It's your own personal choice. If you feel it ok to take wine as communion then go ahead. Straight edge is about your own personal choice not a bunch of rules that every single person must follow exactly. The "no drinking, no drugs, no promiscuous sex" thing serves as a guideline for living.
Do you think it's good or bad for parents to reinforce heteronormativity in conversation in their children?
My children have two biological uncles who are gay. They have been raised from a small age to understand that some people are gay. 1 in 10 are, and in their world, it may be even more. I took my kids to a commitment ceremony at a young age and have made other opportunities to educate them. I see no reason to not tease your kid about the opposite sex because, 9 out of 10 of them are going to be straight. It is like those people that claim, "I'm not racist, but my dog is..." - your children pick up from your cues even if you say the right things. If a person is indeed OK with people who are gay lesbian, bisexual and transgender as well as straight people, then the children will know and trust them if and when they figure out what it is that they are with regard to their sexuality (which doesn't occur for everyone in the same way. Little boys who are later identifying as gay often have very real crushes on little girls. Their hormones are not expressing an adult sexuality as yet. Take your cues from the child - if he or she is not liking it, then stop, but don't assume its because they are LGBT or anything from it. That is not their developmental stage. And even if they develop crushes on the same sex, again, it is not really an indication of anything, nor is dressing as the opposite sex at such a young age. What causes suicide is self-loathing, not the bullying itself. When every person in their world is against the very essence of their being, they internalize a self-loathing that could kill them when they are young and may last a lifetime if left unexamined. The conversations at the kitchen table as I was growing up leave me wondering how my two brothers survived - and both had a period of extensive drug use. My parents constantly made horrible comments about LGB people, and even worse for T. My brothers grew up hearing this, only to go to school and hear the same thing. That is what is soul crushing and make it appear that life is not worth living. A child's life is sometimes very, very small, and they do not know that there are wonderful people out there once they are able to get away, and their "secret" is so scary to share that they cannot discover who would be kind and supportive right there in their own house, school, community. The perfect storm.
Is there a patron saint of gay people?
Well, let’s see here… There’s no patron Saint of gay people specifically, because the Church has never taken an official position on whether “gay” is an intrinsic characteristic of a person, or merely a label for a particular kind of temptation some people suffer (note: before anyone drags me into an argument about this, I’m saying there’s no official position either way - as is common with many “open questions”).But here’s some potential options (with links for further reading, so that I don’t have to give a mini-bio of each and every one of them):Sts. Benedict, Benezet, Boniface of Tarsus, Caesarius of Nanzianzen, Casimir of Poland, Christopher, Cuthman, Epipodius, Gerald of Aurillac, and Guy of Anderlecht are all patrons of bachelors (since a celibate gay man will be a bachelor by definition, and “confirmed bachelor” was once the preferred euphemism for a gay man).St. Agnes of Rome is a patroness of chastity and “bodily purity.” (Though she’s a virgin martyr, so maybe not quite the personal resonance you’re looking for for a celibate gay man.)St. Thomas Aquinas is also, in addition to his better-known patronage of scholars and theologians, a patron Saint of chastity. There’s no evidence to suggest that he experienced same-sex attractions, but at least he’s a male chastity Saint, if that helps.The patron Saint of (chaste, platonic) friendships is St. John the Apostle.Sts. Angela of Foligno, Catherine of Siena, Margaret of Cortona, Mary of Edessa, Mary of Egypt, Mary Magdalene, Mary Magdalen of Pazzi, and Pelagia of Antioch are all patrons against sexual temptations.Of course, a prayer to Mary will never go amiss. The Blessed Mother whom Jesus gave to us in adoption is everything any child (and we’re all children) could want in a mother, by the grace of God within her - she will understand whatever your friend is struggling with, will never, ever love you any less no matter what you bring to her, and will pray for you and with you for the grace of her Son.I’m no Saint, but I’ll pray for both of you, too.
