Acceptance.The cause of your guilt and regret are in the past. It happened and nothing can change that.Maybe you made mistakes- everyone does and that's okay. But you have to let go and think about the here and now. Find a solution, apologise or walk away and never look back. You have to make a choice or chance wasting your time contemplating every decision until they disappear.Sometimes guilt feels like it constantly weighs you down and will never leave but everything comes to an end. Regrets were what ifs, full of possibility and hope, but now are paths that you didn't take but wish you had. You can't go back but you can prevent the creation of more.Take your chances whilst you still have them because the end could be right around the corner.
Take some time away from all distractions. Do some deep breathing or meditation if you can and 1. Realise that you cannot change the past - So far no one has been able to do so in real life.2. Every failure has one or more lessons - note those mentally (or in writing if that helps). Also think back casually on what you would have done better, that is a lesson for future as well.3. If something you did has hurt someone - sincerely apologise to them or if possible do something good to them that will make them feel better, as long as doing so doesn't take you down a guilt trip. Don't expect anything back from them for your gesture though.4. Move on, think big and affirm to yourself to make the best of present & future time and opportunities.
How can I deal with 30 years of guilt and regret?
I had an abortion when I was 15. Parents made all the decisions and a scandal like that was out of the question, an unwed mother was like a curse. I was almost 4 months pregnant and I vividly remember seeing it being flushed down the toilet. See, back then it was illegal and a doctor had to actually rip it out with his hands. . Horrific, I know, imagine I have had to live with those memories and I still cry each time I remember. I married the boy after that and had a family (2 girls) which is what probably hurts me the most. He (they said it was a boy) could have had a good life also, why did he have to be killed? This trauma just flaired up because today I saw my friend's sonogram picture of her baby at only 3 months and he was perfect, brought back painful memories and had to excuse myself and leave the room as tears just rolled down my cheeks. Is there a word of comfort that can ease my guilt? Category Social Science > Psychology
The first thing you need to realize is you are a human being, and it is absolutely okay to make mistakes. Don't think you have committed a heinous crime and start punishing yourself feeling guilty about a thing that is already over. Try to learn from your mistakes instead of making a fuss about the whole situation.You need to realize that mistakes are just a part of your life from which you need to learn and try to apply those learning in the upcoming phase of your life. Sit back and relax. Try to make the best out of your mistakes and start embracing the flaws and imperfections within you. Most of the times we feel guilty when we don't have enough courage to love the beauty that lies within us. Once you start figuring out about the loopholes behind your mistakes you will slowly stop feeling guilty and the sense of regret will be washed away.Accept that everyone commits mistakes and take it easy. And the most important thing is no matter how silly your mistakes are, try not to repeat them in the future. And love yourself even when it seems hard to do so. Beacause if you will not love yourself, who else will? If you won't embrace your mistakes and learn from them, who else will?Just relax and let it go. :)Hope this helps.
Suffer from regrets from the past?
Yes I have. You need to forgive yourself. If they haven't already, people you have wronged will eventually do the same. You are allowed to make mistakes, you're suppose to in this life. Just keep telling yourself that you will try to do better by yourself and others. Make an effort to do better and you'll feel better (even if you can only muster up the energy to improve little things). Look forward, not back. But be ready to make more mistakes in your future, it'll happen. You're beating yourself up to prove to yourself you care and this is exhausting, unnecessary and unproductive. Self inflicted guilt trips can be a difficult habit to break, but your happiness is at stake and you deserve better. Good Luck, and start cutting yourself some slack. Just as bad things will continually happen in life, something good is always waiting around the corner.
How to deal with extreme regret?
