I am always there for my friends but when I need help, I realize there is no one around. Why is that?
When your friends talk about their problems, you are willing to help. You offer your help. When you are having problems, you may mention them, and no one offers to help. You may not ask for help. Most people don't think to offer help. Most people also don't think to ask for help. When people ask for help, it's ok to say no if you don't want to help. When you ask for help, understand that no one is obligated to say yes. When you help people, you are internally keeping score. You are thinking that this person now owes you. And when you need help you expect them to repay the debt. The fact is, you offer to help with no strings attached. The fact that you do have strings attached and you don't mention it makes you a really untrustworthy person. I would not want you as a friend.
Do real friends exist nowadays?
I mean i see tons of teens hanging out with each other,texting everyone they know and maintaining a connection...but is that true friendship?? Would even one of them care if lets say they got admitted to hospital ?! Or is it just family thats there for you? Do you think people have quality time for each other? Or is everyone i see just alone in the crowd?
What do I do if I always call my friends, but they rarely call me?
It seems to me that you are the sole party who tries to keep in touch and check in your friends. It may be that your friends simply struggle to keep up with their friends.Some people are like that, they are just horrible at keeping in touch. It doesn't necessary implies that they do not value you or the connections they have with you.Ultimately,there's nothing much that you can do about them.You've done your part of keeping the friendship alive by checking on them regularly . So now it's their turn to return the advances and fulfill their roles.Your time is as precious as theirs so don’t spend too much time worrying about it as well.If they are too busy to keep in touch with you , they'll make it up for it later when they do finally have the time to do so. Until then, just do your own thing and wait.As a rule of thumb just do whatever you feel is comfortable and reasonable for you to do — don't do anything you resent having to do. And always remember that in any kind of relationship you have to give people room to decide just how much of themselves they want to give you.
Friends rarely post/comment/like my Facebook?
I've been on facebook for more than a year now, I have about 90 friends on there, but those are people that I have talked to, hung out with, dated, co workers, etc. not just some random people I "friended". I'm a little jealous because my friends will post anything and 97.5% of the time get a like or comment, or if you go to their profile they will have 2-4 people posting on their immediate wall. For example: one of my friends is having girl troubles, posts simply "fml" and get 2 comments within 5 minutes. Or one of my friends did one of those "like this and I'll send you a secret" and received 75 likes within a half hour. I have tried everything to get someone to notice me, everything from long thought out theories, to something short (like "fml"), to talking about what's hot in our little town right now, to talking about something they're into, I've even tried asking why I never get any response. And I could count the likes I've gotten over a year... It's all a failed attempt, and not to sound like a pussie, but I'm hurt that no body notices me... So what should I do? I homeschool so Facebook IS my social interaction, but I'm literally a ghost on there, and that means being a ghost socially...
What should you do if your friends ditch you and seem to be doing it unconsciously but they never include you?
After class they just group up and talk to each other, rarely do they eat lunch in one spot anymore, and I eat alone. I want to scream at them but they take things the way they want to, and they don't even realize that they use their body language to exculde me.
If your friends don't contact you often, does that mean they don't care?
No, I do not feel that lack of contact from friends means they do not care. Friendship is a knowledge shared between two people who have shared experiences that have caused them to create a bond. This bond means that there is a connection. The definition, the events, the degree of the bond will differ among people. And the definition will change because as life progresses, our priorities change and rearrange.Some friendships are based a deep bond, and, yet the people may only see one another rarely. Some friendships are based on continual interaction. The parameters of friendships change, intensify, become quiet and feel differently at times. And a friendship may become the sole focus of your life at other times.Important to friendship is the bond. The knowing that this person shares a part of your life. Whether it is drinks every Wednesday at Howard Johnson’s or daily sharing, friendship is a unique relationship. There are no false parameters to friendship…age, sex, religion, politics, race, financial standing, education, birth nation, quiet or loud, famous or unknown, handicapped people, Olympic gymnast, liars, priests, lovers, haters —-any combination of people can form a friendship.If you feel that your friendships are based on seeing each other frequently, perhaps your friends have been attending to others friend or family. If you feel that you need to make contact, then by all means, call some of your friends and say that you miss them and let’s get together, or let’s do a video chat or time to socialize. I think all friendships can become less vibrant at times, and it is up to you to stimulate things.Enjoy those whom you call friend.
I've always been there for my friend, but she's never there for me, as replies to my recent posts. How do I learn to be selfish?
This is not a matter of "selfishness", and it may be that if you stop using this word and thinking of things in this way, it may help you get to where you need to be in your friendship.There are healthy and unhealthy relationships, and many factors that can contribute to making a relationship an "unhealthy" one. A major element can be unfairness, which is what appears to be happening between you and your friend. A personal friendship is no different in this respect than a business, or any other kind of partnership. If you went into business with someone and agreed to split the work and the responsibilities and the profits, and then one partner failed to carry his share and left you to do all the work, then you would be steamed - right? You wouldn't think it fair to give him half of the profits because he hadn't lived up to his responsibilities - hadn't kept his part of the bargain. And you wouldn't think of yourself as selfish, would you?A friendship is no different. It's just that we rarely ever talk about the expectations we have in a friendship. But they're there. And fairness is a big part of being genuine friends. There have been studies with primates (monkeys, specifically), and even they value fairness in their relationships.Nothing selfish about this. So what you are looking for is is a way to set boundaries for your relationship with this person.How do you do that? You need to muster up your courage and be clear with her. When she next asks you to do something, you simply need to say, or email, "I'm sorry, but that won't work for me. Things have become too one-sided between us, and I'm uncomfortable about that. I'm going to wait until they are more in balance." And leave it at that, and see what happens. She will do one of three things. The best would be that she opens up a dialogue with you and the two of you can talk about the problem. Or, she will just get the hint and re-balance stuff. Or, she will go away and you will lose a relationship that isn't working for you on the current basis anyway. But this ability to "set boundaries" and be clear about your needs is a skill you need to develop and use throughout your life. So you might as well start here. Good luck!