I feel like I need a good male/father figure in my life?
I think what you're doing is looking a little too deeply into this, I'm really sorry your dad died but you can't spend your time looking for an older guy to talk to, if you feel a friendship with someone it just comes naturally so if you like these teachers then tell them before you grad that you don't want to fall out of touch and you think they're cool people. People your age are more important and as long as you don't create a 'mutual disappointment in men', to coin a psycho-analytical phrase, then you're doing a lot better than many other fatherless daughters, a father figure provides a model of all men you are going to meet, or so is the current 'in' theory, as long as you haven't based these on jerks and therefore hate all men then you don't 'need' a guy, but I would advise talking to / keeping in contact with these teachers because male teachers are amazing banter, in my school at least and I'm DEFINITELY not losing contact with these guys. My current 'project' is a woman who hates everyone, but men especially, for no reason! Over the last 2 years I have proven to her that guys are good, and she actually acknowledges me not only as not a terrible person, but as a friend!!! As long as you are psychologically sound, or at least as sound as any other of the crazy people on this earth, you'll be fine, just remember guys are equally as awesome as girls ; ) h
I need a good male figure in my life?
You had two sets of grandparents, isn't one of your grandfathers around? You also have a guidance counselor at school - there's another possibility. And your teachers? It does not have to be a male teacher to talk to. In fact, some of the most observant, knowledgeable people you could learn from about this topic are older women - after all, they've been dealing with us jackasses all their lives. I'd be careful about approaching a male clergyman about the issue - but his wife or a female clergyperson might be a good resource. Most male clergy are NOT trained in dealing with such questions, and in fact we've seen far too many news items about the astonishing number of clergymen busted for sexually abusing young people. As you grow older, you'll have opportunity to interact with more and more guys your age. Girls your own age will be doing it too, and will be more than eager to share their experiences and observations with you when you're away from the guys. Just don't take it into your head that you must have serious boy/girl relationship right away. You're not a failure if you're not in a serious relationship by your twenties and certainly not a failure if you hit 21 and are still a virgin. Don't get in what us older guys call an "all-fired hurry". There's still plenty of time...
Never had a father figure. what should i do?
First of all, I'm very sorry that your father left you, and worse yet with the void it created! Now, I'm a Psychology major in my junior year of a pretty respectable school, so I might be able to lend some help, but I am NOT a savior, ok? There might be two ways to fix the problem at hand. One way would be to fill that void with a father figure. Ideally a male that is older than yourself. A professor, teacher, boss at work, someone in your neighborhood. Someone that shares some of your interests, that way you two can actually bond. Then you can branch out to more serious life subjects from there. Second would be to fill the void yourself. You might need to take charge of your emotions and adapt. This would take time, but it can be done. You would have to rely upon yourself. You can learn to take charge yourself, and you might think so now, but you do not need a male figure to help run your life. My opinion would be to try the first suggestion. It's the most stable option. Hope this helps!
Am I gay? Or Do I need a Father Figure?
I've been conflicted with this, for quite some time. I'm 100% honest when I say that I am sexually attracted to both sexes. (Or perhaps that means that I'm able to get sexually aroused to both sexes.) But it seems that the men whom I'm attracted to usually are the ones who could dominate, usually the bigger guys in stature and in mentality... Which is... different because in my every day life, I'm usually the one dominating relationships in terms of friends and my ex Girl friends. Even in Women, The kind of girls that I'm most attracted to are the girls who take charge, the ones who are in your face and well educated... So I don't really understand my sexuality. I can't identify it. I feel like I'm hitting 'puberty' way slower than most. I'm 19 and I can't decide, or even identify myself in that regard. Can anybody help me out? The question pretty much means... am I sexually attracted to those kinds of guys? Or am I attracted to the idea of a father figure who can put me in check? Like is that what I'm lacking in my life? Do I need that in order to for fill something?
