Does Alcoholics Anonymous work?
“Just?” with consequences like drinking to oblivion, driving drunk and killing someone, winding up in jail or prison, getting into fights, spending money you don’t have?No.Alcoholics Anonymous helps millions of people quit drinking, period. Many of those people find it easier to stay stopped if they continue to attend meetings and work the program; this is no different from any other human habit or endeavor. People who master a skill continue to practice that skill. Attending AA meetings is one way of practicing the skill of sobriety.AA is not the only way to achieve sobriety. Apparently, AA does not work for everyone, although it is not often clear if some of the people for whom it does not work, actually work the program. However, people are free to leave and find other solutions for their drinking. AA has no argument with other programs.Nor will AA turn away anyone for having tried other options.Perhaps most importantly, AA will not turn away anyone for not having insurance, for having a prison record, for repeated attempts to drink successfully, or for any other reason.It’s not called “the last house on the block” for nothing.
Have you gone to Co-Dependents Anonymous? Did it work?
It helped me tremendously. I stopped looking to others for self-worth and approval. I learned that I had everything I needed in me, I just had to believe that. I learned not to have many expectations of what others would do, and to focus on myself. I realized how much influence my family and culture had regarding how I thought I should think and act. I learned to put myself first, but not in a selfish way. It takes time to change thoughts that you’ve grown up with, that’s why weekly meetings are so helpful. Reading literature and books helps, too. Listening to other people’s stories is great, you identify with so much. Try a few different meetings first to find a group that you’re most comfortable with.
What is Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)?
As a life coach, I have worked with several clients that have and/or actively participate in CoDA.CoDA is an organization that is open to anyone interested in developing positive, healthy relationships.The organization follows a 12-Step model similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, helping individuals (paraphrasing here)...that have used the struggles of others to create their identity, their sense of value, by being needed to help their respective family member, friend, or other person deal with their associated struggle(s).In these co-dependent relationships, individuals focus on surviving rather than thriving. CoDA participants help one another sharing their experiences, offering support, and providing hope to those that feel stuck and lost in co-dependent relationships.The CoDA model and support structure is a process that allows individuals to process information, grow and break free from their situation at their own pace.Each of my clients, past and present, has benefited from their participation in CoDA.For more information about CoDA, I recommend checking out their website at www.coda.org.
What does being codependent really mean?
codependency (or codependence, co-narcissism or inverted narcissism) is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.[1] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships.[1] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, and/or control patterns.[1] Narcissists are considered to be natural magnets for the codependent.
Once the co-depend person stops being agreeable, what will happen?
Recovery from codependency is a process. But two initial results come to mind based on my experience and those I have coached:The focus taken away from others and now put on oneself, to mention just a few, is exciting, shocking, liberating, overwhelming and exhausting . There are conflicting emotions and awareness of one's prior behaviors accelerate in clarity and truth. This is when the work to practice recovery really begins.Expect those that were on the receiving end of the codependent behavior to leave one's life, — although it is the codependent that actually leaves because of no longer willing to allow, accept or tolerate emotion/physical/mental abuse……expect loneliness and mixed emotions…. And hopefully see that there is also peace within, which is the foundation of how all healthy humans should live. From there, a beginning to develop a healthy relationship with one’s self & learn that it is only people who dislike themselves that allow others to mistreat them. Learn how to love & nurture the most important relationship of all…. With one’s self. This involves adopting tools that support one's wellbeing…. Life becomes exciting and and a thrill to live kindly, consciously and with goals and plans. And before long..healthy others become endearing friends of friendship and support….
How do Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon differ?
Huh, well there’s the obvious - AA is for alcoholics, Al-Anon is for family, partners, children etc OF alcoholics - past or present.As there is an “other” in Al-Anon, it has more emphasis on codependence. As one is NOT supposed to be codependent, the larger issues around which that revolves are definitely addressed so the person (in Al-Anon) is less likely to see themselves in context of “their alcoholic”. It can be really hard to do that, which is why, for me, I did better in Codependents Anonymous. The presumption that one was trying to be “okay” about another person was too hard for me.It’d be hard to say “all people”, but most addicts and alcoholics qualify for Al-Anon too - I myself found a lot of hostility in Al-Anon tho, as “the enemy”. I could do it when the problem was me and I couldn’t point. I could then forgive way down the road, but the “why should I?” was too strong otherwise.I do understand that it’s not like that everywhere. Anyways, AA is about you, yourself, very much so. That was a novel and unfamiliar concept to me which usually means I need to explore it.
How can I find Co-Dependents Anonymous meetings in Los Angeles?
CoDA.org Meeting Resource Center will help you find a meeting near you wherever you happen to be located. Put in the type of meeting you're looking for, the date, time of day, and location, and the website will match you up with whatever is available. All the best to you.
How do I know if I'm codependent? What are the symptoms?
Every person that I fell in love with has been an alcoholic. I used to think that it was just a coincidence, but now I'm not so sure. It's not like I purposely look for alcoholics... it just seems like I have really bad luck or something. I just don't understand why I keep ending up with people like this. I usually don't find out that their alcoholics until like a month into the relationship. Also in a strange way, alcoholics seem to be drawn to me and I have no idea why. I usually stay in these relationships because I try so hard to help them recover, but I'm not a controling person at all. Maybe it's just a strange way for me to feel loved and appreciated I guess. How can I know for sure that I have this problem... what are the symptoms? Is this something that I can just grow out of or do I really need counseling?
Can depression cause tremors?
I don't think you can simply say "depression causes tremors". It may be the chemical imbalances in the body causing depression also have a physical side-effect. Most likely it is due to him not eating. A lack of key nutrients in the body, coupled with the stress of depression and a separation. That is more likely causing tremors.
Is it possible to truly overcome codependency and not feel so empty?
This is a good question because not every woman who is in a toxic relations is co-dependent. See Narc Attraction Syndrome: When Are Your Drug of Choice. Some people describe codependency as a kind of “inverted narcissist” or upside down narc where you are so empathetic and giving that you let the narc use you to no end. And then you are needy and take just as the narc is needy and takes. But HE is needy for attention and you are needy in your NEED TO GIVE. Now, under your need to give is a need to control! Under his need to take attention is the fact that he has an unhealthy ego.You just think you are empty. Overcome it by getting psychoanalysis. It works because it’s about honesty. You can finally be honest with yourself. And you will find you actually are not empty at all. You will get into reality finally where you are SO HAPPY to not be tortured by a narc. And, yes, you will find a real soul mate who loves you for you. And you will start to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. You can work on your outside and your inside but all the work is with you! Let me know if I can help.