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Can You Fix This Essay

Can you fix my essay?

James Ramsey Ullman has created two memorable characters in his brief story “Top Man.” Martin Nace and Paul Osborn are two unforgettable characters that are equivalent, yet contrasting in many ways. They are both experienced mountain climbers, with the common goal to climb the mountain Kalpurtha, also recognized as K3. This gigantic frame of rock is situated in the Himalayas, with an altitude of 28,900 feet. Kalpurtha is made up of sedimentary limestone. Martin Nace, Paul Osborn and eight other mountain climbers have hopes of climbing Kalpurtha; the forth-highest peak in the world, located in India.
Martin Nace and Paul Osborn have many differences. Paul is a young twenty three year old American gentleman, he has just come out of college and is anxious to climb the mountain. Plus, he is very straight forward, arrogant, annoying, and stubborn. He is not concerned about his or anyone’s safety, but he feels that Nace is old and doesn’t have what it takes anymore. He has experience from the Rocky Mountains and alp’s. He is very talkative and enthusiastic. He is a wonderful person to watch, consequently he inspires the rest of the group! At the end of this short story he changes his attitude, and ends up climbing the mountain for Nace.
Both Paul and Nace look at their lives from different perspectives. Martin Nace is an old British man climbing Kalpurtha (K3) for his best friend Captain Furness. He has experiences with K3 and climbed it six times. Nace is Nobel, trustworthy and self-sacrificing, whilst also being a great deal more cautious and careful than Paul. Nace is quick thinking, and uses this skill to plan strategically.
Nace makes sure everyone always is and stays safe, and in addition to Nace's caring behaviour, he had died trying to save Osborn’s life.
As you can understand “Top Man” is an exciting yet depressing story of friendship and courage. Kalpurtha is shown to be very important to Nace and Osborn. Life lessons were taught, self-sacrificing was made and happiness and sadness were granted. Nace and Osborn are two unusual characters with similarities and differences, without one another they would have not gotten as far as they did.

I HAVE GONE OVER THIS AND CHANGED AND TWEEKED PARTS- BRILLIANT ESSAY- I PROMISE I HAVE CHANGED A FEW WORDS AND ADDED SOME PUNCTUATION.<3<3

What would you do to fix this English essay?

In recent years, with the standard of living improving in our country, people have become more susceptible to health problems such as hypertension, obesity and heart diseases, caused by bad habits (i.e. smoking, sedentary lifestyle). In today's society, many people die young as a result of heart related diseases. So, heart diseases are no longer the diseases of the aged only, young adults should also keep an eye out for them. Nowadays, the rich are busy making money, have a stressful lifestyle  and forget to take care their body. They always believe that their bodies are  strong enough to cope up. Once the illness onsets, it could turn out to be a serious disease that may be hard to cure. All these diseases are caused by unhealthy lifestyle.Not eating vegetables, lack of exercise, and smoking are some of the factors that increase the risk of these diseases. In order to prevent them, one must take more exercise, abstain from smoking and have a  regular diet. It’s the only effective way.

How do I fix this English essay?

There is a bit to fix in this short essay. Much of the problem is confusion between adjectives and nouns ("nervous" versus "nerves") or verbs ("curing" versus "curative") and when to use which. In a few places you are also missing articles ("a" and "the") or you're missing conjunctions that we'd normally use, such as "or", or the "to be" words like "is" that may be missing from your native language. Some other issues are a matter of style. For example, you would avoid words like "bad" in this context and instead use "negative". It's also common to use the word "anxiety" instead of "nerves" or "tension". There are some instances where you've used the same word many times in a short period of time, which English speakers try to avoid. Also there is a little bit of flow issues between paragraphs: paragraphs should try to stick to one topic each and not jump too wildly from one to another or repeat each other.I've included a corrected version below (my changes in italics). I've tried not to change it too much, except where the grammar or language is too far from what I'd expect in this sort of essay. The last sentence in particular was difficult to understand and I took a guess at what you meant.Surgery and fear Medical treatment often adopts surgery to patients for whom surgery is disadvantageous. They will have negative feelings for the coming surgery, such as nerves or fear, which may have negative effects on the healing process and result.Surgery is generally one of two kinds operations: diagnostic, or curative. These have effects on patients, both physically and mentally.  Negative emotions may lead to serious reactions (e.g. hypertension and shortness of breath) which could influence the results and process, or even result in a medical accident. When the surgery is finished, some patients are still nervous or anxious, especially those who have a malignant tumor. However, some are happier when the pain is eliminated by the surgery. If given sufficient comfort by doctors the patients would have lower anxiety levels.Emotional issues from surgery can be controlled and prevented. Giving instructions to the patient about emotional self-control before surgery could help  to reduce the effect of anxiety on the surgery.

Can you fix my essay?

Mother nature can be kind. She may bless your picnic with sunny weather and a cool breeze but she can also rain on your wedding day, or destroy all you care for in fires, hurricanes and other destructive ____ [note: yeah, how about floods?]. Nature is a force that many people face in their day-to-day lives, and it is a force that the two narrators in “To Build a Fire” by Jack London and “ The Essence of a Man” by Alan Sullivan struggle against. In the harsh winter climates of the arctic north both men struggle in a battle to stay alive. The men are both cursed with blinding determination that causes them to suffer in the end, but each man handles their similar situation differently, which sculpts them into two different people.

