What to say back to rude people???
I am very petite (about 5'3 and 100lbs,) and I am sick and tired of people making rude remarks about how small i am. I dont want to be rude back, but i about just had it and I want to know if you guys can help me come up with some kind of smart *** comments i can say back to them, when they say something about me being short or small. Thanks to everyone for your replys...
How can someone not be rude and still say "no"?
No is simply no, it's not a situation, or rude behavior, it's just not wanting to do something. It isn't difficult unless you have attached your own meaning to it, and that's where the problem may be. If you think saying no means you are being rude, then you think that you are obligated to be agreeable, and that's just not so. I'd be very willing to bet that you've heard the word no often enough from others, you just don't have enough experience saying it for yourself. Think about that - others don't have quite the problem saying no. All that is required is to just say no. You can sweeten it up by saying oh no thanks, or thanks but another time, but don't feel obligated to say yes just because someone else wants you to. There's an old saying, Would you jump off a cliff because they did? The point is that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing. You have a mind and a will of your own so don't be afraid to exercise it at your convenience. The first time is hard but it's easier once you've said the words.edit: Just wanted to add one more thing - you don't need to make excuses either for saying no, it's an easy habit to make excuses to avoid the truth but just no thanks, or no thanks I don't care to, or no, I just want to go home is enough. Sometimes the truth is your ally, by simply saying no, I just don't want to do that is better than any excuse you could come up with.
Did I say anything rude or do anything to make her think i was rude?
When I went to a convention to meet actors and actresses I went to go to meet an actress. I went to the guy at the register and paid for a auto graph and a picture. He then handed her a picture to sign for me. She said hi and introduced herself and I said the same back. She said she liked my name and I said thank you. I then said I've been waiting all day to meet her and she said thank you. She then finished the autograph and I don't think she knew I was getting a picture so then I said I am also going to do a picture and she said oh OK awesome and we took a picture. I then said thank you it was nice meeting you and she said the same back. Do you think i said anything rude or anything that made her I think I was rude? I feel like I'm over thinking it and that I said nothing wrong. Please answer!!
My mom thinks my friend is being rude. What should I do?
Your friend is acting like a disrespectful slob. If you don't want to lay down the rules, then ask your mom to do it, and tell her you will back her up. Maybe draw up a list of what *should* be done (eg: eat only while at the kitchen table, put your dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, etc. While your friend might be upset, you'll be doing her a favor--she apparently doesn't know how to behave in public and that is going to cause problems for her wherever she goes. If she's allowed to behave like that at home, shame on her parents. It's their job to teach her how to behave. BTW, your friend needs more than "hints". If she's making a pig of herself, TELL her that (wow, you're always eating the last piece of everything, didn't anyone ever tell you that was rude?) Same with the interrupting. You can maybe soften the blow a bit by saying "my mom doesn't like it when I interrupt her, and I don't think she likes it when you do either". It's up to your mom whether or not to lay down rules about babies who won't eat proper meals. When I was little (and by that I mean 4 or 5), if I didn't eat a full meal, then I didn't get dessert. Coke is TERRIBLE for your friend. If she truly doesn't like the food (is it too spicy or heavy?), ask her what types of foods she does like and maybe your mom can accommodate her. Tell her that if she doesn't clean up her act, she'll never be invited back, and that would make you sad because you enjoy having her there. BTW, why weren't you and your mom aware of her behavior before this 2-week vacation? Seems to me that one or both of you should have anticipated this.
My math teacher is rude and embarrasses me what should I do or say?
Hi im 13 years old n im in middle school anway my teacher (not gunna say name) is very rude 1 time she was going over the morning work n I was PAYING ATTENTION she called on me n I said the answer...but it was wrong then she started yelling at me n said I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH YOU,YOU NEED TO BE TESTED THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT CLASS 4 U! I felt so embarrassed n this boy that she had put me next to (as a group member)said to me that I was stupid n started laughing at me n I said to him stfu if I was so stupid then how the hell could I have gotten into 8th grade,n then he didnt say anything(cuz he new that what I said was true)but this isnt the first time that shes embarrassed me like that..I may have to tell administrators to change my math class...but I just felt so stupid n embarressed I dont even wanna walk back into that class room...n this is why I dont ask any1 in that class 4 help ESPECIALLY THAT BOY I shoulda punched him an the teacher in the nose but im not bout tht life lol!
What do you really want to say to rude customers?
