Is it wrong to mother like this hypothectially speaking?
If you're son done something bad in school such as poor grades, putting feet on the desk, sometimes clowning around in class wasting the teachers time ,or maybe watching an r rated movie at 13, I do this in steps, Mumble names to him constantly after hitting him in the face such as stupid kid. Shut up stupid kid pfft. Crazy. Everyone thinks you're psycho and that reflex on me. Shut up. Just shut up. What if he pleas and yells stop? I also him in the face, and tell him to his face to just shut up I said. Shut up kid pfft. Ill talk if I want to kid. Stupid kid. Ugly. You're ugly. That's why girls at school don't like you. You're ugly and nasty. He says no he's not and he gets another slap and I tell him to shut up. Well you are to me abd if I say you are then you are. Then I call him a fat slob if he snacks.
I don't like speaking to my mother anymore?
Im about 17 and I just don't really like speaking to my mom. I don't like the fact that when ever I tell her something private she talks about it with other people. I dont dislike her, I fact I love my mom. I recently went away for a summer program which was paid for state and I felt no need to talk to her. It was a month but I lived being on my own. She tried to call me everyday but I only talked to her maybe 4 times until she came to pick me up. She just doesn't understand that if I don't want something, I don't want it. Like food or something. I feel bad because I get loud when she keeps pushing. Am I a bad person? I just don't like spending time or talking to her. I love her though but I even told her I plan on not returning home when I leave for college
Am I wrong for not speaking to my mum?
There is nothing wrong with you however you must learn to stare controversy and confrontation in the face with fortitude,god speed and give you strength during this time of your life,amen
"Am I wrong to avoid my Mother-in-law?"?
I talk to my mil sometimes. Then I don't. I try to avoid her because she always is finding something silly to say when she is around me. The silly things are very mean and nasty. Why would she spend so much time trying to bring me down? Also, when she does these mean things to me they are done when no one is around or either they are out of earshot.
Am I wrong for not talking to my alcoholic mother?
We do what we do for many reasons. This applies equally to both you and your mother. Sounds like you are angry at her for cheating on and leaving your father. It sounds like you are hurt by her self-destructive and abusive behaviour. Pretty natural reaction to avoid her. You are hurt and don’t want to be hurt by her again. Easier to be angry than to risk that.Here is the thing about forgiveness… it really isn’t about the other person. It is about you. Letting go of your anger and resentments. And that is always a lot easier said than done. You don’t HAVE to do anything… but if you feel like you might want to give it a shot… try seeing things from her point of view. She sounds like she is hurting too… and perhaps knows no other method of communicating other than being abusive. People cheat, are abusive and drown their sorrows because something is broken or missing in their lives… something they either choose not to or cannot fulfill on their own.Abusive behaviour is unacceptable. Always. Towards anybody. And for any reason. You must protect yourself from it. Either institute some ground rules (I refuse to talk to you when you are drinking or being abusive) or continue to avoid her. If you do decide to forgive her, do it for yourself for your own peace of mind… not because you are good, bad, right or wrong, or because somebody is pressuring you to do so. In the meantime it would be good for you to talk to someone so you can heal. Al-Anon would be a very good place as they specialize in helping people who have family members who drink. Welcome to Al-Anon Family GroupsI wish both of you good luck.
I cannot speak my mother tongue and I have no motivation of learning it. Is that bad?
Learning a language is a choice. If you do not need to learn Bengali, then do not. There’s no issue there. This does not make you ‘bad’, but the way you described your heritage does that.Anyone who runs from their heritage and culture, is just denying a reality. Bengali has a rich culture. I would say it’s your family that denied you from harnessing the greatness of your own language and heritage. I doubt you can fit in some other culture where you failed so miserably in your own ( Well, unless you were persecuted in Bangladesh by Bengali speaking people for denying to speak in Bengali - which seems highly unlikely).I would remind you the story of the crow and peacock. The crow in the story hated his origin, so he picked up some feathers from a peacock, badmouthed his society, and left the group. The peacock initially accepted him, but soon they realized this crow is not one of them. So they abandon the crow. Being devastated, the crow now wanted to go back to his own group - only to find out he has been ostracized for his deeds.
Is it bad that I can't speak my mother tongue?
Not knowing how to speak your mothertongue is not bad. But not making an effort to learn it is bad.I can understand your situation that you have spent your entire life outside Kerala(same with me) and you do not have to speak this language there. In such cases it is parents who should take a lead and inculcate Malayalam into their children. (I learnt Malayalam only because my parents were keen on me learning it. After living outside Kerala for two decades we still talk in Malayalam at home). Your parents are to be blamed to a certain extent because they chose to speak with you in English.Now that you have grown up, you should not blame them for the past. Instead, think of the present, take an initiative to learn it, insisting parents to speak in Malayalam. Watch as many Malayalam movies as you can. Once you are thorough with speaking you may consider learning how to read and write (I don’t think its necessary. Go for it only if you are interested). Your knowledge in Malayalam will open a whole new world for you.Start today. Ask your parents to speak in Malayalam with you and watch a malayalam movie today.Hope to see you speaking in Malayalam soon! ☺Happy learning!!
Am I wrong for not going to my Mom's funeral today?
My question was removed today since it was not in the right form. My mom Died at home Saturday morning from lung cancer. I and one of my sisters were not called until she had already died. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters. from what I knew we all had a great relationship with my mom and loved her very much. They were all with her at her bedside in her home when she died.But it seems as though there is an "in charge" brother who seems to think he can call the shots and choose to call who he wanted. He did not call me until Saturday afternoon. He told me that he was not even going to call my other sister at all, so I called her and she was devastated. There were numerous phone calls back and forth with everyone fighting. I came to find out that they have already cleared out her house of the things they want. I am furious and horrified.I chose not to attend the funeral today because of the atmosphere that I knew I would be walking into as I told them what I thought of the fact that they did not call me or my sister to go say our last goodbye to her. It seems my siblings come out of the woodwork when there is a medal to earn and money or things to take. I knew my mom was dying and spoke frequently with her. She lives a distance away from me.I have cried more than you can imagine. My dad died a few years ago suddenly from a massive heart attack.So am I wrong for not being there today(even though her spirit is in heaven) or is it okay for me to make the decision to honor her today the way I need to without having a huge family fight on the day of my mom's funeral as my siblings are not beyond fighting right in the funeral parlor.Can someone please give me an honest opinion? I truly am greiving and feel awful.