Do you look at someone directly in the eyes when talking to them?
Yes -- to a point -- don't keep up an unbroken stare directly into someone's eyes, because that is an act of aggression and makes them feel very uncomfortable. But it's polite to look at a person when they are talking to you, especially if they are your superior. Among friends, you can be more informal. If you are doing the talking, it's fine to look away while you talk, but what people tend to do is to look at the person at the start, then look away, make eye contact again, let your gaze drift off again, then make eye contact just as you finish speaking, as a signal to them that they are to pick up the conversation.
How long do you look at someone's eyes when you are talking to them? I feel like just staring into their eyes will make them feel uncomfortable.
It will, in most but not all circumstances.The length of eye contact is determined by complex interaction, and is somewhat idiosyncratic.At one extreme, it can involve a staring contest, and at the other, it can denote deep interest or love.Some very charismatic people I’ve known over the years gaze into your eyes for a long time when you’re speaking to them: it makes you feel that they value you, and what you are saying, highly. But that gift is rare and could easily be abused.As an Aspie who is trying to make more eye contact, this whole topic bedevils me, as I lack experience and understanding in this regard. But I’ve found that a quick meeting of the eyes when someone else is talking, or when an incidental encounter occurs, is safe and sufficient and can be beneficial.
When you stare at someone (look into someone's eyes), do you look at both eyes at same time, or can you only focus on a single eye? Does the other person realise which eye are you looking into?
Srivinas'answer is correct, eyes work in unison and focus on a common spot, they cannot focus on two separate objects at the same time.However, the other person would be able to identify which eye you are looking at, but, if this is during conversation, they are probably not listening to you if they are consciously doing this!
How do I look someone I like in the eyes when talking to them, without making it weird?
You don’t always have to look at someone’s eyes when talking to them. Eye contact does not mean to look and give someone your attention with your eyes, it means to give your attention to someone to indicate that you’re listening in, interested in the conversation, etc.Anyway, it make conversations not awkward, you look at their whole face and not just their eyes. In this case, I would recommend that you use the social gaze, even though you really like this person. The intimate gaze might scare him/her off or make them think that you are creepy person. The intimate gaze is usually used during sex, lust, etc.Image credit:[1]While using the social gaze, one thing that I would recommend you to do is to look away once in a while so that you can ease the tension. When you look into someone’s eyes for a long period of time, it builds up tension, stress, intimidation, etc. When you start to feel that eye contact is becoming awkward, look away and then look back at that person; also, try not to do it too frequently, otherwise people will think that you aren’t really listening.Another thing that would also help is to nod a bit when the other person is speaking, so that the other person knows that you are really listening in, etc.; don’t nod too much either…otherwise, people will also think that you aren’t interested in the conversation.If you find it hard to look at someone’s face (especially those you like), you could use your hands to express what you are trying to say so that the person will look at your hands to your face in a way that is not intimidating. To express something with your hands indicate that what you are saying is important that you want them to know about.Goodluck!Footnotes[1] Image on wordpress.com
When a guy stares in your eyes as your talking....?
Is that just a sign that he's actually listening to what your saying? or does it mean he's actually interested in you? I was talking to this guy that I've been talking to at school today. It seems like each day we are beginning to talk more. I just noticed that when he asks me questions and I answer, he's always looking directly in my eyes. thanks
I can't look people in the eyes when i talk?
You need to work on your social skills -- Looking someone in the eye when talking to them - is a show of confidence, honesty and shows that you feel that you are on an equal base (whether you are or not) - When you refuse to look at someone you are talking to - you make yourself seem dishonest, inferior, and lacking self-confidence. The way to overcome this - is to A) do things that build your confidence B) "Role Play" - imagine yourself in a social situation where you need to meet or talk with someone -- practice with a partner -- or at least practice in front of a mirror - Beleive that you have every right to be heard and to be spoken to -with dignity- Stand tall - extend your hand - shake hands firmly and with confidence (nothing worse than having a dead fish hand shake) - Look the person in the eye - and say "Hi, I'm Peter Parker, I'm pleased to meet you." or "Peter Parker, good to see you again." or "Good to meet you, I've heard about your work." --something of that nature -- You do not have to stare at the person the entire conversation, but you do need to show interest (even if you are not) - And if you have something to offer to the conversation - looking at someone's face - makes you seem confident. Also with your head down - you have a tendency to mumble and not be understood. Practice -- even "introduce" yourself to your parents or a sympathetic person that can help you with this social skill.
