Look, I will gladly talk about this but please understand this is one of those questions that is best not asked of some who are in the Transgender Spectrum. The reason for that is another answer altogether.I noticed when I was 6 that I was different. Everything seemed odd, strange and not just quite right with me. As I got older this did not go away it only got worse. I don’t want to give to much away I wrote my Autobiography on this. Going through my life was not easy I can’t look in the mirrors. Until I started on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It was like I had a glove on all my life and once HRT started it was removed. Now do I ever want to put that glove back on “Hell No”. It is not a matter of accepting. That would assume it was a choice to be Transgender. No one like me chooses this path. In fact before HRT my life was hell. The Noise of Gender Dysphoria would not stop.Look I am going to plug my book the reason is the answer you are looking for took my 125,000 words reduced after editing to 75,000 words to talk about what you are asking. There is no way I want to write that again. You can go to my blog on the right hand side are two ways to buy my book “The Shadow of Ally”. Now there are answers on my blog for free but not my story. My blog is free to help others understand what we go through. It has a Timeline as well on the monthly Transition of a transgender person (Me).I leave you with this, “God does not mistakes, mother nature makes them all the time” ~Whoopie Goldberg, I accept who I am I only ask that you try to.all the best~Ally
Can mtf trans gender start transition between the age of 35-40 ?
I should hope so, since I started at 43. The effects of hormones are impossible to predict with any certainty. The physical effects vary the most. In general, the younger you start, the more pronounced the changes *tend* to be, but that does not mean if you start later in life you'll get poor results. HRT seems to work more slowly in people after 30, so it takes longer to see the changes, but they do happen. If you've lost much hair, don't expect an abundant amount of regrowth. There may be some, but bald areas won't magically fill in. Breast growth tends to be in the A cup and smaller range. Fat redistribution will take longer, and may not be as pronounced as it would be in someone 25 years old. It will probably take longer for muscle to diminish. Skin will improve in terms of clearness, softness and smoothness, but if you've got prominent wrinkles and sun-beaten leather for skin, it's not going to change into the skin of a supermodel. You'll probably notice a loss of strength, less body odor, less oiliness on skin and hair, and over time, body hair will diminish (though it may not disappear.) Your sense of smell, touch, and taste may change. The mental changes tend to be similar no matter what age you begin. You can expect a greater sense of calmness and an overall feeling of "rightness", less aggression, lower libido and less energy. You may find certain interests change, while other new ones develop. Most people experience heightened emotions and a tendency to cry more easily, especially in the beginning. You may also be more susceptible to depression.
I’m scared that testosterone has changed my temper and I get angry more easily now.I’m scared that my top surgery results will look bad and there will be nothing to do about it.I’m scared that my bottom surgery results will end up with me losing all feeling.And yet I’m still trans.It’s completely reasonable to be scared of transitioning or to not want to do it at all, and that’s completely fine. If you want to be seen as male despite being born female, bam! You’re transgender! Scared of hormones and surgery? Transgender! Don’t want hormones or surgery, or just hormones and no surgery, or just hormones and top surgery and no bottom surgery or any kind of combination? Transgender! The only thing that makes you transgender is wanting to be seen as a different gender than your sex says you should be.I’d recommend talking to a professional about it. If you don’t want hormones/surgery, it’s completely fine, but if you’re scared, that’s something a little bit different. I used to think that I wouldn’t want bottom surgery at all, ever. And then I realized I hated penetration in the front and wished I could penetrate others. Then I thought I would never find a surgeon whose results looked the way I wanted them too. And then I found results that looked about as perfect as you can get. Then I was scared I would lose all sensation. And then I found that the idea that sensation was a guarantee loss was basically untrue with surgery nowadays.Not wanting to medically transition is completely fine. Being scared is fine. But I do recommend figuring out what exactly you are scared of, and to find out if you do want to medically transition and how much.Also keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to fear that you aren’t really trans. I had a panic attack just the other day because I misgendered myself almost two years after coming out, wondering if I wasn’t really trans because I slipped up. And then I remembered that hanging out with my sister was sister bonding time for 12 years, and sibling bonding time was only two.TL;DR: Yes.
Am I a lesbian or transgender? Confused?
I’ve never felt comfortable wearing really girly clothes like dresses and skirts and heels. I always thought they looked nice on other girls, but I never liked wearing them. And with even just casual but girly type clothing, I’m okay wearing it because that’s what normal girls wear, right? But whenever I see myself in the mirror wearing girls clothing, I pretend it’s a different person, some other girl, wearing the clothes, just to satisfy myself. I’ve always felt more comfortable wearing male’s clothes, especially when they hide my breasts. That actually satisfies me and I like thinking that people may be seeing me as a guy instead of a girl. I also get uncomfortable with my genitals. Sure, I like to see them because I know I’m attracted to girls and I like breasts and vaginas and all that, but I’ve never been comfortable with seeing them as my own. I like boobs, but not on myself. And it’s not that I like d*cks; it’s that I feel like that is what should be down there. I also love to read and watch TV shows and I get really into them and get attached to all the characters, but I’ve never felt like I’ve really connected to any female character, even the ones that are lesbians. I always feel more like I’m like the male characters in the book or show or movie. Finally, I hate walking or standing ‘like a girl’. I feel odd swinging my hips or trying to walk in a way that isn’t boyish. I feel the most comfortable walking or standing when I’m doing it like a guy would. But then there’s the personality side of things. I’m quite emotional and I cry about every little thing. Guys aren’t supposed to be that sensitive, right? Am I just being stereotypical or what? I also really know fashion, both male and female, and I gush over ‘cute’ shoes or shirts or whatever. In addition, I tend to get really girlishly giggly and call everything ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ (unless it’s totally disgusting or something!) I feel like a guy, but then I act like a girl, too… I probably left a lot out, but this is what really came to mind. So you think I’m just a tomboyish lesbian or actually transgender?
Why am I so damn emotional?
Happy Mother's Day!!! <3 Since you know your ex doesn't love you, PLEASE no more 'intinmacy' with him. That would make almost every woman feel like crap after awhile. Find someone new who will love you and give you everything you want and need from a man. Are you perhaps not just depressed but suffering from clinical depression? If you are, you might want to consider medication and/or therapy. You need to do something for yourself. Get a baby sitter and go out or an evening or do something you enjoy but haven't made time for lately. You deserve to be happy! best of luck and many hugs!