I was at a meeting one time with a customer. The customer made a very general statement “I am not happy with your services”. I asked the client why she was not happy. Her reply, “Everything is wrong! There is too many things to count.” I told her I have a pen and paper handy and I am looking to take down her answers. She kept replying, “Everything is wrong!” Some customers just cannot be helped. As much as you try to meet them half way and look to improve yourself, they just do not believe in constructive criticism.I cannot help a customer who doesn’t want to be helped. You give me reason to improve myself, I will do it. I cannot improve “everything is wrong” or change the way we do business. So I asked her to leave. She was told we would accept any constructive feedback as we are committed to customer satisfaction.In another instance, I was working at a drive thru in a fast food restaurant. I could not hear the order because the engine was very loud. I kept asking the client to repeat her order and turn off the engine. Her response, “It seems English is not your first language. Perhaps you can get someone with better English to take my order. “ Then she proceeded to talk slowly as if I was the dumbest person in the world.I’ve been in Canada for 27 years. English is my language of choice. I may have a speech impediment, but that doesn’t excuse her language.My owner met her at the drive thru window and told her if she doesn’t get off his property, he will call the police. She violated an essential human right of his employee and this will not be tolerated in his restaurant. There’s a line you don’t cross and if customers are violating human rights, you are allowed to ask them to leave.
Is it rude to say "what?" to someone rather than "pardon"?
"What?” Is the proper response if you want to emulate people from higher social classes. People from the lower middle classes tend to prefer “"Pardon?” because they think it sounds nicer and posher.Confusingly, folk from the working classes (the social class I grew up in) also tend to respond with "What?”.So, to answer your question: if you’re a working class person and you say "What?” to a middle class person, they’ll probably think you’re rude. If you’re posh and you say the same thing, they may still find you rude but they’ll take it, because poshness allows you to get away with anything.If you say "Pardon?”, everyone will instantly know which social class you’re from. They may accept you for it, or despise you for it depending on their point of view.NB This answer is really only valid in the UK. As a socially mobile foreigner living in this country, I often see what the natives don’t.For more details on this, Google ‘U and non-u speech’.
I am direct but polite, yet people think I am being rude or arrogant. What is going wrong here?
It’s hard to say exactly what’s going on here without details — some examples, say, of your ‘direct and polite’ statements that people mistake for rudeness — but I can say a couple of things generally:It is possible — even easy — to be direct and polite without actually being civil. There are all manner of hostilities that can hide behind a superficially neutral tone.It is always possible — though not always easy — to say anything meaningful without giving offense. It requires a combination of consideration for others, compassion, self-reflection, and restraint.Some people are thin-skinned (generally, or about particularly topics) and need a gentler hand. That’s where compassion and self-restraint come into play. Some people mistake harshness for helpfulness, and confuse honesty with truth. That’s where consideration and self-reflection become necessary. If someone is accusing you of being rude and arrogant, it doesn’t really matter whether the accusation is ‘true,’ or whether the thing you said is ‘true’. What maters is that you’ve expressed yourself poorly, and it’s now your job going forward to figure out how to say what needs to be said in a different manner that won’t get you accused of arrogance.Self expression is a more difficult task than most people realize. Most everyone can talk reasonably well, sure enough, but nothing anywhere guarantees anyone the right to be heard. People who want to be heard, and respected for their words, have to learn how to speak in ways people want to listen to.
How do you respond if someone says something derogatory, insulting, or just plain rude to you or your loved ones?
In my experience, people who are rude or mean, are hurting souls. They’re trapped by their own fear of others or fears of the world. Those people are just taking their fear, and smearing it all over other people. So when someone is derogatory, insulting or rude, it really has nothing to do with you. It’s all them and their “stuff” (their fears).When I have the misfortune of engaging with someone who makes me feel degraded, I practice separating that human from their fears (which assumedly are showing up in their action/behavior), and I exit the conversation/engagement as quickly as possible.In the circumstances when someone is willing to hear feedback (a friend, a colleague, etc.), I give the feedback. It might be something like, “It occurs that you’re angry, and I have it that this doesn’t have to do with me.” Or, “Hey, you seem worked up, is something going on? Do you need anything?”If the person gives me LOTS of agency, I’ll actually call what I’m hearing/seeing. That looks something more like, “I’m hearing a lot of complaining, and I’m wondering what you actually need underneath that complaint. I’d prefer not to talk in circles about what you’re upset about, so what do you need to move this conversation forward to be productive? And if that’s to go complain at someone else, that’s totally cool with me, I’m just not interested in being part of this complaint-fest any longer.”If you have specific examples you want to work through, shoot me a response and I’d be happy to help you craft your response.