to the other if we developed romantic feelings (not that I was at risk, because I’m not in the habit making emotional bonds with people), so we could renegotiate our relationship if necessary.The biggest difference between a lover and a friend with benefits, for me, was the sex. Whereas you tend to be careful expressing your wishes to a lover, you can be forthright or even brutally honest with a friend about your predilections, i.e. “This is how I like my oral sex”, or “Can you pull my hair during anal?”. Friends accept each other as they are, instead of lovers trying to get their partners to change to their ideal.I was friends with my wife for nine months before we became lovers. During that time I had my friend with benefits and we were good friends together. My FWB noticed the growing attraction, so she wasn’t surprised when I told her that I wanted to end the ‘with benefits’ part of our friendship. She did profess that her fondness of me had blossomed in more passionate desire, but she knew that I didn’t feel that way about her.We’re still friends, although she moved from Amsterdam to another part of the country.Friendships with benefits can work just fine, but only if you are truly friends first, so you can discuss issues if your feelings for each other change. If you’re the jealous/possessive type, you won’t be able to be friends with benefits.
Friends with benefits. I want to end it, he says no...... Does he actually have feelings for me?
I've been in the FWB thing with this guy I like for about 3 months or so. I want to end it because I feel like I am starting to develop feelings OH NO!!! Last week we were talking on the phone, then later he texts me that he fell in love with me. I don't believe that. We both stated in the beginning that we don't want a relationship as we both are afraid of something serious. Now all of a sudden he wants to do things like go to the movies, meet me for lunch, not that I mind, but it confuses things for me. I care for him a great deal, but I know how these FWB things end, and I'm not trying to get hurt. This week I told him that I didn't want to receive any more texts from him, nor do I want to hear from him again. He responded back with a text that said "I'm not going to stop talking to you! I like you too much, so you can forget that! Besides, I refuse to let anyone else have you!, This is different!" I agreed to meet him for lunch early next week, but I am inclined to try to end it again, because I don't know if this is some kind of game, or does he really have feelings for me. WHAT DO YOU THINK?? Help please...
I’ve had fwb with few women of different backgrounds. Not once I asked hey, I want to be friends with benefits. According to me the discussion immediately after the first sex shapes up the relationship. I generally make it very clear that I’m not looking for a girlfriend without making the girl feel slutty. This generally sets the tone. Women who are emotionally into you will stop seeing post this (most of them).Also the skill lies in selecting the correct women. They shouldn’t be too close to you or complete strangers.I’ve had few such fwb and these are how they went. Not including the details of the make out like some other answers as this is not erotica.The Chinese girl who was my senior during undergraduation. I didnt have to do anything. Even before the first time making out, she explicitly told me this is a fling and she is not serious. We were at it for 18 months.Polish girl who was in a long distance relationship already. We shared a same place for rental and it was natural. I screwed up in the morning discussion after sex as I was still new in the game. I said I love you by mistake. She said she was not ready yet. Later I slowly ignored her and had to vacate the place.American woman from work. We were in the same team and had to travel to various cities. Once went to a hot spring together and made out later that night. My head was so clear that I told her next morning that the sex was great and I’d like to continue without getting emotionally involved. She was taken aback by bluntness but agreed later. Next one year was awesome till I moved out.Indian girl from fitness classes. She was my instructor and I was impressed by her flexibility. This was the only time I had a pre make out talk. I proposed for a physical relationship. She rejected at that instant but was professional. Few months later we both had some solitude and made out. However the girl was confused about the being fwb. She wanted the cuddles, sweet talks one day and next time it was purely physical. After few months I stopped out as the girl was turning serious.