Is it wrong for me to see crying as selfishness?
Crying is selfish. People are selfish. You are crying only for your loss, not theirs. So yes, I agree.
Am i wrong for feeling this way ... (Remarriage after spouses death?)?
You are neither wrong nor right for feeling this way - it is just how you feel. Your strong connection to your father, your religion and your culture all play a role in your feelings. However (you're a smart young woman and knew that was coming, didn't you), today a woman's lifespan (depending on many contributing factors of course) can be 80-90 years. Hopefully your Mother has 30+ years to live. LoveIt, do you really think she has lived her life and should now just quietly wait for death? I'm sorry, but your Mother is a long way from dead and has every right to enjoy what years she has left to her. And to do so with her family's support and love. She has trusted you with her new relationship and happiness - it remains to be seen what you do with this knowledge. After the sadness of your Dad's illness and untimely death, I believe he would want your Mother to have another chance at happiness and companionship. Catholic or not.
Is my point wrong? Am I selfish?
If your question ended with the first line, I would say you are not at all Selfish.If you extend it beyond to who is Right or Wrong both of you can justify your arguements partly on logic, remaining on taking shelter of Emotions and finally if nothing works, with Physical disabilities (by including others around viz parents & relatives, society & religion…..).Wisdom lies in handling it transcending the Physical, Emotional and Intellectual planes where contradictions are un-resolvable at both ends.Love is the solution as it belongs to the beyond. Up till now, both of you have been Bodily attracted, Emotionally Attached and probably had some sound Rationale to come together for life time. None of this is love. All that has happened is between two Identities operating independently, maintaining the contour of Religion and Society (though sometime physically you merged into each other or emotionally shared common moments).Total surrender is what happens in Love as for the one loving, only the other exists. Both of you or one among you has to surrender. Surrender the Self Concept that you are preserving and more so as your Socio Religious Identity here. Who sover is capable of Surrendering lives peacefully while the other continues to be only a Socially or Religiously complying person impacted by all externalities and without any peace of mind. Love itself is surrender and it is not at all easy with Ego/baggage of Self Concept. Drop these, and you are liberated, with or without your Beloved being around, irrespective of you even maryying him or not.
I know I'm wrong to feel this way, but I do...?
I am sick of my in-laws catering to the childish demands of my bratty sister-in-law. She is 28 going on 4! I have a baby and I am pregnant with my second child, and yet every family function has to be arranged around my sister-in-law (who is single and childless). Today she postponed a family dinner 2 hours because she slept late and decided to go shopping and lost track of time! I can't keep my one-year-old out til 9 or 10 at night - so now I have to bow out of the invitation - yet nobody has the sense to say anything to her about having consideration for others. I resent her for being so selfish, and I resent that nobody speaks up in my defense. Should I speak up or bite my tongue?
I feel everyone in this world is selfish (myself included). Am I right to feel this way (explain why)?
I’ve read the answers for this question, but I feel they don’t get down to the crux of the matter: Is everyone selfish?My opinion is a resounding YES! Every living thing on earth is selfish for the purposes of self survival. Remember all of us (animals and plants included) came into being alone, and we WILL leave our physical existence alone.There are many instances that cloud the idea that the world is not selfish: for exampleBonds between spousesFriendship and brotherhoodEven camaraderie in working and corporate teamsHowever do not be delusional. Each and every instance of the above is an example of teamwork that happens only because of a person’s innate sense of selfishness and need to survive and be ahead of others (including others outside the circle/team).Some may ask - what aboutphilanthropists who give billions to the poordoctors who give their time to heal the sick in developing countriespro bono lawyers who help fight injusticeAgain, do not be deluded. Each and everyone who engages in the above is doing it for others, yes, but first and foremost, for THEMSELVES. They happen to be in the right place at the right time where they can give and make THEMSELVES feel good. Some may publicly announce their efforts, in which they gain intangible selfish benefits, while other may not and be content with being satisfied spiritually to have given.For avoidance of doubt, my post here is also for selfish reasons - I want people to understand my point of view gained through the course of my life on earth, and feel happy doing so - if not, I would not have to motivation to have made this post.In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with being selfish, much as culture abhors this ‘natural action’ as much as some cultures and societies think sex is taboo or women’s faces should be shrouded. The earlier one accepts this the better it will be.
Is it wrong that I'm 20 and I still feel hurt from being spanked as a child?
First, as someone else said, you were abused, not just spanked. if you are using objects, and hitting a child all over their body, you are beating them, not spanking. You are NOT selfish for feeling the way you do, and your parents were the problem. not you. Maybe they were treated that way as children but that doesn't make it right. I don't think that being abused as a child is ever an excuse to abuse your own children...it's almost worse because you KNOW waht it was like to be that child, yet you still choose to put your own child through the same horror. Providing your child with basic necessities and material things isn't enough. If you abuse them and don't show them love, then simply giving them what they need doesn't make up for that. I definitely think you should seek counseling. And if you plan to have kids of your own, then you can strive to be a better parent and don't do the things that your parents did. Love your kids and give them a better childhood. And you don't have to have your parents in your life if they cause you that much pain. If you have a job, then you can start saving up money and break away from them and not need to depend on them financially.
Am I wrong for thinking this way?
My Husbands EX-Wife wont let him see his kids.. they know him as dad (hes not bialogicaly dad) we havent seen them in 6 months. Suprize suprize its christmas time and hes aloud to see them.. We were not to be told untill after christmas, but his sister called anyway to let us know. I took it as well she wont ask but they need gifts. I said I dont care if he sees them I will not take part and I dont want them at the house. Is this wrong? I dont want it because in 2 weeks or 2 months she is only going to decited we arnt good enough... like always. We do everything we can for them.. when we can see them. I dont want the kids to get hurt I dont want to get emonitaly attached again only to be told we cant see them. I dont know what to do. I am not saying he cant see them I dont want to and I dont want them at our home... Is that wrong of me?