Kinship/ Foster/ Adoption Question?
It sounds as if you may be dealing with the foster care system. Usually, when people refer to kinship care, they are referring to placing a child in the home of a family member and sometimes even a close friend (e.g., god parent) who is like family to the child. Kinship adoption refers to adoption by a family member which is one of the preferred permanency plans after reunification. Regular foster care means that a child is placed in a foster home that has been licensed by the state/agency. Meaning the foster family has gone through the requirements like attending classes, submitting to fingerprints and completing a criminal background check, etc. And, of course, if the foster parent choose to adopt, then that would be considered regular adoption - adoption by a non-relative. Usually, kinship care providers do not receive foster care stipends but they may be eligible for flex funds. Also, kinship care providers may take classes to become regular foster care parents by going through the process outlined by the agency/state.
Adoption question: Has anyone adopted through foster care?
We have adopted 8 from foster care...two sibling sets. We choose to adopt from foster care vs private because we wanted to give kids a home that actually needed a home, we also wanted to keep siblings together. We waited 8 months to be matched with my group of three older kids (15,16 & 18 at the time) & once we reopened our home we waited about 4 weeks before a case worker in another part of the state found us for the 5 pack.
What questions should be discussed when considering adoption?
Thank you for the A2A. I am going to make this a “Greatest Hits” answer by listing some question that should be discussed when considering adoption, and including links to answers I have previously written relevant to these questions.Can we unconditionally love and commit to a potentially troubled child not biologically related to us? | What happens if you adopt a child but then you have second thoughts about it?Can we be sufficiently emotionally supportive of an older adopted child? | Does the science of childhood development suggest adopting an older child would lead to less bonding with the parents than would happen w/ an infant?Can we accept the lack of support from our close friends and extended family in our commitment to this child? | How can someone who isn't in a place to foster or adopt support a family who is fostering or adopting?How will we impact the birth order dynamics with our biological children (if any)? | What challenges would you face when adopting two children between ages 6 and 10, when you have biological children between ages 6 and 10?How can we help our biological children (if any) adjust to their new sibling? | What is it like to adopt a child when you have your own biological child?How do I approach an adoptive child’s inevtiable desire to see his/her birth parents again one day? | How do adoptive parents feel when the child wants to meet the birth parents? | What happens when the child given up for adoption lives with the biological mom later in life?Do we want to adopt from domestic foster care, private domestic adoption, or international adoption? | Is it fair that foster adoption is so much less expensive than other forms of adoption?How will we approach the fact of the child’s adoption with the child? | Let’s say that I adopt a child and plan on never letting them know they were adopted. How difficult would it be to hide the truth from her/him? | | What did you tell your adopted child?What don’t we know about adoption? | What are some controversies about adoption?
Adoption/Foster. What do you call your foster kids?
I don't like to say "my" or "our" because it could give the wrong impression to the kid. Some kids are desperate for attention and love and if you start using possessive words such as "my" and "our" the child might think that the relationship is more permanent than it is. I do use a lot of endearments though. It is just how I speak. So, I will say, "sweetheart, will you set the table" or "cutie pie time to wake up" I think it makes them feel special but without an implied permanency. When I am out and about, if I meet someone, I will just introduce them as "my friend." "This is my friend, Alex" etc. Most people who know me know that they are foster kids but it is not said. At one time though, I do think one of the cashiers at Dillon's thought I was a pedophile because I had all these kids who were my friends. :) So, I guess that might be a drawback for some. As for what they call you, again, you have to make sure that they are not expecting you to really be "Mommy" or "Daddy" if this placement is not going to turn into something permanent. Also, you can not, as a foster parent, circumvent the relationship with the biological parent(s). So, always differentiate between "Mom," who is their biological parent and "Mommy Sammie Gabby" The overwhelming majority of my foster kids just call me "Dena". It is harder for younger kids because they view you as their mother and they will slip up and call you "momma" and then they will know that that isn't exactly correct but they won't really understand why so they will freeze up and think they are in trouble. They are waiting to be screamed at a lot of the time because that is what happened in their biological home. So, if a little one slips up, just explain that there is "MOM' and then there is "Mom Sammie Gabby" and it is ok to call you "Mom Sammie Gabbie" And then give him or her hug(but only if it has been established that you can hug them. Always ask a foster child for permission because they haven't had that kind of control over their bodies and some have been terribly violated, so always ask permission and if they say "no" don't hug them. Give them that control)
Adoption. Does Facebook have any good foster/adoption groups?
A basic Google search turned up several forums that might be more what you looking for: http://fosterparentforum.org/ http://www.fosterparents.com/forum.htm http://www.mothering.com/community/f/165...
What's the difference between fostering and adopting?
When you foster a child, you're basically taking care of them until they find a permanent home. Adopting is when you legally go through the process of being their legal guardian and become the child's parent.
How many are adopted out of foster care in the US?
Asked to answer, thanks. Since 2003 the average number of children adopted out of United States foster care systems averages between 50,000 and 52,000 per year. Please refer to the following website for more specific data:http://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/resear...
What is the best way to foster adopt in California?
I fost-adopted through DHS in California 3 times. You MUST understand that the primary goal of foster care is reunification of families. It is not finding you a child to adopt. You are part of the delivery of services to the parents, not only the child. If you know in your heart you cannot do this, look for a child who is legally free, meaning the parental rights have been terminated. The children who are legally free, but not yet adopted typically have serious needs. Never expect a child to be grateful that you have plucked them out of the system. These are children of loss and trauma. Educate yourself about adoption.
Any reason not to adopt foster children?
There is NO reason not to adopt foster children who are legally free. 60% -70% of children in foster care return to their biological parents. Many of these children are in foster care for an average of less than 2 years. They stay in foster care while their biological parents work to get better by getting jobs, going to substance abuse treatment, getting mental health counseling, taking parenting classes, etc. Once the judge has decided that the biological parents have done what they were told to do and it is safe, the foster children are returned to their parents. However, there are MANY children whose biological parents have their parental rights terminated and can be adopted. When there is severe abuse (which is defined by the state), abandonment, or parents go to prison, parental rights can be terminated quickly. When parents do not make progress or do what the judge tells them, parental rights can start to be terminated after a child has been in foster care for 15 months (of 22 consecutive months). Once rights are terminated, children become legally free...and can and should be adopted. In most cases, the foster parents who are caring for a child, have first rights to adoption of that child. It cost very little to adopt children from foster care. Usually a couple thousand dollars. Sometimes, older children can be adopted for free. Also, in some cases, the state will continue to pay money to the adoptive parents to raise the child, similar to the money paid to foster parents.
Adopting a third?
I am 13 my brother is 17. I want a little brother or sister. My parents are in their 40’s and don’t want a baby. How do I persuade them to maybe adopt. I feel bad for all the kids there are thousands of kids in foster care