How do I get through my boyfriend going to jail for 3 years?
I read all of the answers given before my reply. You have been given some good advice. But no one answered and said they have been to prison. So here are 2 cents from someone who did.Unless you have been in a relationship with him for years there's no reason to wait for him.Anyone going to do time will try to gather as many friends and family to them as possible. This is so that they can assure themselves they won't be alone there.Prisoners have needs and here they are.Hope for a better future after prison. This keeps them focused and out of trouble.Mail hearing your name called at mail call makes you feel loved and not forgotten. It also shows the other inmates and guards there are free people who care about them. Guards are less likely to miss treat someone who has a family who will call their superiorsMoney This is where the people they gather close come in. They have no real way to make money so they need people to send it. Money makes life in prison much easier. From a hair brush, to actual Nikes and food its available at most prisons canteens.A place to come home to after release. 3 years is considered short time but enough time that they will come out homeless if no one takes them in. No one wants to go to halfway house after doing time. You gain freedom just to give it up again at a halfway house.Someone also said prisoners get 23 hours a day locked up and one hour to exercise in a gym. This is only true in max security settings and for punishing misbehavior in regular prisons. Regular prisons have a gym, but max security is usually a cage with maybe a basketball hoop.Look up how.much time your state prisoners serve. In Florida its 80% or 10 months for ever year. So he got 36 months and will do 30. In Florida he should (depending on charges) eligible for work release 15 months before release. So it's likely you won't be separated a full 3 years.I would still advise you not to commit to anyone going to do time. You can write and maybe even visit. But keep the door open for Mr. Really Right.You should also read this response I wrote to someone wanting to marry a prisoner.Answer to Is it a good idea to marry someone in prison? by Mary Livey Mary Livey's answer to Is it a good idea to marry someone in prison?
My boyfriend is in prison what should I do?
Well, this may sound harsh. I would think that you hang with the wrong crowd. If you hand with your boyfriend, you hang with his friends. I wasn't there but it sounds like ur bf made a BAD decision. I personally don't think he was all that innocent. I think he was feeding someone a line of bull. I would think the kid would have been better without a dad who deals meth. All that kid has to do is find it laying around (and it can happen) and OD on the crap. Remove the dad, remove the drugs. Here are a couple questions I would be asking myself. Will he still hang with his buds when he's out? If you stay with him, can he give you a stable life or is he going to go back to jail? If you wind up having kids by him, do you want your kids brought up around drugs and a sinister life style? How well can he support the "family" with a felony conviction? His opportunities have drop dramatically. If you have any self respect and want more out of life, I would move on. There are people out there that will make you shine. There are people out there that will put you on a pedistal and provide for you in a positive way. There are people that will give you the possibility of a wonderful life. Do you want to worry whether the cops are going to show up in the middle of the night, every night? Disrupting your home, scaring you and your children. What if things go really bad and you have kids and the cops do come and take both you and your now BF to jail. Who's going to care for the kids? Social Services? Foster care? or later on the Penal System? Yeah, there's a thought. Your BF/hubby and your 18 year old kid sharing a cell block. There's a picture you can put on the family Christmas card. Good luck...
My boyfriend is going to jail for two years?
I dunno the whole story, but I can tell you it will be EXTREMELY HARD! I know!! My boyfriend got locked you for 2 years also.. In fact he is still there. He's only got 3 months to him min! So i'm crossing my fingers. The first 3-6 months was the hardest.. You'll go from talking to him everyday to no speaking for weeks.. When ppl go to jail the first 2-3 weeks they are getting all the stuff in there straighted out and may not be able to make contact with anyone at all.. Which is SUPER hard cuz u have no idea if they are ok! After the first visit (that's is he's close enough to visit), you feel like crap, bc its like a tease! But it DOES get easier.. Not much but a little! It helps a lot if you find other things to do. And let him know ur there! That helps him alot!! And tell him to work in there cuz that helps his time go by and it looks gd for him!! But I am going to tell you guys will try to talk to you. I know and honestly I did slip up a little after he'd been gone a year, and I had to step back and decided if I wanted to wait or move on. But I decided he is what I want and I will be here when he comes home. ALSO HE WILL CHANGE! But so will you.. 2 years isn't that long on a calendar, but it is a lot of time and a lot will happen. This is something that you will probably go back and forth on the whole time he's gone, but in the end I'm sure you'll do whats best for you!
