Homework Help Revising Paragraph?
Revise the following poorly written message. It suffers from wordiness, indirectness, and confusing instructions. Include a numbered list in your revision, and be sure to improve the subject line. Prepare this as an e-mail message or as an internal memo. TO: All Staff Members FROM: Roy Minami, Manager DATE: July 11, 201x SUBJECT: COPIER RULES Some of you missed the demonstration of the operation of our new Turbo X copier last week. I thought you might appreciate receiving this list of suggestions from the salesperson when she gave the demonstration. This list might also be helpful to other employees who saw the demo but didn’t take notes and perhaps can’t remember all these pointers. It’s sometimes hard to remember how to operate a machine when you do it infrequently. Here’s what she told us to do. There are two paper loading trays. Load 8 ½ 3 11-inch or 8 ½ 3 14-inch paper in the two loading trays. The paper should curve upward in the tray. You should take your copy and feed it into the machine face up. However, if you have small sheets or book pages or cut-and-pasted copy, lift the copier door and place your copy facedown on the glass. Before you begin, select the number of copies to be made by pressing the touch selector panel. Don’t push too hard. If copies become jammed, open the front door and see where the paper got stuck in the feed path. Remove jammed paper. Oh yes, your meter must be inserted before the machine will operate. We urge you, of course, to make only as many copies as you really need. Keep this list to use again. Don’t hesitate to call on me if you need a private demonstration. Need Help Revising. Teacher told us to put the steps in bullet form. I'm an ESL student not sure how to.
Please help me revise this paragraph!!?
It all started when I looked out my window and saw the thing tramping up and down on my car. I got a broom and went outside to shoo it away, but that didn't work. So then I asked the tentacle-covered thing to come inside for chocolate chip cookies. It ate fifteen cookies and drank five glasses of milk. It says its name is Cthulhu. I hope it goes away soon...
Can someone revise my short paragraph, tell me if it's any good, and give me some tips? 10 pts for best answer?
it's really short and i just wanna see what people think of it. could someone help me think of a good concusion, and a good title. and is it any good for a ninth grade honors english level? oh somemore insite on what this is, its a response to literature for the story a "christmas memory" by truman capote, if anyone else has read that in their english class. all answer appreciated =) thnx! In “A Christmas Story” by Truman Capote, Mr. Haha Jones and the relatives add depth and complication to the plot. For example Mr. Haha Jones’s is known throughout the town to be a cold, mean person, but this is found to be false, after Buddy and his cousin go to his house to buy whiskey, where he treats them kindly and refuses payment for the whiskey and asks instead for them to make him a fruitcake. He adds a moral to the story, don’t listen to everything you here and don’t judge a book by its cover. Furthermore, Mr. Haha Jones seemed to have felt sorry for Buddy and his cousin, after they tried paying him in nickels and pennies, which reveals further into their financial situation. Another example is the relatives yelling and criticizing Buddy’s cousin, after she gives him whiskey. The relatives bring reality into their lives, showing them that life isn’t all about fruitcakes and Christmas. Despite the relatives dose of reality, Buddy and his cousin don’t learn from the relatives critiques, and continue in their little bubble.
When revising a paragraph, what do writers focus on?
It depends on what I’m revising it for.Clarity and purpose would be the main things.Is it an expository paragraph introducing my reader to a character or setting? Or is it internal narrative that is revealing the character’s thoughts?I make sure the tone, word choice, and flow match what I’m trying convey.Sometimes that means including more profanity and making sure grandiose language is a minimum.Sometimes that means increasing descriptions of a place or person, or decreasing it because it’s too long.I’ve cut things I really like from paragraphs (or moved them) because it detracted from the flow of the novel.That’s in a creative sense.For professional works/emails then I’m usually just revising for clarity and grammatical errors.
Can anyone please help revise this short conclusion paragraph?!?
This is a conclusion for an essay about how fate controlls life using examples from Romeo and Juliet. Can anyone please help revise this paragraph?! I've tried, but I really don't know what to do =[ : Fate opens up an unknown path to what is meant to be. For some, this new course is adventurous and blissful. For others though, it is tough and depressing. Unfortunately for Romeo and Juliet, they journey down the second course. One of their problems is that they try hard to defy their own destiny. As Denis Waitley once said, “As long as we are persistent in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.” As Romeo and Juliet fight for their forbidden lives, they are stopping their happiness. Fate controls life, and accepting this, is the first way to a better life.
How to revise this paragraph? 10 points best answer?
Can someone please help? How could I make the thesis stronger and organize the ideas in the paragraph more? I know there is unnecessary information in there (such as the age, height, and hair color) My eight-year-old brother is a pest. He is eight years old. He has black hair. He is not the average size for an eight year old. He is short for his age. He gets up early on Saturday mornings and wakes everyone up because the cartoons are on. On weekdays, we have to make him get up to get ready for school. He always waits until the last minute to put on his clothes. When he doesn't get his way, he whines until he gets it. He is a spoiled little brat. He always gets his way with our parents. This is the little boy that I have to put up with everyday. Thank you in advance.
Please help me fix the adjective and adverb in the paragraph.?
It have 10 error. Please give me the correct adjective or adverb. Some people in fashion think that clothing express perfect the ideas of the maker. Other believe it exact represents the point of view of the wearer. As art, fashion reflects good the vision of the artist using the wearer as a living canvas. As a mode of self-expression, fashion can real reflect the person ideologies, value, and affiliations of the wearer. Some exception pieces of clothing are more unique than the clothing seen in a tradition runway. There are variously awards and gallery shows that recognize brightly artists who create conceptual pieces of well, wearable art. These pieces are usual not intended to be worn by everyday people in everyday situation, but are one-of-a-kind creations praised for artistic concept rather than fashionable practicality.