Really want to talk to her, craving mother figure attention?
So I have known this woman whom I call 'honorary aunt' & she's been there for me in pretty tough times. We're not related by blood but I call her auntie B. She's always assured me that I would be fine and that things would get better if I think positive. She's also given me some good advice. I've grown attached to her over the years and now that she's not available I feel kinda empty inside. I have no one to talk to, no one I can open up to and I don't open up to people easily, it actually took me years to open up to her. She's been dealing with things of her own right now and I cannot establish contact with her. And the truth is that I miss her so much...Don't get me wrong, I have my family and friends but I crave her guidance and conversations with me. I have sent her a few emails but she hasn't replied. I crave her attention. I want her to see how I've changed into a better person. I don't want to send her more emails or bother her coz I don't wanna appear annoying. What should I do? I really miss her presence :( Do you think she's forgotten about me? Any input would be greatly appreciated.
I really need a mom/mother figure!?
I have a long story about life with my mother. Filled with physical and emotional abuse along with major alcoholism. I really feel the hurt of not having a mom. I'm 22 and I still miss not having a mother. When I say I don't have. Mom I don't mean physically. I have a mother but not a "mom", if that make sense. She hates me and is still an alcoholic and abusive sometimes. I am looking for someone to talk with, someone who I can look up to, someone who cares, who I can laugh (and cry) with, someone who cares, just someone who can help fill the void...not meant in a creepy adult baby way (lol). I'm looking for a mother figure. I've wanted a loving and caring mom my whole life! I'm a 22 year old girl without a parent who has ever loved her. I need a mentor!!!
How do I forgive my mother for hurting me repeatedly, when she doesn't think it was wrong? I broke off contact, but I crave a relationship with her.
This question is very timely for me right now.Two days ago, I spoke with my mother on the phone after almost three years of no contact.She was physically abusive during my childhood and mentally and emotionally abusive throughout my adult years.There’s an example in Kittie Eubank's answer to What's the worst thing your parent has ever said to you?In 2013 I decided enough was enough, and I cut her off.There is no room in this life I have created for someone who only sows negativity and hurt.She tried to contact me a few times over the years and I blocked her. That didn’t stop her from showing up in my dreams, though.I knew that being estranged from me was very painful for her. She doesn’t understand it at all; she thought we were close.Even though before I cut off contact I tried several times to talk to her about specific instances of abuse, she never could see that she did anything wrong.It was always my fault - I was being selfish. I took it wrong. She did it for my own good.So why did I call her two days ago?She texted me, about a week before that. She said she was sorry for everything she ever did to hurt me.There was no guilt-tripping or finger-pointing. Just an apology and a request to reestablish a relationship.After much thought and seeking counsel from people I trust, I decided to reach out and give her another chance.I have firm boundaries in place, and if she crosses them I am prepared to break off contact permanently.But if she is in a place now where she can be a part of my life, I will accept that.It will never be the same. I don’t think I can ever trust her. I don’t look forward to speaking to her again. She will never understand the harm she did.I called her for her, not for me. But that’s okay.So for you, OP, I would say….You can forgive your mother by letting go of the active resentment for what she did to you.Holding onto unforgiveness only hurts you - it doesn’t affect her at all.However, even after you have forgiven, you must be careful to guard your heart. Don’t let her into your life if she brings more negative than positive.It is hard. We want to have mothers who love and support us. Sometimes, though, they are incapable of doing that.Surround yourself with people who bring you joy, who lift you up and love you.Forgive your mother because it will release that tight ball of resentment writhing in your gut - you don’t need that.