Can a woman truly raise a boy to be a man?
I was having a conversation with a single father & he was adamant that a woman can't raise a boy to be a man...that he has to have some type of close male influence. At first I was offended and ready to curse the man out, then he went through a few scenarios and asked me how would I handle the situation, or how would I tell my son to handle it. And every single situation he mentioned (some of which I've experienced with my son) he caused me to see things completely differently. What the guy told me is that I can teach a boy what I think a man should do, so he memorizes what to do in certain situations without knowing why. He siad I can't teach him how to think like a man. The final example he gave is something that hit close to home, because I was in a similar situation. He said, "Should a man walk out on his pregnant wife?" I said, "Never, a man doesn't do that." He said so if his wife has become rude and disrespectful and it was beginning to affect his sleep and he wa on the verge of losing his job/career? I said, "He's a man, he should never leave his pregnant wife." Then he said, "So she gets P'd at him and punches him, what would you tell him to do?"...then I said, "Leave". That's when he told me that if I teach my son never to leave his woman...it set him up to being abused by his woman. Then I remembered my ex husband and I use to get into some arguments when I was pregnant & he hit me. All the other things we argued over, I was willing to work out everything but him hitting me while I was pregnant. If he had moved out instead of hitting me, we may still be together. Does anyone agree or have a point of view on what this guy has told me?
Why are men so paranoid about raising another man's child and not willing to raise it?
Its hard because that child is not theirs and they feel no obligation to care for it and they also have a feeling of betrayal of knowing that their spouse was once in love with the previous husband/boyfriend.
My wife is pregnant with another man's child and the father wishes to be a part of the child's life. How do I deal with this?
Let me tell you a story. My best friend's mother and father have been married for more than 30 years. They had 2 beautiful daughters, one of them in her twenties, the other - my friend- in her thirties. Their marriage wasn't always happy. She has always been a strong, determined woman, and he has always been a strict man, wit a lot of dignity, a very strong personnality. Both have been working really hard to provide everything their family need. They lived altogether with the grandmother, chidren in a 2 rooms small house. They had very little. But everytime I went to visit, they welcomed me and anybody else as a queen or king. After 20 years of marriage or so, the mother found herself enamored of a colleague of hers. They had a year long affair or so. And she got pregnant. Her lover did not want the baby and even disappeared from her life, as he was fearful his own marriage would fall apart (that's where this exemple is different from your situation, I'm aware of that...). Her husband knew that couldn't be his own kid. Their marriage was on the verge of falling apart. But he stayed. He dealt with it. This wasn't a weakness. It was his greatest strenght ever. Now that young lady is 12. The husband has always been relating to her as his own child. He loved her with all his heart. And this brought the family back together, stronger as ever. A year and a half ago, the mother was diagnosed with cancer. She suffered a lot. About a month ago, knowing she wouldn't make it, she confessed to her child. The incredibly young lady took this the most mature way possible. She said she doesn't care, cause her dad is her dad, and she loves him. The family was united until the end. I actually just got back from her funeral. Her husband is devastated. Even though they faced challenges, enormous ones, they dealt with them. They chose to stay together and to work this out together. The whole family united and was there with her until her last breath. I saw them today together, standing in front of the coffin, holding each other. It was really powerful. Hate will always divide. Hate will cause you more trouble. You have to know with whom your wife wants to settle down. And whatever the outcome will be, the only advice I can share after telling this story, is that forgiveness is one of the purest, greatest gift we can give ourselves and others. Love has many, many ways, and it is always greater than any, any hate.
Do all men want children?
There are many guys that don't want children. I don't think it's a topic for a fight though. If you don't want children, an argument isn't going to change your mind. Plus if i was with someone that didn't want to have children and I argued her into having children, that would be very precarious way to start a family. This is simply a reason why some people can't be with some people. People break up all the time because of this. That's why if I was you, I would start dating again, and have this question ready to go early on.
Being a "real man" as defined by women?
I'm ******* tired of quote unquote "feminists" demanding "equality," and arguing about "gender roles" when what they really want is DOUBLE STANDARDS and gender roles favoring women. Men already ARE OBLIGATED TO PANDER TO WOMEN. Men are MORE POLITE, MORE RESPECTFUL, more courteous to women than women are to men, and this is considered "being a man," following through with their word --- all things women are not expected to do, don't have to do without any consequences. Observe: chivalry. There's no such thing as EQUALITY because women get treated like they're better. And they treat men badly. Therefor, because they treat men badly they're NOT better, and deserve EQUAL treatment. They should be given a hard time about their behavior and not "man up" or "grow some balls" but have a ******* backbone, common courtesy, respect, intelligence, and have what it means to be A HUMAN BEING, and not be hypocrites. Women don't have a ******* clue what it's like or what it means to be a man. **** that bullshit and **** those cards they play.