What do you do when your boyfriend makes you feel dumb? I’m having issues with self-esteem, and having him talk to me with arrogance every time I say something wrong is making me feel really bad.
These people rarely change & keep you baited just enough you start to believe that if YOU change, he’ll be nice. Spoiler alert: he won’t. He’ll just find an endless list of other things to berate you for so he can keep you feeling small and dependent on him.What you do is, you dump him ASAP & move on. Get help (eg therapy) if you can’t do it alone. Then you spend some time alone and figure out why you would even want to stay with someone who is abusive to you (because make no mistake, denigrating and controlling someone like this IS abuse). When you understand this better and have done some healing from the breakup, you can try dating again.( If you try dating without having figured out how to prevent yourself making such a bad choice again, you will just end up with a very similarly controlling and abusive bf) . Remember a lot of people have recovered from abuse-there is a lot of research & reading material out there, as well as a lot of support. Take advantage of other people's learning & wisdom. Best of luck!
Did My boyfriend ejucilate inside me? HELP ME ASAP !?
You know what they call girls who rely on the pull out method? Mom Seriously, make sure you are not smoking anything or drinking any alcohol. Tell your mother what you think is going on, as she will need to take you in to the doctor for an examination.
A thuggish boyfriend! help asap!
About a year ago i was pretty much in the same situation your in now. I was the good girl dating a guy who was the total opposite from me. He dressed all thug, drank to much, did drugs, sold drugs, in and out of jail, stole and always was getting into fights. The problem with my old relationship was the guy I was dating didnt want to change and didnt really see that he had a lot of problems. If he honestly wants to change and doesnt just say that so you stay with him (alot of guys like that do) then if I were you id try. Stay with him for a bit and see if he makes any effort to change. Whatever you do DONT join him. Dont start smoking or stealing with him. That will only hurt you in the long run. Dont let him bring you down. Try to bring him up with you. Whatever you do DONT have sex with him. Like you said you want to wait. The guy I was dating pressured me to have sex with him ALL the time and i just kept saying know and id even tell him off if he'd keep asking me. Eventually your boyfriend will stop if he sees you really mean no. If he loves you as much as he says he will respect you and your decision to not have sex. And dont ever let him have sex with someone else. If he loves you he will wait until your ready. You dont allow your boyfriend to have sex with someone else thats allowing him to cheat on you. I know its hard to be pressured by your boyfriend to have sex and i know its even harder when you love him too but dont do anything your not ready for and if i were you the last thing id do right now with this guy is have sex. Thugs are known to play girls and before you go giving it away to this guy you want to MAKE SURE you will be with him forever and that he does love you as much as he says he does. I hope this helps you hun Good luckk! : )
My boyfriend has anger problems, how should i deal with them?
my boyfriend gets angry/upset/annoyed over a lot of little things i do. and even if sometimes they are things he should be getting mad over he gets a bit tooo mad over it and at the end ends up regretting all the things he had said to me while he was mad. i could never say the things he says to me.. 1 because i wouldnt want to hurt him and wouldnt be able to.. 2 because he thinks he could say all the **** he wants to me but yet for some reason i cant cause even if i said the littlest thing to him it would become the biggest deal. he himself knows he has a problem but its something he cant change and something i cant deal with anymore but i'd rather live with it than live w.o him. i think to leave him but at the same time i cant do it. what can i do to help him relax and not be so sensitive because i cant take the yelling over eveeeery lil thing anymore.
Should I tell my boyfriend that my father beat me up when we had an argument? I am afraid he might judge my family’s background but at the same time, I'm too shaken up by this whole issue and needs someone to talk to. What should I do?
