How can I help my teenage daughter who is being bullied by adults?
It sounds like you need to have several conversations: with your daughter, and with the parents of her friends. Your daughter is accepting the conditions of the social world around her because it is her whole world. She doesn't have many alternatives, so it's either be friends with these people or be alone. She pretends the pettiness doesn't affect her, but it certainly does. When you are alone with your daughter, tell her that you see how other people are treating her and that you want her to know it has nothing to do with who she is and everything to do with them. Praise her for being strong and forgiving of people who hurt her feelings, but tell her it's also ok to stand up for yourself when you are being attacked--that rather than making you lonely, it may actually make other people respect you more. Tell her that no matter what you will always have her back and that she can always talk to you without fear of judgment or blame. Then you can set an example by having a frank conversation with the mothers (away from your daughter and her friends if at all possible). Tell them that, whether they like it or not, your children are friends, and that you need to act like adults, set aside your differences, and prioritize your children's happiness. Tell them that when you and your daughter host parties, their children will always be included, and that it really hurts you and your daughter to see her being left out. Tell them you will not stand for any disrespect of your daughter by any of them, for any reason. Your daughter is an integral part of the soccer team and is a kind friend. And then leave it at that. Host parties at your place. Host weekends where you take the girls out to do fun things. Bring the other girls into your lives as much as possible, as long as your daughter wants to be their friend. Be kind and welcoming to them. By being the kind of mother you wish the other mothers were, you will show them a different way. They may legitimately not know any better. You now have the opportunity to not only be a role model for your daughter, but for other women as well.
what would you do if you witnessed your kid being bullied by another overweight kid?
What does being overweight have to do with anything?Ok now that that’s out of the way, your son should be taught to defend himself, but a single punch from a 2–3 year old doesn’t warrant retaliation, in my opinion.I would have scolded the boy myself. I would go over and say “Hey, that wasn’t nice! Do not hit ok?!” I’ve done it before. Usually the child looks like they’ve never been reprimanded before.Just because the parents are unwilling to do anything doesn’t mean I have to sit there and watch. If the parents have a problem with me reprimanding their child, then that’s their problem.How old is your son? Best thing to do is remove your child from the situation and explain to him that the other child’s behavior was unacceptable and that we can’t control what others do. We can only control what we do.I tell my girl, not every child has the same manners as we do. Some just don’t know how to behave or maybe their parents didn’t teach them. They’re still learning, like we are. She understands.If someone pushes or hits my daughter, she tells them to stop. I don’t encourage her to hit back unless she needs to defend herself. Luckily, the only problems she’s had were isolated incidents caused by unruly kids with behavioral problems. I don’t see that as bullying..
I'm being bullied even though I'm an adult?
There is really nothing you can do! bullies are ones that do it for so many so-reasons. To attraction, get people to think that they are cool, or because somewhere during their growing up. They were picked on, or bullied to. They also have this thing that "do it to them...before they do it to you!". Bullies have this sense that they can some how sense who is the easy one. Do keep in mind! There are times no matter who you are! You do have to stand on your own 2 ft. & defend yourself. If they see you let them keep on doing it. The more they will. Do not let "anyone" change who you are. There are things that can change us. Don't let it happen! Learn and move on I have studied them. They love attention! You will meet other people who are bullies. You cannot avoid it. All you can do is learn how to handle them. People will always put down people! It is their way of trying to fit in. You will be surprised what people will resort to do just to fit in.
If my child is being bullied by another kid, can I report to the police?
Yes, though how the police respond will largely depend on what happened, where, how long it’s been going on, how the school has responded (if it’s at school), and whether the police officer in question believes in protecting kids from peer abuse. Many people don’t, whether they’re police officers or not. If your child was physically attacked in a way that left visible injuries, report it. That tends to be the most successful reason for the parents of peer abuse victims. For anything verbal, your best chance of success, that I’m aware of, is if it is happening at school or somewhere else that adults are in charge and the adults are willfully neglecting to intervene. This includes failure to properly protect your child after they have already been made aware of an issue. Document everything, including:what happenedwhat physical/psychological damage was donewhenwherewho was presenthow the adults in charge respondedyour conversations with the bully’s parents and how they respondedyour conversations with the school (or other organization) and how they responded, etc.Include photos of physical injuries. If you have video footage of any kind of abuse, include it also.Edit: This advice is not a representation of how serious abuse is or whether it’s illegal. It is serious and it is illegal. All forms of abuse are illegal—on paper. However, not all forms of abuse are treated justly in practice. Peer abuse is possibly the most under-represented area of abuse, societally and legally. Many lawyers/courts don’t want to handle cases against schools, while much of society will villainize you for daring to object. However, there are lawyers/courts that will handle cases—as long as you have the money and determination to wait out the school’s lawyer and as long as you have the aforementioned evidence in-hand. (Always keep the original copies for yourself.) If you have a good lawyer and a good judge, plus this evidence, there have been cases of peer abuse where the victim and/or victim’s family won.
