My boyfriend's mother dislikes me; is there anything that I can do?
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months (we're both 17). His mother has never liked me. It's just him and her most of the time and they're very close. It’s gotten to a stage that it's interfering in his and my relationship. We're unable to stay at each others' houses (irritating but I can understand her view), and when I see her she is often openly hostile towards me - either putting me down or asking my boyfriend to keep me in one room so that she doesn’t have to see me. However I do realise that it must be odd to have someone else in the house after it's been him and her for so long. It's not even her dislike of me, it more that he won't stand up for me. Everything she says is The Law. I'm just wondering how I should deal with this, one criticism about their relationship and he becomes defensive? Am I overreacting, I’m only 17?
Is my boyfriend's mother interfering too much?
I think maybe that now that you guys have moved away, she is thinking of you and her son even more. ANd because you aren't there she is unable to help in your life by being there, so she feels the need to send you things. While she does sound like she is going overboard, I don't think her heart is int he wrong place. But I do think it is important that you are thankful toward her, but assure her that the two of you are getting by and don't need so much assistance. This will probably only be when your bf actually says to her that the two of you don't need so much help. My boyfriend's parents are always very keen to offer things, and I find that only when my boyfriend actually says no that they ever back off a little.
What do you do when your boyfriends ex-wife is interfering in your relationship?
Well first off...the ex sounds like she may have become a bit jealous by the relationship. She has a right not to like her daughter around you, but since they are no longer married, she can't tell her ex husband how and who to date. That being said, without being rude, the daughter should always come first in his life (especially now). But as it sounds (the way you have written it) he is more concerned with his daughters well being then you (and that is okay) but it also sounds like he may not have all that "strong" of feelings for you. If you are willing to wait it out and have no contact with his daughter for a while longer, then stay with him. But you also need to understand that the ex wife will be in his life basically forever. If you can't handle that, then you should find someone without the child drama or someone who's ex is not in the picture. Good luck.
Boyfriend's mother is interfering in our relationship: what to do?
I think some mums can´t help themselves. They are trying to protect the most precious person in their lives, yet they are doing quite the opposite without realising it. Possibly, every woman will be an enemy for his mum, because she´s trying to take him away from him. It´s very natural, although some mums just don´t know where to draw the line. This pressure can be hard on him, perhaps that´s why he´s keeping your kid as a secret. Don´t take offence by it, he probably thinks it´s not worth the headache she will give both of us! I suggest you confront her head on, but politely..Pay her a visit and show her you are a friend, try to show her how much you love him. You could even ask her if she has a problem with you, and why? I know this seems hard, but sometimes it´s best to just ask directly. Obviously talk to him before doing this, don´t do it behind your back. Also talk to him about how you feel, but don´t make him feel like you blame him! He´s probably having a harder time than you, I know by experience. :(
What to do when your boyfriend has a child with another woman?
I think you are being selfish the way you are thinking, that child deserves to have her daddy in her life, its not her fault that she was brought into this world by a fling and your man should step up to the plate and be this child's father after all he did help make her. Yes it is tough dealing with the baby drama but if you really love him you will learn to deal with it. As long as your boyfriend and the mother of his child only communicate for the child's needs i don't see why that should be a huge problem for you specially that you know they do have a kid together. It is Truly hard to deal with it i know because my boyfriend has two children with the same women and they were never married, but i love my man and i have gotten to know his kids and they are wonderful, I don't like the fact that he still talks to his ex but i do know its for the kids sake so i leave it be it's just something you have to deal with being with someone you love who has baggage. My man does pay a whole lot of child sapport and it does suck cause it puts us in dept, but i do realize his kids need that money to survive cause their mother doesn't work either and believe me i don't think a whole lot of her but i put up with her because i know she has his children. Sorry for going on and on about this but i know how you feel im kind of in the same boat as you are, but you also have to realize it's not just you in your relationship its the man you love and the child he helped make and if your love is strong enough for him you will make it through this.