My parents call my girlfriend my roomate... advice?
they've known that i'm gay for about 7 years at least. I've been with my girlfriend for 3, and we've lived together for over a year. They always said, "we don't have a problem with you being gay, we love you however you are." BUT... they never call her my girlfriend. always by her first name and often as my "roomate." I think they are afraid what relatives and friends might think. (though i get a vibe from my relatives that they all know i'm gay, too) however, tonight on the phone my dad called my girlfriend my "roomate" and it was a one on one conversation, me and him. What is up with this? It makes me upset. But I don't want to criticize them too hard. I'm flying out to visit them in 2 days, so what could I say to them to make them understand?
Would you marry a woman who refused to take your last name (in a country where that is customary)?
I'll take the opposite side in the argument.A marriage is the single most important commitment two people can make, often leading to the most important commitment anyone can make, which is bringing a child into the world. Like the rings on the fingers, like the public ceremony uniting them, having the same last name says to the world, "We are together, we are a family, we are committed to each other above all others."When I married my wife I said " 'til death do us part, for better or worse, in sickness and in health." To me this means I will never touch another woman, I will work until I drop to provide for her, I will protect her (and my children) with my life if necessary. I'll take care of her when she's sick, I'll put her needs before my own, I'll love her unconditionally and unselfishly until the day I die. I think both of us having the same last name (hers or mine) is an essential part of making this statement to the world. It says, "We're in this together." In the US, it's traditional for the bride to keep her family name as her new middle name. That's more than enough honor to her father and mother.This has nothing to do with the "growing independence of women." If a woman (or a man) wants to be fully independent, then she (or he) should never marry as marriage is by nature giving up some independence for a greater purpose, be that raising children, creating a life together, or simply - and beautifully - love.
Is my recruiter trying to screw me over? please help!?
im 18, i live in illinois and trying to get into the army. i haven't picked a job yet because my options are limited and i want to make sure i pick the right one. i haven't sworn in yet or signed my contract. there is a ceremony being held soon and my recruiter told me i have to go. how can i be sworn in if i haven't picked a job yet? i want them to call "roc" (the place they call to ask for a reservation if they don't see one in the system) and see if they have it available in the coming months. if not, i want to wait until they do. the fact i have to swear in at the ceremony is worrying me. if i swear in, am i committed to the army where i can't back out or negotiate further and can they pick my job for me? or am i only committed once i sign the contract? they can't make me pick a job i don't want or trick me into committing too soon, right? i know if i piss them off too much they may not want to help me get the job, so i don't know what to do. please help
What is the difference between a marriage and a wedding?
A wedding is a ceremony - one that lasts 5 mins or 5 days depending on how you choose to do it.A wedding is all about the food, wines, bridal wear, and flowers!A marriage is the outcome of the ceremony, and hopefully lasts longer!Some examples, that should clarify the meaning:The drunk uncle threatened to ruin the wedding.Improve your marriage by spending more time with each other.Marriage sometimes can also mean the ceremony. The marriage was conducted at the Plaza.In such cases, it is likely to be called a marriage ceremony.Jack attended his friend's marriage ceremony.But a wedding is never used except to mean the ceremony. For example, their wedding lasted 50 years is plain wrong - unless the actual ceremony lasted 50 years! But you can say that they were wed for 50 years. Which basically means that they were married for 50 years.Marriage can also be used to mean a merger.Example: The marriage of traditional and modern instruments in his music is magical.In a lot of senses, Brad and Angelina were married before their wedding day!
Do gay/lesbian couples wear their wedding rings on the right hand?
I suppose that anyone could wear any ring on any finger they wanted. However, we prefer to wear our wedding rings on our ring finger on our left hand.
What is your opinion on homosexual civil unions? What is your opinion of the gay community in general?
I'm a homosexual. My boyfriend and I are planning to have a civil union with one another-preferably a public civil union ceremony with other homosexuals attending alongside us. We want to have a public ceremony to help increase the visibility of the gay community. Where would I look to find such a thing? What is your opinion of civil unions? What do you think of the gay community in general?