My x boyfriend is coming home from prison after serving 9 years. Unsure of what to do. (PART ONE)?
First of all, moving in with you should not even be on the table. If you are eventually going to be together , it should be on common terms and not because one or the other of you is in desperate need of anything. There are many halfway houses and housing available for him to choose from. During this time of adjustment and finding a job, you should be in contact, but not living together. It is not your responsibility to house him, but you can help him find housing and other needed things. During this time, you will be able to see if he goes back to what was familiar to him or if he is truely changed and is living as he talks. He is not a child, he is an adult, and in prison he has had some training on being released and the options available to him. If he ignored all this based on thinking that he was better than that or wouldnt need it, he should contact his parole officer and get the information before he is released. Basically, be his friend, help where you can without putting yourself in a position of having to kick him to the curb if he goes back to his old lifestyle. Look long and hard before you leap into anything.
My boyfriend is in jail, what should I do ?
Jail changes people...no matter what anyone else says. No matter what kind of man, boy, thug, nice guy, nerd, etc. person that he was before going to jail...his entire attitude on life will be changed when he gets out. If you dont feel like you want to marry this man right now, already, or can't see yourself living happily ever after/ then I would cut your losses. That doesn't mean that he can't have a relationship with his child. I had one year of him out, six years in prison, and then another year out and the six months in prison for violating his parole...in the end we didn't end up together. I was young, stupid and trying to do the right thing by our child, but I'm telling you...prison changes people.
My boyfriend wants to marry me but just began a 10 year prison sentence, should I go through with it?
This depends.... how long were you guys together for prior? And what is he in prison for? Since it's ten years I'm guessing something bad. My advice to you is No! I know that sounds cold hearted, but think of it this way. IF he wanted to marry you he would've done it already. Most .... MOST (not all) people that go to prison just want the marriage so they know that they have someone on the "outs" to write them and send them money. Then they write other women / men because you'll never find out. Also, think where you'll be in 10 years! Do you really want to wait and miss out on a man that is an upstanding law abiding individual with a future as opposed to someone that won't be out for 10 years? Not to mention those with drug sentences (I'm guessing here) will recidivate and end up back in prison. Instead I would break up with him and seek counseling to understand why you feel compelled to stay and surround yourself with negative people. Fix yourself honey, not him. If you were already married and he got something stupid like a 1 year DUI sentence then I'd be like yea stand by him but a DECADE??? and he NOW wants to marry you? Sounds fishy. Oh and by the way, prison weddings aren't all cake and flowers and family and friends, it's you , him, maybe two to three people with the chaplain and that's it. It's over in like 10 minutes and you leave. Also food for thought.
How do I accept my boyfriend, who is in prison, saying he needs space, when I've been with him for 4 years through thick and thin?
You get smart and move on.Find someone who is emotionally stable and does not get themselves put in prison. Also it wouldn’t hurt to work on your emotional stability and common sense as well.This way, you would be able to see that the obvious answer here is to move on and find an emotionally stable guy who stays out of jails and prisons and will also not have many bad genetic mutations to donate to your children should you breed with him.Look ahead to the long term. If you want a good life, your BF now, should quickly become your ex BF.Get with someone stable and have a good stable life with a two income household and emotionally stable children who have not been made crazy and emotionally unstable and jail bound themselves from having a jailbird dad and too many bad mutations.I have been there, done that, and wish I could have a do over. Wasted too much time when I could have been having a good relationship with a stable guy.My ex is still going in and out of prison and has never held a job for more than a few months.Don’t be dumb and impractical and make the same stupid mistake I did.
My boyfriend is in jail should i wait for him to get out or move on?
ummm....if your boyfriend is in jail...is that someone who you really wanna be with?