Your boyfriend is at fault here. After reading the entire story I still can't believe they still manufacture guys like that but the harsh reality is that they do. Guys like these get old enough to make a girlfriend but will never be old enough to stop being their moms baby. He dated his previous girlfriend for an year and he could not safe her self respect from his own mother. How do you think that this guy is capable to protect you or that girl from rest of the world. Trust me it was a good riddance for the previous girlfriend. Try and understand he dated her for an year, while his mother was planning the breakup, forget her this guy could not stand up for himself or his relationship. He has no value for commitment. For him his mom is his last word no matter if that hurts him. This guy has no balls and will never go against his mother.Mother , father , friends. And relatives of a guy are never at fault. There are various kinds of people with various opinions and it's the sole duty of your man to how to stand as a shield for you and not let the world in general and his in specific to hurt or harm you and clearly this guy is not capable of that. If he can not stop his mother from interfering at such deep levels into his life and yours right now he won't take actions even after you are married and trust me girl that's horrible to face. Can your parents go about asking about this guy at this level of your relationship ? Of course they can't and they won't because A. It's not necessary and B. It's not right and C. You won't let them and this guy has allowed his mother to do all the investigation and is doing nothing about it and interference of this level only at the relationship stage is not only over intrusion but also insane. I think talking to your boyfriend will also not help coz if he could not do anything last night he won't do this time too. This guy will always be old enough to make babies but will never be old enough to stop being one. So please think wisely because handeling such mothers and sons like these seems easier at first but later when actual decision making , sense of responsibility , your self respect , your existence will search him he will never be around.
Your brother may not like the idea of another man potentially bringing up his daughter, but in short no he can't do anything about it, unless he has good reason and can prove that the boyfriend is a danger to his daughter, or the mother is negligent with the daughters care.Speaking from experience, the best thing for him to do, is work with the mother to establish ground rules, and continuity of care, access, maintenance, this means, praise, discipline, punishment, and reward systems operating the same accross both families.Looking on the positive side his daughter could have 3 positive parents in her life. The relationship may not work out, but at least his daughter will still have both parents and continuity in her life, that is more important than anything else.It's not going to be easy but, he will get nowhere thinking of ways to disrupt the situation, because he doesn't like the way it is going, this will only drive a wedge between them and him.I hope this goes a little way to helping him come to terms with the situation.
I am currently in the same situation and I can tell you it won't be easy. It is hard enough dealing with the ex when they aren't being rude. My boyfriend's ex-wife and mother of his two kids has given her one year old a diaper rash on purpose to make my boyfriend look bad. She has also sent me scathing messages because we are together. The best advice I can give you is to remain the better person and be as polite as possible. The ex is going to be around so long as there is joint custody, and if you are going to be in the child's life as well you are going to be dealing with her for the rest of your life. Don't make things more difficult by being caddy or rude to her because it will only make things worse for you and your boyfriend. Hopefully she will realize that she needs to grow up and put the past behind her for the sake of the child, but sometimes people aren't capable of that. Also realize that she may be jealous of you being with her ex and your role in her child's life. Show her that you can be trusted to be a good parent and that you only want the child to be cared for and loved. Don't talk down about her or complain with your boyfriend because it will only stress him out more by making him think of how difficult it is going to be juggling you two. Step up and show him that you can handle his ex and you respect that she is the mother of his child, and that he had a reason for picking her.
You've answered your own question.If it makes you feel sad, you know its a bad idea.Not to be judgy, but the dude is a jerk. He is taking advantage of your feelings to pop his cork, which leaves you on the out side looking in.Don't do it. If he has no respect for his current arrangement, that is on him. But if you send the pics, you are aiding and abetting the situation. A friend of mine did something similar. Her light of love got caught with the pics, and she got harassed by his outraged gf, who was told that he never asked for them. They were just something some “skank” decided to send.