Honestly, do you think this woman is pretty?
She looks like a model and I love her hair
This girl asked me if I think she is pretty and I answered her honestly and said "No, but somebody else might" then she started swearing at me and calling me nasty names. Why is she angry at me when she asked for my opinion?
Because she doesn’t want your honest opinion. She wants you to say yes regardless.Personally I think you did the right thing. You told her the truth in what seems to be a polite way so she won’t chase after you, or if she does you will know at least you’ve said and you’re not in any kind of deception,that being said It’s along the whole double standard for body image types between men and women. I just read an answer on this that summer it up perfectly, there are all kinds of campaigns to recognise women of all body shapes and sizes #curvymen can be judged on our appearance. We can be called fat and judged as ugly for it, told that outback partners don’t like certain personality traits, appearance traits(beard vs no beard, age, race….etc).Everyone one wants to be successful, everyone would like to think they are smart, rich, fit, attractive,successful. They associate this with certain body types because despite all the empowerment, skinny (or healthy rather…) people are generally more attractive. So there becomes an almost association between the two where you saying your honest opinion and the truth (no comment on success) is interpreted as a failure or lack of success (not pretty enough, not thin enough, too thin, wrong race/gender) when it is something that cannot be helped.I think you did the right thing and helped her move on to someone who does find her attractive, but same as when you’re asked how your day went (always say well thanks unless probed, you don’t know how theirs was…)when a girl asks how she looks/if she’s skinny/attractive she probably wants to be lied to, even if the truth is a lot better an option
This girl asked me if I think she is pretty and I answered her honestly and told her I am not attracted too her. Why is she angry at me now when she asked for my opinion?
It would certainly be very nice of someone would print up the darned rule book. After all, you are not clairvoyant.The reason she got mad is because she did not want your honest opinion. She wanted you to give her some sort of compliment.Personally, I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve been around enough to know exactly what to say in just such a situation to make the girl feel good but then I go and say exactly what you said because I’m not going to be forced into having a conversation that I don’t want to have. I’m also not going to be pushed into saying just the right thing. This is not fair of women to do this to men.There are those who will say you should never tell a woman that she’s unattractive. My response to that is “Why Not?”There are others (usually women) who would claim that your answer was very presumptuous. They would accuse you of assuming that she was interested in you sexually - that you are arrogantly inventing questions in your own mind.. I say that these people are the real ones that are being presumptuous because they think you’re making something evil out of it all. Wrong!The bottom line is that you spoke from your heart and said exactly what you meant. There is nothing wrong with that. In the future just sugarcoat it a little if you want to. But don’t become the liar that modern culture and society expects us all to become.
I told this girl I do not think she is pretty. Do you think it was rude of me to tell her she is not pretty when she never asked for my opinion in the first place?
I used to tell my sisters and my close friends things like: “change this dress”! Or “ You should throw this lipstick, you need a different degree of the colour”.I did this because I cared about them, and these things were doable, above all I believed we should be each other's mirrors.I always said “I wish you did the same with me”.But, they didn't always like it, though it's said out of love, and though I really encouraged them to do the same with me.I suppose what suits us doesn't have to suit others.So, I learned to choose my words.Even If it was a catastrophic thing and I had to volunteer, I would say sometging like, “It seems so beautiful on you, but the other one brings your eyes, and suits the weather better’.Because, nothing could be worse then ruining their mood or causing them to lose confidence, or doubt their choices.I'd give a true and accurate feedback only when it's required and if I knew for sure it'd help improving.Even then, I'd start by mentioning the positive sides.Then, I'd mention what could be improved.I'd choose my language carefully.I'd make sure, the improvement is doable.Otherwise, I always choose to be just kind.So, yes, what you did is rude, uncalled for, and invasive too.Besides, beauty is in the eye of beholder.Your rude remark might affect her self esteem.A confident girl is always an attractive one.So, even if she weren't beautiful, which could not be the truth, you've just made her less pretty than she was before hearing your uncalled-for-words.If I were you, I'd apologize and say something like, “I was just teasing you, or I meant that you look prettier in the other dress…etc. something of that sort. Of course if it's suitable.And make sure to learn about how to give feedback.
This girl asked me if I think she is pretty and I answered her honestly and said "You are personally not my type". Do you think my response to her was too harsh?
The fact that you are asking that question here suggests that you know it was too harsh. She was clearly insecure. She wanted your approval. It would have done you no harm to humour her.‘Honesty’ is important in some contexts. It is important in murder investigations and in banking, for example. When someone wants a bit of harmless reassurance, there are no badges or gold stars for telling the bald truth. Go ahead and make a vulnerable person feel a little bit happier with a clear conscience.You can't go back and change what you said. Just think a bit more carefully next time. ‘You look lovely today.’ ‘That dress brings out the colour of your eyes’. ‘Yes, you are very pretty’. No harm done.I work with elderly people, mostly women in their eighties. They make a great effort to look presentable when they go out in public. Of course they don't look like celebrities or fashion models, but I still give their confidence a boost by complementing their dress, their hair or their makeup. It's not a lie; they do look lovely. We can all look our best, and we all like to know that it’s appreciated.
When I told this girl I do not think she is pretty she then told me that she thinks the same thing about me and she also thinks I am not pretty. Do you think it was rude what she said to me?
Not at all. She gave you back a dose of your own medicine. Was she rude? No. Were You rude to her? Definitely. You need to understand that not all of us are pretty or beautiful. Assuming you think you are pretty or are beautiful/ handsome. That don't give you the right to say to another person you don't think they are pretty. Good for her she threw your words right back at you. It feels like you were trying to bully her to make her feel uncomfortable and be selfconscious of how not pretty she is. Trying to take away her self confidence don'tmake you a better person but the opposite. She may not be pretty in your eyes but to someone she is the most beautiful person in the world. She may not be pretty in your eyes but have a beautiful spirit. Saying that to her or anyone else indicates they have something you don't have. A beautiful and resilient spirit. Are well mannered. Have a beautiful personality. And you? Envy.Learn to relate to people not based on how they look because that is superficial and fades. Look at personality, morals, attitude and more. The day you learn to do this, maybe , just maybe you will see others as God sees them.
I told a girl "I don't think you have a pretty face but I think you have a goodlooking body".Do you think what I said to that girl was rude?
That girl told me my comment was rude and it was rude of me to tell her that her face is not pretty because she never aksed for my opinion about her looks in the first place. I will be honest thought that girl NEVER asked for my opinion about her looks in the first place. but still I do NOT think what I said to that girl was rude because I complimented and said a nice thing to her after I told her I do not think she is pretty by telling her I think she has a good looking body.