Eye contact: Do you maintain it when talking with someone?
mac, your comment about talking vs. listening is very interesting... i usually look away when i'm talking to someone, but i maintain eye contact when i'm listening. i can picture myself doing it every day, but i never even thought about it before. i don't particularly like to be eyeballed ("you lookin' at me, son?") but as long as the personal space remains roomy enough, i don't feel invaded. i guess it depends on the nature of the relationship and the conversation. (ok mac, here's the 'gray area cop-out' part of the show) i'd be less inclined to be upset by a workmate not maintaining eye contact when discussing the next food order than i would a significant other looking away every time we spoke. for informational or informal conversations, i believe eye contact is not necessary. for an important or emotional conversation, eye contact sends just as much information as the words themselves.
When someone is speaking to you do you stare at them eye-to-eye or look down at their mouth as it moves?
It depends on your culture to a certain degree and on many other factors (body language, etc), but when your eyes wander the eyes-mouth area and not just the eyes you are communicating some sexual undertones. Certainly that is a much more sensuous way of communicating that goes beyond spoken language.For example, Spanish people communicate like that, wandering a lot all over other's faces when they're talking, almost like if they were caressing the other's face with their glances. Brazilians do it big time. They are very sensual, so Anglo cultures (and other highly literate cultures which rely almost exclusively on straight eye contact) usually find them either disturbing or interesting, even attractive. Of course it should be done naturally. It's a very subtle, cultural thing –otherwise you look a bit mental. Do a funny experiment, talk to one of your parents. Talk to the eyes then down to the mouth, eyes again, etc. I'm sure they'll find this uncomfortable. Good actors know this but they sometimes overdo it in romantic scenes, when they're trying to express their sexual interest in their partner.With all due respect, I wouldn't be surprised if by focusing on your interlocutor's mouth only you make them feel awkward. Because by doing that you are dealing with them very unnaturally. A minimum of eye contact is very important.
Where do you look at while talking to someone?
Well well well. Eyes speak more effective than your words can, provided you know how to make them speak.Eyes tell how confident you are and how much in control of the situation and conversation you are. There is no straight jacket solution and no solid eye contact please. Let's learn how to use your eyes to help you convey your message better and more effectively.First thing first. Don't aim at eyes in the beginning unless you master this art as it takes a lot of practice to master the constant eye contact . Yea loosely speaking, it is said that you are supposed to maintain an eye contact but not a solid one. As solid speaks of more STARE rather than an eye contact.Eye contact requires a lot of confidence in both the conversationalists and loads of people avoid eye contact or force it as they either lack confidence or have never paid attention to it.They one straight jacket solution is to start a conversation with your eyes loosely focused on the level little higher than the eyes that is the third eye area or the beginning of the fore head. Now slowly slip in the eye contacts in between and feel confident and feel in control of your own body language.Remember it is “eye contact”. Not concentration or staring at people you speak with.Let us divide the conversation with people in two parts.Eye contact when speaking to authorities - use smiling eyes and look a little higher than eye level. Look at more the forehead and at times just make eye contacts - meaning into the eye.Eye contact when speaking to juniors/younger/mates - while talking to talking to your juniors/ mates/younger people you look more into eyes and for a change at the forehead level. This makes you feel more in control of the conversation.Happy talking.Use eyes effectively but don't take a stress of it. Just practice itNitin Sarswat
Why is it hard for me to look into someone's eyes while having a conversation?
I can tell you why I don't feel comfortable making eye contact with others while having a conversation (and pretty much in general). As a preface, I am an exceptionally assertive person. My personality is typically dominant, aggressive, and forward, and I feel fear very rarely, and certainly not in regards to other people I am holding conversations with. I have a tendency toward loudness. So I can tell you that it is not because I am shy.I have lent this a great deal of thought, particularly because observation suggests that, while it is not a new problem, not all (and perhaps not even most) of my age similar peers (early to mid 20s) appear to suffer with a deep discomfort maintaining eye contact quite like I do. And when I say deep, I mean it. I hate it! I have often tried to challenge myself to maintain eye contact for a certain length of time (usually not even long), and I can rarely do it. It's a skill I wish I had, particularly as a female who wants to be taken seriously and in fact respected in business and politics. To me, it's intolerable---like staring at the sun. Why?!I am loud, aggressive, dominant, yes. But also I am inherently a very private person. Whenever someone is staring directly into my eyeballs I get the weirdest of feelings that that person can see straight inside me and peer into my core. I feel like they can see all my thoughts, secrets, fears, weaknesses, hopes. Overall, I feel the most disgusting vulnerability (not the happy kind I feel with someone I love and know would never hurt me--like I feel with my mom or felt with my ex boyfriend). I can't take the feeling for more than a second or two, and so I break the eye contact and look away. It took me a long time to properly identify and describe the source of my eye contact discomfort but there it is. A la the cliche that claims eyes are windows to the soul and whatnot. Maybe it's true?