Can you help me edit and revise my college essay?
You need a major re-write. Hard to believe you aspired as a 7 y o. Too much unnecessary stuff, and poor word choices. Also no need for the blow by blow of what you did to succeed (5 8 hr classes). You mentioned the scorching hot day, but idk what you did that day. Do not use contractions. COULD HAVE ...
Please help me edit and revise my college essay?
Negativity. Just the word sounds horrible. The world to day seems to look at the glass as half empty rather than half full. When is there time for happiness in these peoples lives? They seem to be waiting for the next big thing when we should be celebrating whats in front of us. The world need to see through different eyes. The world needs to see through eyes like mine. I am unique because I am an optimist. I seem to view the everything as my own. This doesn’t mean I don’t understand global catastrophic issues going around the world. Simply, I am happy, I smile, 99.99% of the day, and I enjoy laughing. I laugh long and hard not only because something is sparingly, but because it makes me feel amazing to. I am signature because I find the light in a burnt out light bulb. In my school I don’t tend to care about size, color or gender, I focus on personality. The ones that tend to glow and inspirer are the people I want in my life. Why surround yourself with such negativity? If your looking for new I am iindividual because I am Camden Lehr. There is no other like me. I am a ball of light the looks forward to the future. I can’t wait for next month or the weekend or tomorrow because I will be alive and happy ready to handle anything life throws at me. I am an individual. I am my own. I am Camden Lehr. The essay question: What makes you a unique individual? Is this a good start or should i start from scratch?
•◘○Can you help me edit and revise my essay•◘○?
•◘○Can you help me edit and revise my essay•◘○? ***this is just the beginning*** I dont know what to say after My life is my life. No matter how people may envy it or hate it, it is unique and it made me the person i am today. I am shy, patient, random, nervous, happy, responsible, scared, thoughtful, hardworking, and at times, stubborn. All of these characyeristics have been sewn into me by my family, home, and the life that i have lead. Im eight years old, the trees are changing, and ive got my big coat on. I laugh and run with my baby sister on the way home. I grew up in a pretty house and i had space to run and play. I've never had anything bad happen to me and I know how lucky I am, and whenever I'm having a rough day I remember that other people have it worse and I should not be complaining. I dont know what to do next and dont think these 2 paragraphs are good
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Can someone help me revise my college essay?
It might help if you included the prompt you're answering in your question. If you're supposed to be writing about a current issue and why it's important to you, then it's a solid effort. Personally, though, I'd like to see fewer general arguments in favor of gay marriage and more details about your relationship with your brother, plus maybe a specific instance where you've had to defend him - since who you are as an individual should almost always be the critical part of the essay, regardless of the prompt.
Can you help me edit and revise my essay please?
It got cut off so this is the rest: There are various comparisons between this court case, Nothing but the Truth, and Memorial Middle School. In both situations the boys knowingly and continuously brake a school rule. Phillip Malloy, the main character in the story, disrespectfully hummed the Star Spangled Banner while it was being played on the school announcement system. Every day, before the teacher played the anthem they told the students, “Please stand respectfully and silently.” Wanting to irritate his homeroom teacher, Ms. Narwin, Phillip knowingly violated this rule for three days before she sent him to the principal’s office. Although Zachary, in contrast, probably didn’t know he was breaking a rule for the first two months, the day after the field trip in which he was prevented from going to because of his shirt, he wears the shirt again. Just as if he magically lost his memory about the incident the other day! In both schools, Harrison High (Nothing but the Truth) and Willi
Can you edit/ revise this essay for UCF?
If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances. #1- There have been many bumps in the road in my life, just like anybody else, but only one really stays in my mind. Seven years ago, my brother and I angered my father with our usual antics. My father responded by reaching for the nearest belt and screaming wildly. Normally my brother would run into his room, and I would hide in mine, and lock the door, waiting for his anger to simmer down. However, this day was different; he caught us. I got stung in the butt and scurried off to tend to my wound. My brother, Matt, faced the wrath of my furious frenzied father. In the bathroom, I heard more screaming, banging, and what sounded like a door being slammed. I later discovered that my Mother has stormed out of the house and drove off. The battle was over. I had a welt shaped like Cuba=2 0and my brother suffered a spanking and a severely bruised ego. My mother had gathered strength, returned, and gave my dad an ultimatum. He was to go to anger management or leave the house until he could be trusted. He chose to leave, being stubborn as usual. I will never forget watching his truck pull away, wondering if I would ever see him again. I cried. For Christmas, I had hopes that my father would return, as to not break the venerated tradition of opening presents. Unfortunately, I had to help change the locks on all the doors, and my hopes were dashed as quickly as they had begun to grow. He was gone over a month. Upon his return, he immediately began anger management. Because of this experience, I have learned to respect what I have, and take nothing for granted. I learned that “I love you” means so much to people and that just being there can make all the difference. My father has turned my into a thankful, humble and mild-mannered person, because of the ordeal I went through in watching him hurt the people he loved most. Any help is appreciated, and i don't like the beginning.
Could you please edit/revise my essay?
Dedication is the secret of success for many athletes. Many athletes strive to become the best at what they do. The historic athletes of the last century went above and beyond the others, and thats because of their dedication to the game. Commitment plays an important role in determining victory or defeat. It also determines whether or not the person will survive. Serious athletes are committed to their sport because it is their career. These people work hard and never stop, often putting their social lives aside and living and breathing the game that they play. Never giving up and always pushing themselves, these people are the ones who will prosper. Training and conditioning the body is all part of the secret. Athletes must be able to deal with the physical pressures and beatings that their body's take. Building lean muscle and learning the moves is half the battle. The other half is the mental training an athlete must complete. Always staying positive, never giving up and believing in themselves can determine whether they go home a winner or a loser. Both physical and mental training are part of the winning recipe. Discipline is an uphill battle. Controlling emotions and thinking before acting isn't easy. Following a strict diet and resisting the temptation to eat foods that aren't healthy is all part of the lifestyle. Taking shortcuts isn't the way to go. Using drugs to enhance one's performance will only hurt the person in the long run. Learning to discipline themselves, and go that extra mile, take the long way, and learn from the mistakes one makes will definitely make them better players. Always stay focused and reach for the top. GOOD LUCK TO YOU. I HOPE THAT HELPS.