How do I convince my husband that we're ready for a child?
Let's rephrase slightly. How can I prepare my husband and I to be ready to have children?Do NOT nag or badger you husband. AT ALL.Help your husband finish his pre-kids bucket list - get a promotion? Vacation to some exotic location? Run a marathon?Hang out with other (happy) couples that have young kids. Go to dinner, go to the park or the beach together with their family. Get a dog. In my circles this is commonly recognized as a practice baby.Move to a family friendly neighborhood.When looking for a new vehicle, pick one that is child friendly.When budgeting together (you DO budget together don't you?), start discussing how you will someday cover baby expenses. Use the preamble "I know we're not ready yet, but..." [lets increase our emergency fund, lets try to live off one salary, lets try to set aside how much monthly childcare would cost, etc.]Talk to your doctor about what you should know before you are ready to start trying. ie. starting a multivitamin, how long do you have to wait after stopping your current birth control, etc. If you are of an age where the doctor brings up concerns about fertility, higher risk of birth defects, etc, this is a legitimate subject to discuss with your husband.Get your wills done.Start discussing kid issues in non-pressure ways. "Did your parents spank you when you were a kid? I've been reading about it and I think other discipline methods would be better." or "My friend so and so says the local schools aren't very good, she and her husband are thinking about private school. Maybe we'll want to move to a better district before we have kids at school age." Try to find issues your husband is interested in so he can be engaged in the conversation also.Best wishes!
My wife wants an abortion of our child because she’s not ready, but I completely disagree and want to have the baby, how do I convince her otherwise?
I believe the woman in the relationship should have most the say in what to do with a newly conceived baby. She's the one who will have to carry and birth the child.Abortion gets a bad rap, but I like to look at the facts. A fetus isn't a baby until it has a brain. If it doesn't have a brain it is nothing more than a mass of cells. Many would disagree claiming "all life deserves a chance", but every who says that is a hypocrite. A female loses eggs on a normal basis as they expire and are replaced. A males sperm cells die and are replaced just the same. If you truly believe in the statement above then you'd spend your entire life being pregnant or impregnating females lest the cells in your body expire.So the question is, if you'll let the cells that could become a baby die, then what's so wrong with doing that after they've started their job?A cell is a machine. It doesn't care whether it lives or dies, nor does it feel, it doesn't wish or want, it exists to do one thing and it will do it until it dies.So no, your not killing a baby, human, or anything that cares if you stop its job. You're no more killing a child than when your simply not trying for children and the cells expire.Armed with this knowledge you must simply ask yourself "are we ready for a child?" And more importantly "is she ready for a child?"
My girlfriend is pregnant and I'm not ready for a child, what do I do?
In the title I said girlfriend because that's the easiest way to describe this woman. Basically, I am 24 and I am sort of dating my boss. It's not in a particularly weird way and isn't against any sort of rules, but she is 32 so there is quite a big gap in age and maturities. She is pregnant with what she says is my child and I asked her if she is going to keep it and she says she is going to. She told me she didn't expect me to be a part of the child's life if I wasn't ready, but I really don't know what to do. I am not at all ready for a child (and before you mention contraception she is on the pill but she obviously missed a turn or it didn't work), but I can't imagine abandoning my child and leaving my sort of girlfriend to bring up a child by herself. She says she is ready for it as she is 32 and she feels she can take the responsibilities of being a single mother, but I do not want to break up with her as I very much enjoy spending time with her and I do not want my child to not know who it's father is. I really don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice anybody could give me please?
Why do people have children when they aren't ready for them?
So many reasons. Here's some of my favorites over the years: I was drunkThe withdrawal method worked in the pastI figured why use a condom, when am I going to be in (location X) again? I don't like using condoms.I don't believe in birth control. Our relationship was falling apart so we thought kids would give us something to focus on.I felt abandoned in the relationship and thought a child would help me feel less lonely. Tax incentives. No reason at all, a life given to entropy.The list goes on and on. The sad thing is it's hard to say when anyone is really, ready for children. My wife and I waited until we were in our 30's, had stable income, home, and family close by. After a series of health issues with our first born, I got my ass handed to me. Clearly I wasn't ready for this kind of agony. I am wondering, who would be ready for that? Is there a test I could have taken? Something to assure me that when our world went upside down I would have what it took to keep us safe and whole? No. The fact is you can never be "ready" to have children. There is always something that is going to happen which will either force you to grow or turn you into a bittter, broken thing that inflicts pain on those closest to you.