What do you do when you catch another kid bullying your kid?
We lived at an apartment complex where a boy was seen shooting at 2 of my daughters with an Airsoft gun. He managed to hit one of my daughters. I confronted the boy, who was about 12 years old. I politely told him that he needs to stop shooting at my daughters. I also politely told him that if he continued, I would not be so polite, next time. Shortly, there was a knock at my door. It was the boy’s mother. She practically punched my door in, screaming through my closed door. I called the police. They escorted her back to her place and talked to the both of us, separately. It sounded as if the police officers agreed with the way I handled things… no need to start fights with adults when a stern warning to a child should suffice.The following week, I received a notice that my family was being evicted, due to “not fitting in with the culture of the community, therefore we would likely be happier elsewhere”. We were given 10 days to find alternate housing and move out. Somehow, we managed under such short notice. But, as it turned out, the boy that was seen shooting at my daughters was the son of an employee of the management company that owned the apartment complex that we called “home”. Word of my stern warning surfaced and went to the property manager. I told her my side of the story, but my side did not matter… we were evicted, end of story. We moved out and they were right… we are MUCH happier not being at that sh*thole of an apartment complex…So, long story short… I dealt with a bully by confronting him and it got my family evicted. Seems that bullying runs in that family…
What do you do when a child bullies other kids?
I was on a train going to work when a load of kids got on. This happens every day. Small kids take the train to school, some even as young as first graders in their huge, leather backpacks and uniforms, sometimes with a boater hat. They usually talk, giggle or just stand there until we reach their stop.One day I saw a boy, about 7 years old, push another boy out of the train door while we were on a long stop. The boy ran over to another door to get on only to be blocked by that same kid. I walked over as calmly as I could and asked him, “What are you doing?” He looked up at me surprised. I said simply, “He has a ticket right? Or a pass? He has a right to ride this train just as much as you do.”The boy was so surprised that an adult, and a foreigner at that, confronted him about doing something he knows he shouldn’t. Then I said, “Be nice.” He apologized and walked back to his friends. I tried not to make a big scene and I don’t know if I succeeded. I mean it was on a public train and everyone could see what this boy was doing. That fact that I was a lot bigger than him, didn’t berate him and gave him a reason as to why the boy could ride the train I hope played on his mind in these last couple of months. I have no idea if I have seen him since then, as a lot of kids ride the train. But he would easily notice me, that white guy sitting there amongst all those Japanese people at 7:00am.Nobody else did a thing.
Why do some of my friends bully me?
Yes, it sucks. If an adult assaults another then he goes to jail. The refusal of society to punish criminality in schoolboys leads to inner city gangs and high urban murder rates, as well as an occasional 'Columbine' crisis. It is one of the failures of our culture to deal with the issue. School is to you what a job is to an adult and personality conflicts at work cause adults to switch jobs if judicial action can not help. It is not so easy to switch schools; still that is the best choice. Few of the bullies in school will manage to avoid spending some time in jail as adults, if that is any consolation. All that said, you must stand up for yourself or you draw attacks. If you have a persistent enemy then look his family up in the phone book, go over there and ask around about them. Find out what his parents do for money. Find out about his siblings or relatives. When he bothers you mock his parents work and any failings in his relatives. Call him an idiot and say it is genetic, his family are such losers. He will hit you but the embarrassment will stop him in the future. As to physical confrontations, you say you can not fight and if you are a common target then that is the impression others have as well. This is a great advantage. It means there are low expectations and so all you need to do is draw blood or leave a bruise and you win. Scratch, bite, kick, or stomp on anything that you can reach. Hit first, it will be reckoned brave and go to your merit while he faces the disadvantage that hitting first for him is seen as kind of lame. Your enemy must beat you down and make you beg. If you can just keep insulting him and ignore the pain then you win. Victory for the underdog is a lot easier to gain than it is for a bully. One major confrontation that does not end with a clear victory for the bully will put an end to most of your persecution.