Can you fix my draft essay? please help me?

as writing, reading, adjusting, motor coordination, and negotiating, etc. They tell them to match what their work. The student discovers finally her/his new gold of True Color. It is conventional, feels more comfortable and loyal. Really, it has a responsibility for its good action. It is smart by leading rules and regulations.
The students get to understand their career choice better through the Micro Skills and True Colors programs.
The students should know how to get to the website of www.Eurake.org for their career choice. It is important to get understand their majors. Eureka encourages them to choice their best major. It has three things: self-assessment (True Colors and Micro Skills); career (Employments); education (Colleges and Universities). These help the student to plan his/her major. If they spend their time utilizing it, the students will make better choice of majors.
The students have dreamt about a major of an electrician. The students really are interested in fixin

Can someone help me and tell me what I need to fix on this essay like grammer wise.?

Here are some grammar corrections, but many of your sentences just do not make sense, and they are not saying anything. For example, your first sentence you say that Rip Van Winkle had many different characteristics of American myths, but you do not give any examples. You need to give at least 2 examples of those characteristics.

The story of Rip Van Wrinkle has many different characteristics of American myths. The author describes things from different perspectives. {{I can not help on this next one because I have no idea what you are trying to say.}} Having your own opinion and your own imagination but still you understand what is going on in the story. Washington Irving gives the reader different types of creations. Rip Van Winkle has many characteristics that relate to different types of American myths. The story took place before the American Revolution.
This story takes place in New York. The man, Rip Van Winkle, fell asleep in the woods, and woke up twenty years later. There was a green hill that Rip and his dog, Wolf, came across {{The next part doesn't make sense either. I don't know what you are trying to say.}} to when there was a little old man leading Rip and Wolf 'his dog' to an unknown place surrounded by perpendicular precipices.
When Rip was lead by the unknown old man to what was the amphitheater. To cause Rip taste the alcohol he carried, but there was a consequence which was twenty years taking away from Rip. It was all unexpected for him. The story came out soon about Rip being gone for that long 20 years. It was a shock to everyone.
Washington Irving is the author of Rip Van Winkle. This story tells the readers of amazing characters and places. {{Tell the characters that you thought were amazing, or the places that you enjoyed.}}
There is so much imagination in this story.{{Give 1 or 2 examples of the imagination in the story.}}The myths in this story are different and original in many ways. {{Give 1 or 2 examples of how it is different and original.}} This story grabbed my attention with {{Write how it grabbed your attention.}}and mystery that is going through the reader's mind.

Proof read my essay and help me fix it JROTC?

i know this isnt anywhere near a good essay but its due tomorrow in the morning soo can you please help me fix the punctuation and help finish the last paragraph


I joined Army JROTC because, I wanted to be apart of a team that people respect and honor. I also wanted to wear the uniforms and have a JROTC t-shirt. I also wanted to join because I know it could help me later in life.
The first reason I joined is because people respect and honor the JROTC cadets. I also wanted to be apart of a team that actually met something and could learn about leadership. I also joined this class because it is easy to make new friends.
The second thing that really drew me to this class is the uniforms. I remember when I was in middle school and we would pass the high school on the way to school and I would see the JROTC cadets in there uniforms and I wanted to be like them. I also remember going to football games and seeing the cadets in there JROTC t-shirts and I really wanted to be apart of that team that people looked up to like I did.
The final reason I joined is because I want to join the military after high school.

Can you say "Their" or "They" In a essay?

The rule of thumb in a formal essay is don't write in first person, and don't address the reader directly (ie. don't say "you"). It is alright to refer to people in general, so the use of "they" and "their" is alright.

Here is an example from an essay I wrote:

"Emerson believes that the majority of people are uneducated – have not become, and will not become thinking individuals. They instead search for a person, a hero, to follow and emulate."

You can also refer to a non-specific person to illustrate a point. Such as (in this example I use the word parent instead of person):

"A parent may tell their child Santa Claus is real because the parent thinks belief in the false concept of Santa has the positive effect of assisting their child in developing his imagination. In this way, they are knowingly teaching something false to bring about a good, beneficial change."

I hope this helps. Good luck :)

Can anybody help fix my language errors in my essay?

Here ya go, no charge (who's your best new buddy?):What is your most significant challenge?Although I'm good at generating ideas, I struggle with persuading others to support my proposals, especially in terms of garnering the support of senior management.I can clearly recall the day my department head called me into his office, offered his appraisal of my audit plan, which incorporated some rather advanced data analysis techniques, but he ended our discussion with a firm "No."He was not convinced that my audit plan had enough merits to approve it.After a few similar disappointments, I realized that I need to sell my ideas better, or I concluded that I will not realize my ambitious career goals at Bayer. I sought out and studied the best auditor’s work I could gather, and spent long nights studying them.I then realized that I'd had a missing piece in my earlier proposals: I had overlooked the unique values that I bring to my work. How can I expect support from my dept. head if he fails to see the benefits of my plans?This simple but the most important notion in my career planning led to the following moves:I improved my proposals, emphasizing the positive impacts they'd have on my department and I specified every valid argument that I could add to my proposals to prove them. I also included many charts and tables, spent time making my proposals vividly colored and expertly formatted, and as concise as possible (after noticing higher management spent more time discussing the data in charts and tables than the narratives).With these improvements, I've availed myself of some opportunities to lead budget-management projects, and have impressed my department head on many occasions. In fact, a copy of his most-recent performance appraisal and (I might add his glowing) letter of recommendation is attached.

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