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Adult Child 23 Is Always In Debt

Do any of your "adult" children live at home?

Not yet but it's a strong future possibility,my eldest moved out,the others are not yet adults but I want them to leave when they are ready and can afford it and I would never consider making them leave by a certain age.

My daughter plans to go to university and if she can't find a job that pays enough to suport herself when she finishes then she is very welcome to return home until she does,at the moment it's easy,she is at college (uk) and works part time so her money is all hers with no bills to pay except travel to work and her phone but she could never live alone on her wage and she works as many hours as possible and has already been promoted and is earning adult minimum wage,that is the rate a 21 year old would earn but she is only 17.

It is much harder now than it was 20 years ago,back then jobs were easier to find and money went further,I was out of my parent's home at 19 and managed fine on what was a relatively low wage but it is different now,less jobs,employers with higher expectations because so many people want work that they can be very fussy and the cost of living is so incredibly high now too,especially rents.

In my opinion if you all get along well it is better to remain at home until the time when your circumstances imrove,there is no need to rush into a lifestyle that you can't really afford.

Should parents charge their adult children rent?

Due to horrific circumstances, I moved in with my dad the day I turned 22 - bringing my 20mth old daughter with me. 11 yrs later, we are still all together.The first month, I paid nothing except groceries.We were starting from scratch and had to replace all of our things we had to leave behind when I fled to live with dad. By the end of that first month, all I really had to get was a bed for me to have finished replacing the essentials. I knew the bed would be expensive, so I was prepared to wait.After that first month, I started paying half the rent, at my insistence. The month after that I started putting a bit toward bills. We'd been there for 3 months when I got my bed. Dad took me to pick it out and bought it for me as a gift because I was, in his words, too stubborn for my own good.After that, I insisted on paying half of everything. And have been ever since. I am an adult, with an income, and a child. Just because my dad was OK with looking after me, it didn't mean it was OK.My younger brothers are still fully supported by dad and their mum, because they are both in university. My daughter, now 13, sees how things work financially in our family, and understands and appreciates it.If I need financial assistance for any reason, dad is there. I pay him back, even though he says it's a gift.I pay him back because it's the right thing to do, and because eventually, we won't be living together.I've been paying my way since I was 14, I can't be any other way. But even if my dad didn't want me to pay towards costs of living, I still would, because I live in the house, I use power, gas, water, and internet. I am not a child, and I am not a parasite. Living with dad has taught me financial responsibility and conservation concepts: power is expensive.So yes, parents should charge their adult children rent or board, if circumstances allow or require it.

Should adult children be so needy?? HELP PLEASE!!?

We are both divorced, dating 7 months she has three kids, I have two kids. All our kids are ADULTS. I understand the need for a parent to help their children through life. Such as offering guidance and forethought when an issue affects a young adult child. Her three are at the respective ages of 22 (lives on her own YAY), 24, and 25 (lives at home). I know that a child needs parental assistance to a certain age, then the child needs to learn to handle many of life's issues as they present themselves and learn to deal with them and grow. I've been told that this is a form of enmeshment. However, at what point does a parent need to stop "nurturing" the adult children?

These children have grown up to depend on mom for everything for them, from buying their health insurance, to submitting resumes, and to allowing the 25 year old son to live in the house without contributing AT ALL to the household expenses. He only has to mow the yard, She has ALL their e-mail passwords as well to check their mail for them. She responds to emails without consulting them. I feel the kids should be guided and offered minimal assistance to learn lessons presented to them in life.

In addition, to doing their wash, cooking for them, etc. They call mom for EVERY little problem (and I mean little) that comes up. Mom is involved in every life aspect from telling them who to date and who to dump. She also filled out an online dating site narrative for one daughter too.

I also add, that we went to look at Christmas lights. Oldest son provokes daughter, SERIOUSLY, they both were acting like five year olds, picking at each other and not in the friendly kidding around sense. It was almost as if he was intentionally trying to get his sister yelled at, which happened from mom. The oldest, a boy, does not date at all, etc, but does work fulltime. This kid even holds his spoon like a five year old in the fist with his thumb balancing the spoon on the main tong. My two kids are grown and gone, one 23 year old in the military, one 19 year old in college. We talk, but 99% of the time they handle their issues without assistance. That makes me proud that my kids are self-sufficient.

What are your thoughts on this??

Should adult children living at home help with rent and household chores? What should you do if they refuse?

Of course. Definitely!! Yes…. I have 3 adult children living at home. My eldest, 25 has graduated college and is working a full time job so I've asked him to contribute to the household. He gives me a monetary amount each month which is much less than what he would be paying renting a room. He also helps out with the lawn and with cleaning a bathroom. My middle child is 23 and has also graduated college and works full time. She also helps out with various chores around the house and pays the bills. My youngest is 20, still in college and currently not working. She's never contributed financially but is the one that helps the most around the house. I wouldn't have it any other way. This helps them become responsible. If they would refuse, I would ask them to move out. Actually my eldest has moved out in the past because he didn't want to follow the house rules but has moved back after realizing how good he actually had it at home. My daughters say they've learned from his mistakes and have never moved out nor does it look like they will anytime soon. We as parents have to stand our ground and let them learn from their mistakes. We are the bosses not them…I tell my kids “My house, my rules”. I feel that we are very reasonable with them but nonetheless they must follow our rules. And one last piece of advice, treat your children like adults not kids. We tend to forget that they are grown up. They're now adults and should be treated and respected as such.

Is life better for ... little children, teenagers, young adults, middle aged or retired people?

i think it depends on the person.

honestly i think some people dont enjoy life very much at all, and others enjoy every step to the max.

but if i had to chose one...

i would assume retired.

i think children are very stressed in this day and age, and teens have it even worse. young adults are newly being introduced to debt and having to deal with it all on their own dime. middle aged people have a hard time adjusting to aging and they also have the stress of families to raise. retired people already raised their children are a bit older and wiser and dont have to go to work everyday. they can just chill and enjoy a relaxing life with their significant other

Young adults not leaving the nest...?

This is the first generation where it won't just be automatic to do better than the parents, economically. 20 years ago, you could leave home, get a job, apartment and so on and in a few years be doing better than your dad. Not any longer. It's frustrating to see parents living it up, in big houses in high paying jobs while struggling to make a living. Easier to go home and enjoy the good life. Plus, parents have lost their rights to raise children as they see fit. Most of my friends and I were beat constantly as children. Now, everyone has to be their kids best friggin friends. Where is the motivation to leave. I was out the door the day I graduated high school.