Did You Cry On Your Child

Why should you refrain from crying in front of your child?

Don’t. Don’t refrain from crying in front of your child. Don’t view crying as a weakness. Crying is the body’s way of telling you, “Okay, that’s enough.” It’s okay to cry, after all. Not crying in front of your child makes them think that crying is bad. It’s okay to show a perceived weakness in front of your child. It lets them know that you are human and it lets them learn how to handle stress. It shows them that you are strong, even when you feel weak because you show them that you can break down and rebuild afterwards.My mother cried in front of my sister and me. And I promise you, I think that my mother is the strongest woman that I know. I have seen her break down and rebuild so many times. I am so proud that she feels comfortable and confident in herself to show her children that it’s okay to not be okay. Show your children that it’s okay to not be okay, okay? And then show them how to rebuild from that. Make them into better, stronger people.

Did your child ever make you cry?

The first time I saw him in person he was just about one second old. That was the first time he made me cry.Then when he asked me how tornadoes are formed and I was just about to ask him to get his ipad when he whispered in my ear about the cold air and the hot air and how the tornado is formed. I cried. He had things covered. He’d learnt that by himself. The answer was exactly how I myself had personally read it somewhere some long time ago. I felt a comforting sense of relief and pride. I was not expecting this milestone so soon.A few days prior he’d made an announcement that “Science is the best!”After reminding me how tornadoes are formed, he told me he might become a science guy or he might become “someone on stage”.I knew my son was able to think for himself. That he was giving his life and his future thought. I cried. It was the first time I knew he was still on the right track.Other than that he makes me laugh a lot and I always want to hug and kiss him “for being too cute”.When he was two he told me he was a policeman and handed me an invisible ticket. I asked for what?? He said “For being too beautiful”. <3That’s my boy!

Why do parents cry during the birth of their child?

If you are the one giving birth, then your hormones are all over the place, and you have just been through something that was a lot of hard work, very physically tiring, and — depending on what type of pain relief you had, if any — also quite painful. In that moment, it is almost hard to believe that it’s all over and that you actually have a baby. Your mind and your body struggle to grasp this fact, and meanwhile things in your body and mind are continuing to change rapidly as you transition from pregnancy to postpartum. Emotionally, you are likely quite relieved and joyful, and you also might feel some sorrow that you didn’t anticipate, or some anger — especially if things didn’t go how you thought, if there were complications, or if this happy event is also tinged with grief over loved ones who won’t get to meet this child. If you are the other parent/partner, then you are exempt from the physical stuff but still experience a lot of the same emotions, plus empathy for your partner and perhaps wishing you could take her place or do something more to make things easier for her. Childbirth is a perfect scenario for tears of any or all kinds. I would be surprised if a parent didn’t cry.

What do you do when your child is crying at a restaurant?

Well we don't go out very much, but I try to be thoroughly prepared when we do.I know that my daughter, being less than 2 years old, is not going to want to sit quietly while we order and wait for our food. She will want to run around and explore, and will get bored quickly in her high chair. So I always make sure she has plenty of ways to entertain herself. I'll bring a bag with books, quiet toys and puzzles, and crayons etc. for coloring. And I play with her while I talk to the adults, instead of ignoring her and expecting her to keep quiet while the adults chat. She wants to be involved, too!I also try to minimize tantrum potential by only taking her out when she is well rested and generally happy. Missed a nap? Not going out. Teething? No effing way. Not worth the struggle.Of course, even under ideal circumstances, tantrums happen. I can hardly expect perfect behavior from a toddler 24–7, even if I do everything right. So if I see my girl getting grouchy I try to distract and play with her until we leave. If a meltdown happens, I take her out til she calms down enough to return. Or we go home, depending on the severity. But with thoughtful attentiveness and thorough planning, I find it hasn't happened much for us.

Parents, what age did you let your child "cry it out" when going to sleep, or did you avoid this?

I've never done this with either of my children (aged 6 and 3) because I believe it is a damaging approach. I say “I believe” because there are so many variables involved in child development that it is impossible to have proof either way. But what can be proved is that leaving a child to cry releases more cortisol (stress hormone) into their brains. It is thought that this may increase anxiety later in life. There is also the fact that infants are picking up the message that their cries of distress will not be attended to, and that the people they have bonded with cannot be relied upon to meet their needs (comfort is a need).So, instead, we coslept with both children after carefully weighing up the risks both ways and taking steps to make our sleeping environment as safe as possible. They would usually start in their own cots and be brought into ours on their first waking.As infants they barely cried at night, as most of their needs could be identified and met before they even got to the crying stage. Mostly they were just looking for milk and cuddles, and a breastfeed was enough to settle them again. On some nights we needed to rock and pat them (sometimes by walking around) until they settled. Our elder child moved fairly effortlessly into her own bed aged 3 but still comes in with us if she has a particularly bad night. The now 3 year old hasn't yet transitioned to her own bed, but I'm hoping she will show more readiness in time. She's starting nursery this year, which may give her more of a desire for independence.I understand that people have different approaches and face different circumstances, so I am not saying this will be right for everyone. I've certainly faced enough criticism for my choices. But it is what I believe, based in part upon my own life experiences. And it has certainly worked for us.Children are only little for such a short while — they won't be breastfeeding or sleeping in your bed as teenagers, I guarantee it — so why the rush?