Well what exactly have you been doing with your life? I understand your pain as I am 55 and for some same and different reasons I TOO, have serious regrets, but you are STILL just 38...and that isn't the same as 28 but it sure isn't my 55 either! POINT BEING...you have no time to waste here...not if you want to truly LIVE your life anyway! This is a place where 'The Serenity Prayer' comes into importance. It asks God to 'Allow us to change what we can, ACCEPT WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE...and to give us the WISDOM to know the difference.' WHAT in 'yesterday's world CAN YOU CHANGE by your regrets or even 'thinking about it?' NOTHING AT ALL!!! There isn't anything that you NOR I can do about YESTERDAY...its gone never to return and TODAY is all we know for SURE that we have in this world. Tomorrow is NOT PROMISED and MAY NOT COME FOR EITHER OF US! You have allowed either 'regrets' FEAR, life issues, lack of self confidence or SOMETHING to 'steal' your ability to LIVE LIFE to its fullest. God gave us the ability to use our minds to CONTROL our way of living and THINKING. Now its TIME to 'stop' the negative thoughts and dreams about YESTERDAYS that cannot come back again! Now exactly WHAT is stopping you from going out there and FINDING at least ONE of the potentially hundreds of women that would likely make you a good life mate? Contrary to popular belief there is NOT JUST ONE 'special person' for us, but MANY who 'can' fit the same description. But if 'someone ELSE' is clouding your mind or SOMETHING ELSE is clouding your mind, you cannot BE OPEN to the ladies around you that are WORTHY of 'that chance!' You have TWO CHOICES. You can continue to AGE as you 'look backward' with ever increasing regrets at 'what you THINK you have lost' OR...you can look in the mirror, get a new 'do' buy some new clothes, get a new place to call home, trade cars, go BACK TO SCHOOL, and / ANY of a million things that will BEGIN your JOURNEY toward LIVING YOUR LIFE in a GOOD and HAPPY and NORMAL way. Which is it that you choose? Blessings to You in your Journey! Bunny7
Everyone will (or should) tell you that you have to protect yourself. Of course you wish things were not this way, but he made it this way. Not you.You feel bad for him, because you are human. You care. It’s natural. But once you’ve acknowledged this, you need to take a step back. If your sister or your best friend were being abused repeatedly, you would advise them to file a police report. Even if the abuser manages to talk his way out of this one, he won’t be able to do so repeatedly. You are merely making sure the abuse does not continue.It also helps a lot to know that a narcissist can control his/her actions - they plan their next move in much more detail than you or me. He could’ve chosen to listen to you, not to hurt you, and even to get help. He is not a victim. A formal complaint is probably the best way you have of making him realize how serious his problem is. But chances are that he will lash out and slander you. That is his choice. Perhaps, 5 broken relationships down the line, he might start to see a pattern. And he is an adult - he knows he can get help from a professional. He may make you feel that you should help him, but he needs professional help, so don’t even go there.Lastly, always remember that you deserve to be loved and cherished. You will do the same for your partner. There is nothing that will ever justify abuse. We tend to want to make excuses for the person we once loved, because we so badly wanted to believe he loved you back, so there has to be a valid reason for this behavior. There is not. In what world would you justify abusing another person?So whenever you feel bad about this, imagine yourself abusing another person the same way your boyfriend abused you. You can’t. It’s totally wrong. So never feel that you should’ve suffered some more. The sooner any kind of abuse is stopped, the better. Simple as that!
Hi,I don’t know what exactly happened so i cant comment over how to compensate, but i can sense that you have realization that you have done something wrong and this is the first step that you are already doing something to improve the situation. there are lot of people who do mistakes infact sins without having any realization for their acts so trust me you are at better place.. Guilt is the worst feeling and i can say that because i have spent 5 nights without sleeping when i was feeling guilt for my deed.Think about it ,what can make the compensation. work on it. Do something which can make someone feel better. Good deeds always works!See you cannot do anything about the past. the all you can do is try to rectify your actions. you feel sorry, accept it. make confession to someone what have you done you will feel light and something will come out which can help you to overcome from this.You are a nice person this is why you are thinking this much. Don’t feel disappointed and worthless. trust yourself you are better person and you can do things which can make you better person.Everything is in your hand. you jut have to try. when you will make someone smile you will start feeling okay. Feed to the needy people,try to talk to people who are suffering with problems,spend time with your family the way they reciprocate really sooth the soul, Read a good book to divert yourself are some of the thing which can make a person feel better in these situations.. Best of Luck!
HELP! Guilt is destroying me!?
When you isolate yourself from others, you can get depressed and find it hard to get back into contact. Positive thinking is so important in life. Have hope and pray about your life. Know that God can help you live a better life if you want Him to help you. You can have a personal relationship with God by saying the prayer below. God is our Creator, all-knowing, all-powerful, eternal, holy, love. God loves us and sent us His Son, Jesus Christ, so we can go to heaven if we know and follow Him. Forever means without end -- time on and on without death. Forever is what happens after we die. Either we go to heaven and be with God forever, or we go to hell which is very bad and painful forever. The good people who are saved believers in Jesus Christ go to heaven. The bad people go to hell. We need to know and follow God in this world to get to heaven in the next world. We follow God by loving and obeying Him and loving others for Him. Jesus Christ, God's Son, is our bridge to God. Jesus died on the cross to cancel our sins. We need to accept Jesus into our life as our Lord and Savior forever to receive God's blessing and forgiveness plus go to heaven to be with God forever after we die. This is about being a born-again Christian. Faith in God is a gift from God. You can pray for faith in God. Just speak out and ask God for the faith to believe in Him and to follow Him. Some people find faith in God when they realize the beauty in the world is made by God. Evolution can't explain the world's natural beauty, for example, the parks in the world, animals, flowers, peacocks, sunsets, butterflies, rainbows, etc. After you have your faith on, you can pray a sinner's prayer to be a born-again Christian. This prayer is very important and should be said with a sincere heart and faith in God. This is the prayer: "Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and that Jesus Christ is the sacrifice for our sins. I have done the following sins (state these out) and I pray to discontinue these sins. I pray to receive Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever. In Jesus' name, amen." I'm Lutheran and I like the Baptist churches too. You could check out a Christian church and also see about their weekly Bible study group as a good way to learn about God's will for your life. You can pray to God about your daily life and have a Christian church pray for you.
I have a lot of guilt.....can't forgive myself.?
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