Dealing with difficult online friend?
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Divorce and very difficult time coping with it?
I had a similar situation. I was married for 10 years and dated for 5 years before that. I had a home, close relationships with my in-laws and step-children, and I thought I had a wife that loved me. Then it all came crashing down when she told me she didn't love me. I found myself living in a dumpy rental and nobody from her side of the family including my step-children would talk to me. So, I tried to keep busy. I made some new friends and I finally found peace in knowing that I did the best for all of them that I could when I was there. I did everything to make my marriage work and everything was beyond my control because my ex single-handedly dismantled the marriage for reasons that she will not share. So, it has been 4 years since I left and 2 years since the divorce. Now I have a new fiance, a new home, new job, new pets and a new flower garden. I have everything I had lost from my first marriage, except my step-children. So, the moral of the story is that you should just take one day at a time looking for the little blessings offered each day. Try to look at the beauty around you and try to do something nice for someone every day. Don't become hateful and resentful over it and try to forgive her. Try out some new activities. take a couple of adult education classes at the local community college and get involved at a church or community organization. Take a couple of long trips to somewhere you have never been and do some fun things like fishing. Keep busy. sooner or later the pain will get better and you will have a new girl. hang in there.
Difficult dealing with girlfriends 20 yr old son who has anxiety disorder?
When I was 17 I was also out of hand I remember I was arguing with my dad one time you could tell he wanted nothing more but to slap me and put me in my place. I now look back at it and I regret the way I acted but teenagers are soooooo really stuborn they don't want to talk about any of their problems especially to their parents. So talking isn't always the best thing because more than likely he won't listen and just want the conversation to be over and you don't want to hover over them because it really will make the situation worse. But you don't want to give him a lot of space either cause he'll just keep thinking he can get away with so much. My advice is going out on family gatherings maybe once or twice a week maybe on a sunday go out for dinner, or if he's athletic take him out for some golf or fishing or to the batting cages. Then set up camping trips and other week long vacations. The important part is that you make him realize how important it is to bond. Right now he thinks his friends is all he has and once he sees how your trying to make an effort to be around him and spend quallity time with him he'll realize that he wont find that type of bond with anyone else and respect you a little more. Just remember teenagers are still very child like and with a child you have to be patient. My parents were with me, and now I have the most respect for them. The most important thing is that you always let him feel and know that you haven't given up on him yet. Good luck!
Advice for dealing with a difficult friend, please?
that really sounds like a tough situation. you seem to be tying a lot of other relationships to your relationship with C, including your relationship with her daughter and her BF. 1. I would think that your relationship with her BF will not be ruined if he is a grown woman/man who can think for her/himself 2. the relationship with the daughter...well, so be it, she'll be a casualty of war if you need to cut things off. Seriously - she'll survive without you, and you'll survive without her. Ultimately - Take care of yourself first. At 30+ years of age, you're too old and mature to be dealing with this level of immaturity. Time is too precious to accommodate for unreasonable people, and from her behavior it's something she's definitely already come to realize because you guys only do what she wants to do. So you don't have to lie to her about what you are doing. In fact I think that would just harm your integrity. But you don't have to tell her either. At the end of the day - you don't owe her anything, and you cannot feel guilty for owing her something she doesn't deserve. It's like feeling guilty for not giving money to a bum. Then when she does find out and either calls you on it or invites herself - you need to stick true to your integrity and just tell her the truth. Tell her "no...I don't want you to come because L and I will want to do this and this and this, and we know you won't want to do any of that stuff and all you are going to do is ***** and ***** and *****". She needs a reality check slap in the face and she's not going to get that if you tread lightly. You'll probably be doing her more of a service by telling her the truth and making her face her ugly self, than you will if you let her continue on her path. If at the end of the day you loser her as a friend, then so be it. But really, if that happens will you really be worse off? Take care of yourself first. That's what she does.
Coping with loosing all friends? ?
