Am I wrong for letting my boyfriend kick my daughter out?
My daughter is 21 years old. She works and is an all around personable kid. I live with my boyfriend in his house. He finally told my daughter that by Jan 31st, she was to be out and living on her own. All of this despite the fact that his 20 year old daughter lives with us as well and is very immature and at times can drive you nuts. Right now my daughter is living with a distant relative and sleeping on the floor of a room with no cable or internet. She is miserable. I do not want my daughter to live with me forever, but right now she is working a minimum wage job, and finding an apartment that she can afford is nearly impossible. She has tried to find someone to room with and share expenses, but everybody she knows that is her age, is living at home. She feels betrayed by me for letting this happen, but this is his house so I feel I do not have a say. I love this guy, but I feel that he is singling out my daughter and playing favorites to his daughter. I feel that if the tables were turned, and this was happening to his daughter, that he would be furious. It has put me in a pretty bad situation that I am very uncomfortable with as I love him very much, but I love my daughter as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
If your daughter has a lesbian friend, would you let her spend the night at your house?
i would say no and not just to be stereotypically unfair to the girl because she's gay. it's for this reason: is it okay for straight boys to spend the night with your daughter at your home? it's the same difference... you don't let boys who might be sexually interested in your daughter spend the night, so it wouldn't be appropriate to let a gay girl who could become sexually interested in your daughter spend that kind of alone-time with her. if my daughter decided that she were gay, she couldn't have girls over to spend the night because it opens up too many questions as far as intentions, curiosities and exploration. i understand that you simply don't want the girl spending the night, sleeping in your daughters room if she prefers other girls sexually, because what decent parent wants to promote sexual exploration, homosexual exploration/sex and immorality (casual sex/sex acts outside of a steady relationship/marriage)?....i agree with your husband. they can hang all day, but she can't spend the night. like other posters said, teens will fiind a way to do what they want, but you are under no obligation to promote any of those activities or allow them in your home, just so that you don't seem anti-gay. -hbb
Would you let your daughter and her girlfriend (both 14) have a sleepover as long as they promise to sleep in separate rooms?
Wait…what?Having gone to sleepovers as a teenager, not once - not ever - were we asked to sleep in separate rooms. What’s the point of having a sleepover? The point is to stay up past bedtime telling stories or watching TV or sharing secrets.I see you’ve tagged this question with “Lesbians” and “Homosexuality.” Is your daughter in fact a lesbian? Is the other girl? And why would it matter either way.[Response updated based on comments.]Girlfriend is still pretty widely used in the culture to describe two girls who are friends, so I’m not sure whether or not you’re reading the situation correctly. Sometime girls who are BFF’s at 14 might read as lesbian - when they’re not - just because of the intense nature of female friendship at that age. It sometimes seems two girls are merging into one shared identity.Assuming that one of these girls is your daughter, why not talk with her? Rather than making up a rule that, on its face, is counter to the whole concept of sleepover, ask her if she’s romantically involved with her friend. Then have the overdue discussion.If the girls are lovers - or you suspect they are about to be - one sleepover will not make or break the deal. If you are loving and supportive of your daughter - and accept her for who she is - then as part of your conversation tell her that you’re not prepared to have them indulge in underage sexual behavior in your house…and that you would have the exact same rule for a boy and a girl of her age.The bigger issue seems to be fear. You can’t change things if your daughter is a lesbian. Talk to your daughter. Support her. Love her for the amazing young woman she’s growing into. This is a wonderful opportunity to forge the relationship you’ll have with her for the rest of your lives…make sure it’s a loving, positive one.
Should I let my 18-year-old daughter sleep over at her boyfriend's house?
First, she's reached the age of sexual majority in the US. It is her decision and not yours now.Second, is SHE Catholic? If not, then again, it's her decision and not yours.Third, in YOUR home, you can make any (legally permissible) rules you wish to make and enforce them. This includes disallowing sex between non-married people, period. She can remedy this by being elsewhere, which she soon will be anyway, at Uni.Fourth, you have no legal right to forbid her to do anything legal outside of the home, whether it's sex, playing the lottery or smoking tobacco.If you want her to abstain, clearly that ship sailed LONG ago and is presumed lost at sea. You cannot undo what has already transpired.You are at a crossroads: You may choose to hold onto your attachment to your practices and attempt all sorts of ways to manipulate her into adhering to them or you can let go of them, reducing your stress, and permit her to make her own decisions... and mistakes as needed. Be available to answer questions or soothe the hurts, but you had your 18 years chance. Time to let go and trust her to watch out for herself.Otherwise, you risk losing her altogether and creating a resentment that could take decades, if ever, to overcome.Look at the big picture, let go of your attachments and trust in all your prior years of effort. Every person has a different path through life and sometimes you just have to watch the bruises as they occur and stand ready with the arnica gel to soothe them.Good luck.
Should I stay friends with my ex Sister in Law?
I have been best friends with my sister-in-law pretty much all my life and it was through me that she met and married my brother. They were married for 15 years and split up last year (infidelity on her part). My brother is totally incensed with rage that I still keep in touch with her. Our friendship is, and never will be, the same as it was. We don't talk regularly, maybe once a month and haven't been out together since the split. I think we should try to keep things as 'normal' as possible as there are children involved. She took my daughter to see a movie last week and my brother is really angry with me, he said a lot of terrible things. He has been so hurt by what happened and he wants me to hate her as much as he does. But I don't.
Is it wrong to let my teenage daughter's lesbian lover live with us?
my daughter is 16 and a lesbian. her lover 's parents just died in a car crash and this girl has no other family. Should i offer to let her stay with us even though i know that they would do "things". i am also a proud member of the catholic church and i fear that i may be asked to leave due to the fact that i am allowing my daughter to live with,(most likely) sleep with, and be a lesbian. what should i do. I want to be a good person but i still want to save my faith.