Ask a question

Advice On How To Help My Mother

Help! My mother is a freeloader!?

Ok, I need some advice. My mother has been living with me for 3 months. She has not tried to find a job at all. She gets half of my father’s retirement (they are divorced) at the beginning of every month. She doesn’t even use it to help with bills. But she does find money to go shopping at the mall for new clothes. Now I am not rich I am a single mother of 2 with one on the way. I am just barely making it myself but now I am supporting her too. My mother was evicted out of her house a few months ago after she lost her job. She moved in with my brother but that only lasted a week because she was kicked out for physically fighting with his pregnant wife. She was sleeping in her truck. I sent her money (she was in another state) so she could move up here with me and find a job. It has been 3 months she hasn’t found one yet. This is a big city there are lots of jobs. Now to top it off she is very disrespectful towards me she will tell me to commit suicide and to get an abortion. When she found out I was pregnant again (something I was not ready to share with everyone) she posted it on the internet. I was not happy. I asked her how she would feel if I posted to everyone that she had gotten weight loss surgery. Anyway we got into an argument she started throwing things. She even broke my cell phone in half. She threatened to call DHS on me (for what I don’t know I take very good care of my children). She called the police they came and asked her to leave for the night. Well my question is where do I go from here? What do I do now? I feel like have gone out of my way to help her and she treats me with disrespect. What do I do now?

Help with legal advice on retrieving my mother's ashes?

My mother passed away when i was 3 years old. After her passing, my uncle (my mother's brother) has kept her ashes. i have asked him for her ashes many times in the past but he has refused to hand them over to me. Also, he is a very hostile man and we have a very negative relationship. He has mistreated me in the past and disowned me for being "gay". He lives in Arizona, whille i live in New Mexico. What steps will i need to take to take him to court over my mother's ashes? It has been 14 years.

My relationship with my mother sucks... Advice?

Here's the deal. I'm thirty, and my mother and I have never gotten along, PARTICULARLY since she went through menopause when I was twelve. Since then, she's turned into a raving *****.

Now, seriously, I try to control my temper when she loses her sanity for a day, but it's getting really hard.

I'll give you an example (this just happened tonight) of something that happens pretty frequently so that you get a general idea of what's going on.

My parents agreed to watch my son this evening, so we all agreed that we would be there at eight. I am very punctual, and was there at EXACTLY eight. I told my son to tell my mother we were there, and that we were about to leave (she was upstairs).

She came downstairs, yelling, and asked, "What the hell do you want?" Okay. Whoa.

I replied, "I told him to tell you we were leaving."

"I've had a f*cking horrible day, and I don't need this sh!t..."

"What are you talking about?"

"YOU."

... And she slammed the door. WTF?

Need advice on hyper-critical mother - help please!?

I know what you are talking about and I sympathize. Your mother is who is she is and at her age she is certainly not going to change. My advice is to just accept your mother as she is, no matter how sad this makes you because you cannot change another person. But you do have the power to change yourself - try by being positive (both acting and thinking positive), by changing/stopping your reaction to your mother which has become automatic and routine by this point in time and by concentrating on learning how to accept your mother as she is without letting it directly affect you. Your mother as a person and your relationship with her are both having a negative effect on you and has, by the sound of it, most of your life. So accept the fact that there are and have been some issues that will never be resolved for whatever reason - the main one now being that it is too late. But you do have the power to change how you feel about these thing by simply not letting it bother you. I know that is easier said than done - it takes work, but follow the love in your heart. Step back from the whole situation and consciously choose your own personal happiness over a situation, and a person, that you have no control over - this is not being selfish; if you don't care about or love yourself then you will never really love another person because knowing how to really love begins with yourself and flows outward. Life is short and you are going to love your mother no matter what flaws she has (or you have, for that matter), so learn to make the best of a bad situation and try act and not "react" by staying positive. Remember you can only change yourself, but by changing yourself and your own reactions, and by enforcing and reinforcing positivity, circumstances will also change for the better. I hope some of what I have written will help you and I wish both you and your mother the best.

My mother seems to hate me. I'm 30 years old . Need advice!?

Ever since I was a kid my mom was never particularly loving. Not affectionate, few kind words, she was quite depressed, miserable and critical. At 30 years old I'm a single mother and find myself having to rely upon her while there is no daycare during the summer to help me with my 3 year old son. However I am exhausted dealing with her. She treats me with disrespect because she says she is burnt out. I have no other options at this point and the daycare where my son goes opens again in a week. Then I won't need her help. This summer has been hell. If she's tired or annoyed she treats me like she's disgusted with me. She won't even say hello in the morning when I drop my son off. I make it a point to say thank you... but now I'm starting to hate her. When I need her most she's cruel.

My son's father has been inconsistent at best. He's unemployed but said that watching my son more than 2-3 days a week was "selfish and Unreasonable" on my part to ask him. I'M WORKING. And during the school year I'm a nursing student. I'm exhausted and don't know what to do.

Today I called my mom to talk to her about something that was bothering me (a stressful situation) because I needed someone to talk to and she ultimately told me, "Oh well! I don't want to hear it." and hung up on me.

She does not treat my sisters this way. Just me. Any sign or hint at neediness or dependence and she can't stand you. She's harsh and critical and doesn't want to hear about anything in my life. In fact she acts annoyed to talk with me.

I'm on the verge of cutting her out of my life. She makes me feel like **** about myself. I'm realizing that she's just not a nurturing mother and she admits to this. Yet she would never ever talk to my sister's the way she talks to me. In the past she has told me she "can't stand me" because I'm "needy emotionally".

I've never understood why my mom hates me.

Advice?