How do i know if i'm ready for a baby?
no one is every ready to have a baby, but if u feel you want a baby and ur happy within the realtionship ur in and ur fiancaily stable and everything is going well for you than yeh for sure if u want a baby and life is at a point where u can handle having a baby and being pregnant and you phyically and emtionally stable go for it, its a wonderful thing!!
When should a child start kindergarten? Is my child ready?
A recent debate has occured in my household about when our son should start kindergarten. Hes about to turn 4, i think he should start kindergarten this year, but my husband thinks he should wait until next year after he turns 5. Mentally, i think he's pretty on track with where he should be. My husband is mostly concerned because he still struggles with remembering the ABC's, he's not an expert scissor handler and though he can indeed hold a pencil correctly he doesnt quite grasp the concept of writing actual letters, and he hasn't quite mastered wiping his own bottom yet either. But he can count, he tries really hard to read (its so cute), hes very curious and loves to learn, he can dress himself and do basic functions like that, he has a decent vocabulary and speaks in clear full sentences, and HE really wants to start going to school, he even made us buy him a backpack. :) A major reason i'd like him to start early is because he doesn't have the opportunity to interact socially with very many kids his age, its usually just me and his father and other adults who play with him. The only time hes really around children his age is for an hour every sunday at church. Im pretty concerned about this, i think he needs to have more social contact soon. I wouldnt want him to wait to start school and end up hating it because he doesnt know how to play with other kids and share and things like that. Im just concerned. What do you guys think? Should we put him in kindergarten now or wait a year until hes more prepared? And would being slightly younger than everyone in his class be a big deal when he's older?
How / when did you know you were ready for kids?
I got married in 2010, Initially for a year my husband I wanted to enjoy our new life.Later we were living in separate cities as our work demanded that. After two years, we slowly began to think of starting a family.I was (I still am, a little) a very career oriented person . Though I wasn’t in a very big position or anything, I loved my job. I had a good manager , a challenging role , in short everything was good professionally.But, I dint know if I was ready for a child yet. I thought that it was time to focus on the career and make big bucks so that whenever I have a kid, I will be able to provide well for the child.My husband tried to move to the city I was living, but for some reason it dint work . Then I thought I’ll try to move to his city, took a month off from my work (I was in bench pool) to look for opportunities in the city he was living.One of our lovely friends invited us to stay with them so we stayed in their house during that time I was searching for a job.They had a 6 month old baby boy called ‘Praddy’. He was the one who changed my mind. I’ve always liked babies and have played and enjoyed with many of them in my life before.But this experience with praddy was wonderful in a different way. In my mind I was evaluating myself as a mother. Understanding what it takes to have a child.I realized that though having a child can mean a lot of responsibility like, keeping up with a schedule , having a proper plan , Juggling work at home etc. , it is also a pure and rewarding experience.When I was with him playing, sometimes while changing diapers, feeding him food (His mom did all of this the whole time, I was just a tag along), I realized how blissful it was to be around a child. I used to miss him while he was sleeping.I applied for jobs during the day and rest of the time I was with praddy.I was working on a visa and the company could not extend my time on bench. Things were becoming worrisome. But being with Praddy made up for all the stress. He was my stress-buster.In that one month, my job search ended unsuccessfully, but the biggest surprise from god was waiting for me.After a few weeks I found out that I was pregnant ! And by now, I was physically, mentally and emotionally ready to welcome my munchkin !I quit my job, took a break for a while, then got back to work a few years later.Being a mother for me, has been the most exhilarating experience in my life so far :) Its definitely not overrated !
My husband wants a baby, but I'm not ready.?
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. He turned 30 this year, and I am 23. He wants a baby so bad that it is an everyday, every time we're intimate, too often discussion. It is to the point where he doesn't want to have sex unless he can finish "naturally". I know that someday I want kids, but right now, I am terrified at the thought. We live in a very old house, not our forever home, and I am in the middle of deciding what I want to do as a career for the rest of my life. I am trying to lose weight that I gained over the past year, and trying to get my life together. To me, our life with a child is me getting up in the middle of the night for feeding, and him laying in bed. I see me changing, feeding, and caring for the baby while he sits on his computer, as he does pretty much all the time right now. He swears that it wouldn't just be me, but I don't believe him. I love him, and I am in love with him. I don't want to see him unhappy, but I am dealing with my own issues. There was a time when I thought I was pregnant, and I was happy, but still terrified. The thought of bringing a life into the world and knowing that I created it is wonderful, but not yet. Not yet. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him if I don't get on the baby train.