Other things are never equal. There are many qualities I would want in a set of parents. Being of different sexes might make the list, but it would be way down on the list. It does add certain conveniences to the rearing of children, if only for the mundane physical things: Men will, on average, know a lot more about male issues and women will know more about female issues - things like menarche, wet dreams, shaving and so on. But those are mere conveniences. You can find answers to these questions on the net, or from friends or relatives. Children don't need parents who are chromosomally mismatched. Children need love, hugs, rules, exceptions to rules, love, patience, discipline, consideration, love, tenderness, food, shelter, clothing, love .... oh, and some more love.One key difference between gay/lesbian couples and hetero couples is that the former have to really want children. There are a lot of ways that same sex couples can have children, but none of them involve someone forgetting a condom or not being on the pill or getting drunk and screwing. Of course, many children who were "surprises" got all the things children need; and some of the kids who were planned got short changed. But if I had to place a bet, I'd say that couples who want to have kids wind up as better parents (on average) than parents who don't. And parents who love and respect each other are also more likely to have kids who do well. It's not what's between your legs or in your bed that matters. It's what's between your ears and in your heart.
No 1 your kids see every thing you do and say and attitude you have and they will follow it . To the t Kids learn by example . Little girls will follow your example crosse her t” an dote her i”s you have to decide what kind of people you want them to be them you have to be that person , you can not fake it they will see through it will brand you a hipocrit had they will be right, they would never Call you that but they will not trust you.I would not worry about Lincoln be who you are. Take them bird waching . Snow ball fight , leave fight , play ground , regularly, and let them se how much you love your wife. On of the biggest mistakes dad's mistakes is when their child is have problems in school they tell them study harder , now not they have to deal with the priblem they have to deal with their dad which just made it harder. Instead you should get o their side and help them now it is 2 against one against the problem. Picynics kids love them.
Not neccesarily. I had a father in my life, albeit he was a workaholic and a womanizer, constantly cheating on my mother. My mother was an abuser and took her anger at him out on me, as I was the only boy.I vowed, at a young age, I would never be like my father. Besides, my parents were my adopted parents. Should they have ever had children or been allowed to adopt children? That would be NO. By today’s standards, CPS would have taken us away, but in the 1960’s & 70’s nothing was done.I, and many others who grew up with absent fathers or abandoned fathers, we knew how that felt and we become/became very supportive fathers to our children. If theyd did not have children, then they gave to those who need a father or big brother to be that role model.I was always there for my kids. When my son went into sport, football, I may not have made it for the kick-off, but I was there for the game. When my daughter was interested in things, I was there for her. When she had a child out of wedlock, she could not care for him, it was her mother and I who took him. I still have him, even though my wife has died. I am adopting him. This grandson is deaf and autistic. I went back to college to learn how to work with him. I am there for him as much as I can be.No, the traits of the father do not have to pass to the children. In many cases, it does just the opposite.
Do growing young men need a father figure / male role model or is this a sexist concept?
No this is not a sexist concept this is a anthropological necessity. Boys don't need a father figure in order to be a success man, but there needs to be some sort of male influence involved in his development. I feel exactly the same regarding having a strong female influence on the boys life as he grows up. Most important, they need to work together and be willing to defer to the others expertise at times. I think sometimes it is best to have multiple males and multiple females so if that one role model was no longer around for one reason or another, the boy takes comfort knowing there are many people who can step up and assume more responsibility if necessary. Having my dad and my Grandpa around me all the time growing up, I learned invaluable lessons that have shaped me into the man I am now. Similarly, having my mom around, my sister and both grandmas influencing me growing up, was hugely beneficial and still is. My friends who had brothers seemed to be more comfortable with other guys in every scenario. It was like they knew how to be a guy better than I did at every stage of development. Having a younger male role model like a older brothers, male cousins or younger uncles helps boys identify with someone who has grown up in the same society as you and can offer insight into what behaviors are acceptable and which ones should be avoided. Dads give great advice, but they can't relate to what their sons deal with today. Sorry I rambled on but that is my view on this. Hope this helps.
I don't think a boy needs a father in the home to learn how to respect a woman but I do think he needs to have a mother who won't allow herself to be treated with disrespect and he learns that disrespecting women is not accepted. I was a single mom for a lot of my son's life and I taught him how to cook and take care of himself because I didn't want any woman coming to me later saying I spoiled my boy and now he expected the woman to cater to him. I also didn't want him getting married too soon just because he needed a woman to "do for him" and always told him if I ever saw him abuse a woman he would have me to deal with. She has to teach him how to treat women by how she allows herself to be treated.I also taught my son empathy, in all areas of life, to think about how it feels for other people. How would you feel if someone treated you that way? It certainly helps to have some strong male role model to follow because a mom cannot be a dad but that is not always possible. My son is 31 and a wonderful father and treats women with respect and is a very loving and supportive son who has never been afraid to show affection in front of his buddies but is every bit a man. I could not be more proud of the man he has become.