How do I stop beating myself up so much?
Practice makes perfect. First of all you are probably over analyzing yourself while in the company of others and concentrating to much on the ideal conversations instead of trying to simply go with the flow of things and enjoying the camaraderie. Any social gathering and most social encounter should be experienced naturally. Don't attempt to force a particular atmosphere to develop and try not to be too self-conscious of your own presence. It's not entirely all about you, so, you have to be patient and learn to observe the environment you've entered in order to better comprehend the type of conversations to engage in without disturbing the ambience which everyone else has created. Don't be the party-pooper, in other words. I sit here and I read your question and I don't see any problem with your communications skills...so, that should assist you in your journey to improve upon your people skills in a major way. if it's confidence you lack then try to remember that we've all come from sperm. We all have to use the bathroom. And we all stink if we don't practice good hygienes. Meaning: no one's perfect. Nor is any person better than any one else. Just be yourself and LEARN from your errors, and not BEAT yourself up over them. Make a note of what you think you've done wrong and put it out of your mind, because chances are no one was grading you on it, besides yourself, of course. Relax...have fun!!! Life's too short.
Why do I physically beat myself up?
Sometimes when I feel exceptionally sad, I beat myself to the point where I bruise my knuckles and legs and my body feels sore for a few days afterward. I think I do this because I'm too weak to cut myself and I can't make myself vomit. . . so I feel so angry that I can only displace my anger with violence toward myself. I don't think I'm exactly depressed, though, because I have days when I feel fine. But often, I get so sad and self piteous that I beat myself for being that way. I don't know any other way to cope. I know I sound pathetic and cowardly, so I'm sorry. If it matters, I'm a 17 year old female (my life is OK and my grades are above average so I wouldn't deem myself a complete failure). So I would like to know why I get this urge and what should I do?
Why do I constantly beat myself up about my grades?
Ok so I'm a junior in high school now. When I was a sophomore and freshman I was extremely lazy when it came to school work and I slacked my way into a B/C average. Now before I started school this year, I woke up and now I'm getting all A's in all of my classes and I'm taking education seriously. But it really sucks. My friends are all straight A students and they have been since freshman year. They are all in National Honor Society and all have AP classes...except for me. Why? Because I was the one who chose to slack off in 2 previous years. I get so upset when all my friends say "Is everyone going to National Honors Society meeting?" Or they ask me "Do you know when the next NHS meeting is?". And then i have to tell them "I'm not in it" Or they ask me why I'm not in AP classes and I feel like complete ****. And then we took the PSAT's this year. I was studying for SAT's for about 2 months before. I got low low scores and all my friends got 2100's while I got a 1400. I was so ashamed. I keep beating myself up over why I didn't wake up before junior year and I fear my dreams of becoming what I want to be and having a successful family is fading away. Help? :[ Why do I constantly beat myself up about my grades? What can I do to stop from beating myself up all the time? I'm trying so hard to do well, but my stupid slacking attitude in the last 2 years of high school just kills my chances of ever being in advanced classes. If only I had the same attitude I do now back then I could be a straight A 4.0 GPA student with loads of AP classes. Ughhh
How can I stop myself from beating myself up over my mistakes?
You have to realize mistakes will be made but this is your only life and your only opportunity to live it so why make the same mistakes again. I know what its like to have a past that continues to haunt you but there is no need to feel guilty for those all they were, were learning opportunities and I bet if you got faced with the same problem now you would do it differently that is what life is about its about making mistakes. You have to realize you are stronger now then you were then so you have been doing the right thing. Its hard to let things go but you just need to see that you never have to make those mistakes again and now you can move on.