Should you treat your coworkers like your friends?
It depends if you like them or if you even want friends.
My coworker hates me for no reason? PLEASE HELP!?
Every time you feel that she has slighted you, ask her about it. Just say "Have I done something to annoy or upset you?" Hopefully she will discuss it with you, but don't give up if she doesn't and just brushes you off - every time something comes up that produces the above feelings you've described be sure and bring it up with her. After a while she'll get the idea that dumping on you will result in you asking about it, and that interrupts her and becomes a sort of time-liability for her. What I think is going on is that you've inadvertently become her "door-mat" - a person she can get away with dumping on in the office "pecking order". If you are the type that accepts the pecking without complaint or feedback, then it will continue and could get worse. Once you are established as being unwilling to sit back and accept her unfounded criticism and other unfriendly BS, it will likely stop. It's like the old "bully syndrome" where after you punch the bully back a few times, the bullying stops (and indeed sometimes the bully will have newfound respect for you and even try to become your friend!).
Why do my co-workers look down on me?
I have worked at the same place for nearly 18 years. I am a medical transcriptionist at a mental health clinic. I feel I am a nice person and have a good attitude. I also put out very good work (because Management always tells me so). I also do not brag at all or bring my problems to work. My colleagues (mostly therapists with bachelor's and master's degrees) do not like me and tend to avoid me, no matter how friendly I try to be. They also go out of their way to do things for the switchboard operator, i.e., today, they had a "(her name) Appreciation Day" in which all the therapists encouraged their colleagues to wear all-black (the person's favorite color, they bought her flowers, they bought her candy, they bought her balloons, a lunch, etc). I really like the switchboard operator (I consider her one of my friends); however, the only time they (meaning the therapists) correspond with me is when they want something and I always do so graciously (or, rarely, if they think I'm doing something wrong). I'm trying to rack my brain as to what I may be doing wrong, but the more I think about it the more it seems like they don't matter, anyway. The Management staff (especially my supervisor) do not treat me this way; in fact, I have heard nothing but positive things from them. What do you think is going on here? ADDENDUM: Just two days ago, I overheard the Maintenance supervisor tell my coworker (who resigned yesterday), "Thank God you don't have to work next to that stuck-up b*tch." This is not the first time someone has called me stuck-up; even my own mom has. My dad tells me this is "sour grapes" in that he thinks people are just jealous because I do my work and I do it right.
This guy likes me, but I only like him as a friend. How do I break to him gently that I only want friendship?
There's this guy whom used to be my co-worker at a telemarketing company a few years back. We communicate on facebook and myspace and we're just good friends. But for the past 3 months, I had the suspicion that he wants more than friendship. He emailed me last night on facebook stating that he wants to date me, but the thing is, I'm not attracted to him. He's a great guy, he's a great friend, he took me to a play and out to dinner, then he came to my college graduation and gave me flowers and took me out to a dinner and a movie afterwards. I enjoy our time together as friends, but I don't desire a relationship with him. Also he's a bit overweight and not as attractive as others I consider "attractive." But he has a great heart. How do I turn him down and still keep the friendship? I hate to be that girl who has to turn the guy down. I would rather the guy reject me and turn me down. This is hard.
Why do people look down on others?
Because it is the basic human behavior. Putting down weak people somehow gives people a false sense of superiority and helps them re-establish their self esteem.Look, we meet different kinds of people in our lifetime. But there are some people who easily convince us to bend their way. They influence our thoughts the most. They dominate the friendship. Similarly you have other friends, where you have dominance over them.So, whenever you get hit hard on your self esteem and are insulted (mostly by a dominant person; dominant being referred as “stronger personality” in the context of the question), you tend to insult someone “weaker” than you. All this in the quest of restoring your self esteem. And this cycle continues. It does help you in regaining some confidence.I'm in no way advocating that it's okay to put down weak people. I'm stating that stronger ( emotionally, mentally or physically, doesn't matter) people are less vulnerable to being put down.For example : An average student is very less likely to challenge an intelligent student for a quiz or debate, but is never behind in humiliating the weakest student of the class. The weakest student may be a good dancer and boasts in front of his/her bad dancing friends.I think that's the way it goes. It's just a cycle of people compensating for their loss of self esteem by snatching at others’ self esteem.