Do I Have A Bipolar Disorder

What are the symptoms of bipolar disorder?

For me, there were signs of bipolar for as long as I can remember. I was always extremely sensitive and emotional, and the intensity increased as I got older.CHILDHOOD SIGNS:I didn't eat meat because I felt sorry for the animals.I cried when other people got hurt (physically or emotionally).I was extremely imaginative and created all kinds of games / I was never bored.I got so caught up in my thoughts that I would be unaware of my surroundings.I laughed so hard I could barely breathe and I couldn't stop.I cried so hard I could barely breathe and I couldn't stop.I was consumed with what others thought of me.I transitioned from happy, euphoric, annoyed, anxious, fearful, and sad in one day.A turning point was when I was 15. I was raped by 2 older boys. I wanted to die, and I had a plan. But, I chose to drink alcohol instead, and for the first time, I didn't feel. My brain became relaxed, and I could sleep.When I became sober as an adult, all those feelings that had been dormant came back stronger than before.MY ADULT SIGNS:not sleeping for 2–3 nights in a rowtalking very fast & non-stop, racing thoughts, higher pitched voice, overflowing ideaseuphoria, feelings of world-wide harmony, LOVE for everyoneReckless behavior / spontaneous decisionsseeing new meanings to thingsextended sleeping / not getting up from bedfeelings of depression and hopelessnessuninterested in any activityanger outburstsanxiety / panic attacksthoughts of suicideEach person has a unique set of symptoms, but if emotions hinder the ability to live a healthy, functioning life, it could be bipolar disorder.

How do people with bipolar disorder think?

How do people with bipolar disorder think?The truth is that people with bipolar think like other people think. They think like other people because they are people first. They will appear and think normal most of the time.The majority of the time they are not only normal they are very responsible people.The only reason they get that diagnosis is that they have suppressed their inner child in order to focus on care of others. Then there are times when their inner child break out and takes over.Now they are like another person because they do not usually integrate the playfulness, creativity and intuition of their inner child into their personality. In this so-called ‘manic state’ their inner child takes over completely for a while.At this point they they think like a playful, energetic child that just escaped from prison and has to make up for a life a drudgery by having some kind of blast. At this point you may find them a little hard to reason with because they are having too much fun!See other posts of mine to fill in more of my theory of the bipolar personality. Here is a summary: I believe that there are personality dynamics and family history patterns involved in creating the personality pattern that creates the behaviours that result in the label/diagnosis of bipolar.In my thesis, hypothesis if you will, much bipolar is manifested in a personality pattern of a very responsible person - similar to what we call a codependent. The family background had some breakdown in the parenting system and the child got drawn into taking on some sense of responsibility for keeping family systems peaceful, without conflict, orderly. They do that by taking care of people and generally do so very well.The weak point is lack of self-care. In fact these people are very critical of their inner child and do not allow their playful side to appear. They are seen as too serious as adults and like little adults when in childhood.

Does bipolar disorder get worse with age?

It can. Mood episodes (especially mania) cause ongoing brain damage. But of course, everything varies a lot by individual.We have four generations of bipolar in my family (mother to daughter), so I have an interesting perspective of how our symptoms change with age. Every family has a different set of symptoms, since different genes are involved for different families, but here’s our story.For all of us, our symptoms peaked around 25. That’s when I was diagnosed. That’s when my mother had post-partum psychosis. That’s when my grandmother talked to angels and demons. That’s when my great-grandmother went completely nuts. Looking at my mother, grandmother, and great-grand mother, I think their symptoms kind of plateaued after that. They have gone up and down as the years have gone by. They’ve also had periods of normalcy (in my family, those euthymic periods only last a few days or maybe weeks at a time).For us, I think significant life events have played more of a role in worsening our symptoms than age itself. Pregnancy is a bad, bad time (I am not having children, lol). Menopause just exacerbates everything. Anything like surgery, unrelated medications, other illnesses, and deaths in the family have all triggered significantly worse symptoms. However, we always go back to “normal” (whatever normal is for us) after a while.My grandmother is 80 years old and she has aged a lot in the past five years. She’s becoming a lot less resilient Her mood episodes seem to be harder for her to control. She’s forgetting things, she’s over emotional even for her, and she just generally seems out of it. I don’t know how much of that is just being 80 and how much of that is due to the long-term effects of untreated bipolar.My mother is just getting out of menopause, and she is also less resilient and less “with it” than she used to be. Again, I can’t tell how much of that is just because of where she is in life, and how much of it is because of her lifelong untreated bipolar.I suspect at least some of their decline is due to the brain damage caused by all of those untreated mood episodes.I am the only one in my family who has been treated. When I’m 80, I’ll let you know if I ended up any better off than my foremothers.