How do I forgive my mother for hurting me repeatedly, when she doesn't think it was wrong? I broke off contact, but I crave a relationship with her.
This question is very timely for me right now.Two days ago, I spoke with my mother on the phone after almost three years of no contact.She was physically abusive during my childhood and mentally and emotionally abusive throughout my adult years.There’s an example in Kittie Eubank's answer to What's the worst thing your parent has ever said to you?In 2013 I decided enough was enough, and I cut her off.There is no room in this life I have created for someone who only sows negativity and hurt.She tried to contact me a few times over the years and I blocked her. That didn’t stop her from showing up in my dreams, though.I knew that being estranged from me was very painful for her. She doesn’t understand it at all; she thought we were close.Even though before I cut off contact I tried several times to talk to her about specific instances of abuse, she never could see that she did anything wrong.It was always my fault - I was being selfish. I took it wrong. She did it for my own good.So why did I call her two days ago?She texted me, about a week before that. She said she was sorry for everything she ever did to hurt me.There was no guilt-tripping or finger-pointing. Just an apology and a request to reestablish a relationship.After much thought and seeking counsel from people I trust, I decided to reach out and give her another chance.I have firm boundaries in place, and if she crosses them I am prepared to break off contact permanently.But if she is in a place now where she can be a part of my life, I will accept that.It will never be the same. I don’t think I can ever trust her. I don’t look forward to speaking to her again. She will never understand the harm she did.I called her for her, not for me. But that’s okay.So for you, OP, I would say….You can forgive your mother by letting go of the active resentment for what she did to you.Holding onto unforgiveness only hurts you - it doesn’t affect her at all.However, even after you have forgiven, you must be careful to guard your heart. Don’t let her into your life if she brings more negative than positive.It is hard. We want to have mothers who love and support us. Sometimes, though, they are incapable of doing that.Surround yourself with people who bring you joy, who lift you up and love you.Forgive your mother because it will release that tight ball of resentment writhing in your gut - you don’t need that.
I can't stand the sound of my mothers voice almost all the time. Do you think I am a horrible person for this?
I have lived with my parents for 26 years. I love them very very much HOWEVER sometimes there are times when the last thing I want to hear is the sound of her my mothers voice. It literally pierces through me. I know I am very lucky to have a mother in my life, bc I know there are people out there without one. I should be glad to hear every syllable she has to say, but I can't help but feel the opposite sometimes. She is just soooo annoying sometimes!!! I am getting ready to move out of my house into one of my own so I am sure this issue will be better soon, but I do work with her and am not sure if anyone else has felt this way as I do. Am I a horrible daughter for feeling this way?? Anyone have any advice or any input?
Help on my life please!!!!?
okay i am very unhappy living with my dad and my horrible step mother at home. i am here visiting my mom and i have noticed how unhappy i really am. i want to stay here but then again i want to give my dad a chance to be a father. i want to tell him how i really feel about my step mom but if he slips i could get into some huge trouble. that is when i would call my mom...call cps...or wait to go to school to talk to my councelor and tell them i am being abused. the problem is that my dad has no idea when he is at work how my step mom really acts towards my brother and sister and i...mostly my brother and i though. another problem is that when i go home on aug2 then i would tell my dad...and i wouldnt go back to school until the 15 of aug. my point is that if he slipped i would have to live in hell until i went back to school. what should i do? i am going to cps tomorrow to know what to expect and to ask questions. i still need some advise from people who care about what i am going thru.
HELP...My mom deserves a better life!!...what should i do?
MY mom is kind, nice, caring, loving, smart etc. but she has a horrible life. Her life is full of a job that makes her work really hard, a horrible husband that always puts her down and swears, a child who thinks only of herself and always fights.. My mom deserves a way better life than this, ....i want to make her life better I don't know why god does these things??... She's crying right now because her mom lost her wallet and my dad won't let us send money to my grandma and she's crying becuase my older sister had a horrible fight with my mom where my sis called her fxxing bxxtch.. I really want to do something for her>>.but what?? Note that I'm 13 and have only about 800$ in my bank account
If not Borderline Personality disorder, then what?
My 22 year old niece flies into uncontrollable rages when interacting with her mom, (my sis) but does not have many of the traits usually associated with BPD like fear of abandonment etc. She just treats her mother horrible and downgrades her terribly, really mean. I think she has some kind of disorder, what else could it be?