First of all, I'm Oscar from Mexico and my English is king of bad. I've been in the same situation as you, but for me was worst because I left everything in mexico, I began highschool with no friends, English, and noone to talk to, still at this moment is hard. What I can tell u is not to give up, do stuffs that u really enjoy, and talk to someone who u trust, it can be a teacher, relative... And with the other thind (shy) u should not be like that, put all u'r effort to change that cuz believe me I'm also shy, really, and all I got from it was a feeling of depression, no friends, thoughts of suicide, hurting myself, and letting me down. Look for help and u really find the true ones, BUT LOOK FOR IT, BELIEVE ME I'VE WAITING FOR IT TO COME AND AFTER 4 YEARS STILL WON'T COME, U HAVE TO GO FOR IT. ESTARE AL PENDIENTE DE TI, VES NOW U HAVE A FRIEND CUZ U TOOK THE FIRST STEP. GOOD LUCK... I'm a bodybuilder so I can help u with overweight problems, or tips like going to the gym, or all stuffs related... ok
How to deal with a difficult mom?
Ok, I could really use some advice on dealing with my mom. Here is some background to start. I am 37 and I live in Florida, my mom lives in Illinois (where I grew up). I have been with my husband for 11 years and we have a 3 year old child. When I was a child, I moved out of the house at 16. A big part because my mom was a heavy drinker. She didn't see me for an entire year after I left. Missed my high school graduation, birthday, christmas. She sobered up when I was in college in 1998. I also have an older brother whom I don't speak with because he has always been very mean to me. My mom made him go live with our dad when he was a teenager because he wouldn't stop bullying me. Moving forward, now I haven't seen her in over a year. It breaks my heart because now I have a child. She doesn't like my husband. And really the only reason is because I used to call her when he and I would argue. It took lots of counseling to learn not to call her when we had an argument. So, I went there last Sept. 2010 and haven't seen her since. I told her she has to come here before I would visit again. It is a two way street. Her reason for not coming was always time and money. Well, she sold her business in May 2011, has six figures in the bank now and all the time in the world. She still hasn't came to visit. She took my brother, his kid and girlfriend on a trip to Alabama and really rubbed it in my face. She has been visiting my brother every week (he lives just 2 hours away). Now, I still don't talk to my brother. He is just to mean to me to deal with. It is so hard for me to get all this out of my head. It makes me very sad. After my child was born, I told her, lets do an every three month thing. You come hear, then I'll go there and we would see each other a lot. That never happened. I've gone there several times since my son was born but she has only came twice. At this point, I just don't know how to let it go. Any suggestions would be great.
How to deal with a difficult mom?
My son is 8yrs old. It almost feels as if he could've been asking this question. I too am affectionate, and although I don't belittle my son, I do yell a lot. Thats often my alternative to a spanking. Sometimes, I lose my patience when helping him with him homework and he cries. I feel so bad afterwards. It never really dawns on me that I'm hurting my son's feelings until he starts to cry. It's never my intention to hurt him. While I realize I'm not right, I recognize that I geniunely want whats best for my son. I just have an aggressive way of displaying it. I assuming your mother isn't intentionally trying to hurt you, that she's just showing her version of love- tough love. Tough love is not abuse but it can be extreme and is can't be applied to all children. As a child, I'm sure having to deal with tough love is rough. You don't really have much choice but to accept it. I try to be more mindful of my son's feelings. I don't want him to grow up and resent me. When I was a kid, I got spanked alot. I wasn't at all abused. I always said that I would never treat my child that way. I guess being overly aggressive with a mild mannered child is just as bad. If your mother is like this with everyone she knows, I would say that she had some control issues. Some people only control who they know they can. But then again, it can just be a case where your mother wants whats best for you guys. Here's the thing tho. As an adult, you have the power to tell her to stop. You have the power to see her often or as little or you like. You can call her rather than visiting. You can respectfully end the conversation, if you like. The difference between you now as a man versus before as a child is that you have confidence and can convey your thoughts better. You know how to respectfully say, 'mom mind your business'. There's nothing wrong with that. You have to show her that she did a great job in raising an independent thinking, free-spirited man who can make good decisions and exercise sound judgment concerning his family. You have children of your own now. If you don't develop the backbone to stand up to your mother, how can you expect your children to grow up mentally and emotionally capable of standing their ground in any situation?