Your father beats you, so you need an adult to discuss this with and help you discern a way forward into safety. Be aware that sharing this information with adult teachers, pastors and counselors usually requires them to make this information known to Family Services. You are being beaten by your Father, so your life is at risk and you need to get help. The best help is an adult - a really really smart and persistent adult who will make the calls and stay by you as the process goes forward. I am so very sorry for your hard dilemma.As for your boyfriend or other friends, there is some danger to sharing this information. Some people are not trustworthy with our most intimate life events. Some people will use this to tease you, to gossip or spread lies about you. Some people will use this to make your already difficult life - worse. Others are just young and uninformed and may inadvertently “stir the pot” causing more family strife and more beatings. Be very careful if you share information.
My boyfriend got in trouble for domestic abuse because of me. I got in touch with his lawyer and he advised to write a letter. What should I write for bail conditions to be removed for my boyfriend?
I used to work with domestic violence issues. You’re operating under three false ideas.First, your boyfriend did not get in trouble with the police because of you. He got in trouble because they caught him breaking a law against assault.Second, even if you can work it out — and I warn you, the odds are very much against you — that has nothing to do with whether or not you needed to call the police. If you felt your life was in danger, or that he was going to harm you, it was necessary to call the police. That’s what they’re there for. People can die when their partner is out of control with anger. Whether or not they want to kill someone isn’t the determining factor. What they do is.Third, you got in touch with his lawyer, after he attacked you and was arrested. You have the right — and you should — have your own advocate; if not a lawyer, someone experienced in domestic violence law and in threats. That person is the best person to talk to about the events. With experience, they may be able to advise you what to do.Most larger towns have domestic violence centers — sometimes called battered women’s shelters, though usually not any more. Google for a name; if you don’t know any, call the police and ask for information, which usually they need to give you. (Police get funding for domestic violence issues through grants, usually, as well as standard city funding.) Explain you need to talk to an advocate.I can’t tell you if your problems with your boyfriend can be worked out. I can tell you that the typical pattern is that violence escalates over time, and that pattern only changes if there’s serious, professional intervention. I have known several women who were killed by men they thought would never, ever hurt them. Whether it’s alcohol that changes them, or they can’t control their own emotions, or anything else, you have a right to live your life in safety. It’s even more important to be certain there will be no harm to any child, or relative, you’re responsible for — and what you’ll do if that is a possibility.Good luck. — Kes
How to get out of trouble???? help plz asap!?
so i had a sleepover yesterday night, and my friend brought barbies for us to torture/play with. so we drew scars on them with makeup, and made a prison barbie. my little brother who is 10 grabbed one and started taping her legs shut. well, my parents didnt like it, and when my friend went to the bathroom, they started yelling at me. when she came back, i told my brother to play monopoly or something with her, since i was still in trouble. then my parents asked me if i thought it was fun torturing something and why i did it, and all those questions parents asked. and i just apologized over and over, promised i would never do it again, and told them that i thought it was harmless since it was a plastic doll. well, they got madder at that and asked me if it was fun and interesting torturing something that had a human shape. and i apologized, said what i did was very wrong, promised i would never do it again, would tell my friend and my brother not to do it, and everything. but still, they said that it didnt end here, and now im waiting for my parents to get home from work, and explode. i know theyre super mad, and im not looking for sympathy here, im looking for ways to get out of trouble asap. please help! i really need a way to get out of trouble!
Should I feel embarrassed for my mental health issues when my boyfriend has such bigger problems?
It's very, very typical of depression sufferers to be quick to judge themselves for trying to help themselves or get help. What you're thinking is perfectly understandable and perfectly irrational.Please, for both your and your boyfriend's sake, get help in the form of counseling ASAP. Depression, especially coupled with anxiety, tends to get worse and worse and causes one to become more and more avoidant of all sorts of things: responsibilities, taking care of one's self, and seeking and maintaining treatment.Your boyfriend has cancer, and that's a huge deal. I understand how in comparison your issues may seem miniscule. But believe me, your issues are at the core of your life, and can end up being just as destructive in some ways. Also, your boyfriend has cancer. No wonder you are depressed. Such an illness takes its toll on everyone involved, especially those closest.Don't let your brain and its recoverable illness trick you into thinking that you don't deserve help. You most certainly do, and you can do it.